The Adman's Daughter
by Larry Boodry
Summary: The Adman's Daughter follows Sally Draper from Betty's diagnosis in October 1970, through her funeral in July 1971, with a prologue that is set one year later in 1972. I hope you enjoy it. Thanks to Anna Lena van lersel for the wonderful cover image of Sally.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue – Summer, 1972**

 **Andy**

 **The Caddy cruises west through Nebraska, with Andy behind the wheel singing along with _Mama Tried,_ his favorite tune by Haggard, and on the seat next to him are his .38 snub nose and a fat wad of cash from the last Texaco he'd knocked off.**

 ** _On the seat?_**

 **"Oh, shit!"**

 **He swerves onto the shoulder and stops so suddenly his head almost kisses the windshield.**

 **"Fuckin' moron," he mutters as he shoves the gun and the money into the glove box and locks it.**

 **Then, just before pulling back onto the highway, he sees her, fifty yards up with her thumb out.**

 ** _Holy shit._**

 **Skimpy black cut-offs, skimpier red halter, long messy blonde hair...Nice legs...Tits maybe a bit small, but shaped nice under that top...Cute feet in pricey-looking sandals.**

 **So Andy, who has survived a lifetime of bad decisions, makes another one.**

 **He picks her up.**

 **Sally**

 **I know that car, but not the shifty-looking guy driving it, and my heart does a little lurch as he pulls up to me.**

 **"Hey, sweetie, need a lift?"**

 **"Sure." I toss my duffel bag in back and climb in, the red upholstery warm against my thighs.**

 **I'm used to guys – and sometimes girls, too – looking at me, especially when I'm showing skin, but this creep's eyes are crawling all over me.**

 **Andy**

 **As she gets in, for just a second he has a good angle on her right nipple, then it's hidden again.**

 **And she's glaring at him.**

 **He pulls into traffic, still ogling her, and she says, "I don't like the way you're looking at me."**

 **His tone goes sullen. "Why you dressed that way, if you don't want people to see what you got?"**

 **"Not people in general, just you. You make my skin crawl."**

 **He slams on the brakes, and it's damn lucky for both of them there's no traffic behind him.**

 **"If that's how you feel, bitch, get out of my fuckin' ride."**

 **Sally**

 ** _It's not your fuckin' ride, it's Daddy's. And if I gotta flash some tit to find out what happened to him, so be it._**

 **I lean forward so he gets a nice look, then in my most apologetic voice I say, "Okay, okay, look if you want. Just don't touch."**

 **He grins and starts driving again. "That's more like it," he says, and we're both quiet for a bit.**

 **"What's your name, anyway?" I ask, poking a green fingernail into a familiar gash on the seat next to me.**

 **"Andy."**

 **"Mine's Beth. Where'd you get such a nice car, Andy?"**

 **"You ain't gonna believe this," he says, all excited like a kid, "but some guy gave it to me."**

 ** _Bullshit._**

 **I try to picture Daddy giving this bozo his car, but there's just no way in hell.**

 **"You're right, Andy. I don't believe you."**

 **"Well, he did," Andy mutters, like he really doesn't care _what_ I believe. Then he sees a road sign offering ' _Gas – Food – Lodging – Next Exit_ ' and grins at me.**

 **"You hungry, Beth?"**

 **I shrug. "I suppose."**

 **"Cool."**

 **I notice his eyes straying my way again, not at my legs or chest, but toward the glove compartment.**

 **The closer we get to the exit, the more he keeps eyeing that glove box, and I can almost feel him getting frustrated.**

 ** _What's in there, Andy, that you don't want me to see?_**

 **Then we're there, outside a 7-11 in Grand Island, and he looks at me all irritated. "Listen, Beth, you got a twenty on you? I'll pay you back later."**

 **"Whatever," I say, handing him a bill from my purse. And suddenly I can guess what's in his glove box.**

 **"Thanks," he says, sincerely enough. "I might be awhile."**

 **"Take your time."**

 ** _Please._**

 **The compartment is locked, but Daddy's spare key is taped under the floor mat, so that part is easy.**

 **I open the glove box, and yeah, there's money in there – lots of it – but when I see the gun I almost scream.**

 **Everything inside me goes still.**

 ** _Daddy, if you're dead, I'll avenge you._**

 **I glance through the windshield into the store.**

 **Andy's still shopping, so I turn my attention to the gun.**

 **Now, I'm no expert, but Henry has one just like this with a longer barrel, and not long after Mom died he showed me the basics.**

 **I check the cylinder to make sure it's loaded, then flip the safety off.**

 **I shut the glove box and slide over behind the wheel.**

 **When Andy finally comes out, I've got his money down my top and his gun in my lap.**

 **"You wanna drive my car?" he asks. "That's cool."**

 **"It's not your car anymore, Andy. It's mine."**

 **I show him the gun, pointed at him but too low for anyone else to see it.**

 **"What the fuck, Beth!" His eyes narrow. "How'd you get that? Glove box was locked."**

 **"I knew where my dad kept the extra key."**

 **"Your _dad?_ " Then he gets it, and his face pales. "Oh, shit, you're Don's kid!"**

 **"That's right, I am. What did you do to him?"**

 **"Nothing, I swear! I like Don!"**

 **He seems sincere, so I don't shoot him. Instead I ask for the keys, and he tosses them in my lap like they're hot.**

 **Something occurs to me.**

 **"When did my dad supposedly give you the car?"**

 **"Almost two years ago. Why?"**

 **"'Cause I've talked to him since then. Lucky for you." Then I ask about Daddy's original tags.**

 **"Tags?"**

 **"License plates, idiot. The current ones are not his."**

 **"In the trunk. I could change them for you."**

 **"Oh, sure," I say sarcastically. "So the first cop to drive by could arrest us both." I grin at him. "I'd rather just shoot you and go to jail alone."**

 **Then I remember and dig his money out from between my breasts.**

 **"You don't want it?" he asks, eyeing my cleavage.**

 **"You stole it, you spend it," I tell him, and that's when my inner slut – more on her later - makes me untie the halter and flash him.**

 **"Sweet dreams," I say as I put the Caddy in reverse and hit the gas, peeling out of there backwards like a madwoman.**

 ** _Take care, Andy. I hope I don't hear about you on the news someday._**

 **Don**

 ** _Two weeks later._**

 **The old whorehouse is almost unrecognizable now, he's been rehabbing it off-and-on since the Coke thing hit, and he wishes Sally were here to see it.**

 ** _He's doing this for her, after all._**

 **Right now he's adding a fresh coat of paint to the front porch.**

 **At one point he pauses, hearing an almost-familiar engine idling at the curb behind him, but there's no damn way so he ignores it.**

 **"Lose something?" she drawls, no mistaking that voice, his little girl's voice, and he whirls around.**

 **"Sally?"**

 **It's her all right, in the flesh and grinning at him.**

 ** _Too much flesh to suit him, but after noticing the gun tucked in the waistband of her shorts he decides to let it go for now._**

 **"Hi, Daddy," she says, suddenly shy, and then she flies up the steps and into his arms.**

 **An hour later, with Andy's gun safely locked away and Sally's version of how she got it still sorting itself out in his mind, Don sets down his brush and considers the options.**

 **Either she'd embellished her tale to get a rise out of him, as he hopes, or she'd held back parts of it to spare him, as he suspects.**

 **"Would you have really shot Andy if he admitted harming me?" he'd asked her when her story was done, and her eyes had glittered at him.**

 **"I'd have blown his goddamn brains all over that goddamn parking lot," she'd replied fiercely, then turned on her heel and gone inside to change.**

 **"That damned fool," he says now, thinking of Andy and how he had tried to help the boy, apparently to no avail.**

 **And Sally, his headstrong, half-dressed daughter, had faced him down.**

 **"Who's a damn fool?"**

 **He looks up to see her watching him from the doorway, her feet bare and her hair tied back in a loose ponytail. She's still in the black shorts, but the halter is gone, replaced by a tight white tee knotted just below her chest.**

 **"Not you." He scowls at her. "I thought I told you to put on a less-revealing shirt."**

 **"I did."**

 **"Coulda fooled me," he grumbles, and her hands go to her hips.**

 **"Daddy, if the sight of my bare belly bothers you that much, we should probably just call the nursing home now."**

 **"It's not your belly I'm worried about."**

 **She raises an eyebrow, waiting, and he's almost sorry he'd said anything.**

 **"Sally, I can still see your nipples through that tee."**

 **Her eyes widen, she blushes, and now she's no longer playing at being mad, she's all the way there.**

 **"Please tell me my father did not just mention my own damn nipples to me!"**

 **She's inherited the Whitman temper, but so has he, and now his flashes at her.**

 **"And please tell _me_ ," he says cruelly, "that my daughter hasn't just crossed half the country flashing her chest at every strange boy who gave her a ride!"**

 **She stares at him, the anger in her eyes turning to hurt, and her next words slice him to the quick.**

 **"Oh, don't worry, Daddy, there was just one strange boy. But I can't really answer your question, 'cause maybe I have a sister out there somewhere who's even sluttier than me, one you never told me about." She smiles bitterly, the tears streaming down her face. "Knowing you, it's certainly possible."**

 **She flees sobbing into the house and slams the front door hard.**

 **And turns the deadbolt.**

 **"Sally, I have a key."**

 **"Stick it up your ass!" she yells, and that, more than the locked door, says it all.**

 **Sally**

 **I stalk around the old whorehouse, telling myself I hate Daddy, and Betty, and Andy the pervert, and even Glen for leaving me twice.**

 **But after a while the tears dry up, the anger fades, and this house where my dad grew up draws me in.**

 ** _What's Daddy planning for this place?_**

 **A hotel, I think, because it's laid out like one and he has redone the inside rooms very nicely.**

 **The cynical part of me says maybe it's gonna be a whorehouse again, and then the inner slut part of me says maybe I could work here.**

 ** _Sally Draper, lawyer by day, hooker by night. And I'd represent my own johns for free._**

 **Okay, maybe not.**

 **I wander around some more, finally coming to a door marked _Storage – Employees Only._**

 **I try the knob. It is not locked, so I go in.**

 ** _Hey, didn't I almost help Daddy paint? Makes me an almost-employee._**

 **I see mostly old furniture covered with tarps, boxes of junk, and lots of cobwebs.**

 **And, leaning in a corner off by itself, what looks like the back of a large painting or maybe a really big mirror.**

 **"I see you found my graveyard," Daddy says behind me, and I practically jump out of my skin.**

 **"Graveyard?" I say, once my heart remembers to beat again.**

 **He's been watching me from the doorway, and now he comes in to stand next to me.**

 **"Yup. All the whorehouse stuff is in here, buried for good."**

 **I look around again, hands on my hips. "Did all the stuff in here used to be in all the rooms out there?"**

 **"Most of it."**

 **"What about that?" I ask, nodding toward the piece in the corner.**

 **"No, that's a newer piece I had made. Go check it out."**

 **I do, wondering if it really is a painting or a mirror, my brain not picking up that he'd _had it made._**

 **It is neither, and when I turn it around to see what's there I fall to my knees and start to cry.**

 ** _It's a wooden sign, the one that'll hang out front, and it is Daddy's gift to me._**

 **"I can tell you like it," Daddy says now, his voice so full of love that what I'd said to him earlier makes me ashamed.**

 ** _Oh, Daddy, please forgive me._**

 **In the upper right is a carved likeness of a young girl, maybe twelve, and she kinda-sorta looks like I did six years ago.**

 **But it's the words making me cry now, the words that only my dad would use, and only for me:**

 ** _The Adman's Daughter._**

 **He puts a hand on my shoulder. "Are we good, Sally? Not mad anymore?"**

 **"You know I never could stay mad at you, so yeah, we're good."**

 **He helps me to my feet. "Glad to hear it. Now why don't you go shower and make your calls while I have a drink?"**

 ** _Sounds like a plan to me._**

 **Back in my room I call Carol first thing.**

 **"Hello?"**

 **"Hey, Carol, it's me."**

 **She shrieks in my ear, then screams "It's her!" to whoever's there with her.**

 **"Who'd you just yell to?"**

 **"My mother. We've been worried sick about you."**

 **"Why? I told you I'd call when I got here."**

 **"Sally, you were hitch-hiking! What if some _creep_ picked you up?"**

 ** _Ha!_**

 **"One did. I stole back his car for Daddy, almost shot him with his own gun, and flashed my tits at him."**

 **Absolute silence, then she says, "You'll have to tell me that story sometime."**

 **"I will, tomorrow after Daddy and I meet you at the airport and bring you back here."**

 **I can almost see her rolling her green eyes at me.**

 **"Okay, Draper, what mad scheme are you hatching now?"**

 **"We're gonna help my dad start up his business."**

 **"What business? And what about school? I thought you were joining me at NYU in the fall."**

 **"Not sure what the business is, 'cause Daddy and I fought and I forgot to ask him. A hotel or something. And we can do school the following semester."**

 **"I think you're demented, but I love you just the same. And God help me, I'll fly out tomorrow."**

 **I give her travel details, then she says, "Oh, by the way, call Henry and the boys. They've been worried, too."**

 **My turn to roll my eyes. "I will, but you'd think they'd fret less now that I'm 18."**

 **"Do you want _me_ to fret less just 'cause you're a year older?"**

 **"Of course not!"**

 **"Well, okay then. They're your family, for God's sake. Call them."**

 ** _I hate when she gets all logical on me._**

 **I promise her I will, she promises to be on the first plane out of JFK tomorrow, and we say our goodbyes. Then I call Henry and the boys, assure them I'm fine, and take a nice, long shower.**

 **Don**

 **He sits brooding at the kitchen table with a bottle of Jack Daniel's and his favorite mug, the one Sally had designed for him with a permanent marker when she was ten and he was still a god to her.**

 ** _Some dads roll, but my dad rocks._**

 **He stares into the mug, at the amber liquid there, feeling like the world's biggest shit for what he'd said earlier.**

 **"Hey, Dad."**

 **He looks up, surprised and hopeful.**

 **"Hi, Salamander," he says, the old nickname easy on his lips.**

 **She leans in the kitchen doorway watching him, her long hair damp and loose and almost to her waist. In place of her earlier outfit, she's buried in an old _Lucky Strike_ t-shirt of his that hits right above her knees.**

 ** _Still no bra, but that ship sailed when they let the shit fly out on the porch._**

 **"You're an adult now," he says softly.**

 **"Sometimes," she says with a shrug. "But always your little girl."**

 **This touches him, and he watches her get a clean mug from the drainer and sit across from him. She takes the bottle of Jack and fills her cup almost full.**

 **"Sally, what are you doing?"**

 **"Joining you."**

 **"But why?"**

 **"'Cause it sucks to drink alone," she says simply, and his heart aches for her.**

 **"Oh, God. Sally, I'm so sorry-"**

 **"For what?" Her eyes are wide and clear, no tears, no anger, just a solemn gaze he's never seen from her before.**

 **"For ever making you hate me."**

 **"Don't be stupid," she snaps, and _there's_ the anger as she glares at him.**

 **She takes a big swig from her mug and shudders, takes another swig and doesn't, then gives him that solemn look again.**

 **"I don't hate you. I haven't always _liked_ you, but I don't hate you." She takes a smaller sip now and smiles at him, a warm, happy smile he hasn't seen from her since back before Betty's father died.**

 **"So," she asks finally, "what's this place gonna be when it opens?" Her smile turns wicked. "Another whorehouse?"**

 **He almost drops his mug. "Of course not!"**

 **"Too bad," she says impishly. "We could get Grandma Pauline to run it, me to handle the legal crap, and you to do the advertising. We'd make a mint."**

 **"A bed and breakfast," he mutters, asking himself where he'd gone wrong with her.**

 **"Ha!"**

 ** _He hates when she says "Ha!"_**

 **"What'd I do now?"**

 **"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering, Mr. Draper, whose bed _you'll_ be having breakfast in."**

 **He grins. "And you, Miss Draper, are an evil child. Evil, I say!"**

 **"Speaking of evil children," she says, eyeing him warily, "I hope you don't mind I just invited Carol to come spend some time with us."**

 **"That's fine, but you girls will end up bored to tears. And we can hardly spare another room, with all the early reservations I've already gotten."**

 **"We're gonna help you run the place," she says firmly, "and Carol will sleep with me."**

 **He raises an eyebrow, which she ignores.**

 **Grabbing the bottle of Jack, she refills their mugs. "Now come on, I have lots to tell you, and I think it'll work better if we're both sloshed."**

 **Sally**

 ** _One month later, July 22, 1972._**

 **Today is our Grand Opening, and I don't know who's more excited, Daddy, Carol, or me. The three of us stand across the street and watch as the workers prepare to unveil our sign.**

 **Mom's been buried one year today, and I wish she could be here for this.**

 ** _Sniffle._**

 **Carol squeezes my hand. "I can't wait," she says, her anticipation mirrored by the thirty or so people who've come out to gawk.**

 **They have no idea what to expect, but I do. And I have never loved my father more.**

 **The cover comes off the sign, as Daddy beams proudly at me and Carol claps.**

 **And _The Adman's Daughter_ – that's me! – is up and running.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1: Sally**

 **Frayed Family Ties**

 ** _May 15, 1971._**

 **I hated my mom right up 'til the day I found out she was dying.**

 **I loved my dad, despite all his bullshit, right up 'til the day I caught him 'comforting' Mrs. Rosen with his old childhood nickname.**

 **Now I sort of love him again, even though he's hardly ever around thanks to that damn Coke ad he wrote.**

 **Anyway, my name is Sally Draper, and as I write this I am just a week shy of my 17th. birthday. Betty – that's what I call my mom sometimes - is still hanging tough almost two months past her doctor's death prediction.**

 **We're to bury her intact, in her favorite blue chiffon, with every hair in place and her lipstick perfectly applied.**

 **These are her final wishes, set forth to me in a letter she wrote back in October, but I ignored the part where she asked me not to open it 'til after she died.**

 **There was more to that letter, but I'll get to that later.**

 **And, to be totally honest with you, there were quite a few times in the months since then where I'd have happily buried her in a potato sack, but never mind.**

 **I'll get to that, too.**

 **About Bobby and Gene**

 **My younger brothers are the best, and I'd kill for them, or kill to protect them, and that you need to know right off.**

 **I couldn't protect them from Betty, but as their older sister I should have known what my mother's influence was doing to them.**

 **I mean, hell, Betty fucked _me_ up, and I'm the strong one in the family.**

 ** _Henry says I am, anyway, but sometimes in bed late at night I lie there and wonder if maybe he's lying._**

 **Bobby's 14 and Gene is 8, both of them small for their age and shy, but Gene hardly ever talks at all. (Small wonder, the adults called him 'Baby Gene' 'til he was like five years old.)**

 **I worry that other kids mess with them at school, and if I ever find out for sure I'll handle it.**

 **Then I'll call Henry to bail my ass out of jail.**

 **About Henry**

 **Henry is my stepdad, a nice guy who really loves my mom, and us. He's also a big shot in New York politics, so maybe me getting arrested wouldn't look so good on his resume.**

 **The Day From Hell**

 ** _October, 1970._**

 **It was Henry who told me about Betty having cancer, he came to Miss Porter's and waited for me in my room while I was out somewhere with Carol. Then, after he told me Betty doesn't want us kids to know and won't seek treatment, he broke down worse than me and I ended up comforting _him_.**

 **Here's the thing about all that: For Betty to keep her diagnosis a secret from her kids is, to me, so goddamn selfish I could scream. And to this day she refuses to consider getting treatment that might give us more time with her.**

 **So there I was, consoling the man who loves her, and along with my own grief there was this anger at her, an anger I still have and may never lose.**

 **Anyway, as Henry waits in the car I pack an overnight bag, grateful that he's already cleared it with the school that I'm leaving with him.**

 **Carol, who made herself scarce so Henry and I could talk, hasn't returned yet, so I'll miss hugging her goodbye.**

 **Then as I step out of my room, this girl I never liked is there with her friends smirking at me.**

 **"So, Draper, who's the hot older guy? I always knew you had some slut in you, but save some for the rest of us, won't you?"**

 **That's as far as she gets before I split my knuckle on her teeth, and then we're on the floor pulling hair and punching the crap out of each other.**

 **And y'know, it felt damn good.**

 **The Quality of Mercy**

 **I'm almost suspended for fighting, but because of what's up at home Mrs. Beresford takes pity on me and lets it slide.**

 **Why Henry is Cool**

 **When I finally get to the car with my torn blouse, my bloody lip, and my hair down in my face, Henry's eyebrows go up and he says, in that dry way of his, "Saying goodbye to your friends?"**

 **I stare at him, then I laugh, then he laughs, then we head for home.**

 **On the way Henry asks what happened.**

 **I shrug. "This girl Blanca was running her mouth. I shut it for her."**

 **"What was she saying?"**

 **"I'd rather not tell you."**

 **"Why not?"**

 **"It was sort of about you."**

 **"Oh." He thinks on that for a sec, then says, "When you come back, hit her again."**

 **Why Betty Isn't**

 **Back at the house Henry says "I brought you a surprise," meaning me, but mom just walks around my awkward attempt at a hug and heads upstairs to her room, with Henry trailing after her.**

 ** _Well, fine._**

 **I'd rather hang with Bobby and Gene, anyway.**

 **Always With the Negative Waves**

 **That night _Kelly's Heroes_ is finally on T.V. as I pad barefoot into the living room in just my oversized Jefferson Airplane t-shirt, my hair still damp and tangled from the shower. I insert myself on the couch between Bobby and Gene, tuck my bare legs up under me, and watch it with them. It's a movie I've been wanting to see, but tonight all I wanna do is cry because my friend Glen is in Vietnam and I haven't heard from him once since he went over there.**

 **Henry enters from the kitchen with a huge bowl of popcorn. "Thinking about Glen?" he asks, somehow sensing the reason for my mood.**

 **I nod, wiping my eyes with the hem of my t-shirt and inadvertently showing off my smiley face underwear.**

 ** _Oops._**

 **"Where's Mom?" I ask, blushing like mad, but before Henry can answer Bobby mutters, so low that only I hear it: "Glen is a stupid weirdo."**

 **"You little shit!" I yell at him, and before I can stop myself I slap his face.**

 **Dead silence all around.**

 ** _I am such a bitch._**

 **The look on Bobby's face breaks my heart, and suddenly I grab him to me, his head buried against my breasts as I sob incoherently.**

 ** _I'm sorry, Bobby. For hitting you, and for what they haven't told you yet._**

 **Okay, so I'm in my room a little later, trying to write a letter to Glen, with Coven's _One Tin Soldier_ turned up loud on my record player. What I have so far is this:**

 ** _Dear Glen_**

 **There's a knock at my bedroom door, probably Betty wanting me to turn my music down.**

 **"Go away, Mom."**

 **"I'm not Mom," Bobby informs me through the door, so I lower the volume after all and let him in.**

 **"Hey," he says, not looking at me as I close the door behind him. "I'm sorry for what I said. I know Glen is like one of your only friends."**

 **"Gee, thanks."**

 **He looks embarrassed. "I didn't mean it like that, okay? Heck, it's not like I've got a ton of friends either."**

 **I sit crosslegged on my bed and gesture for him to join me, but he gives me a wary look.**

 **"You're not gonna hug me again, are you?"**

 **I grin wickedly at him. "What, you didn't like your face squished against my chest?"**

 **Bobby blushes. "I'd a liked it better if you weren't my sister."**

 **He sits on the edge of the bed and averts his eyes again. Finally he speaks.**

 **"Sally, what's going on? Mom and Henry argue a lot, but when they see me listening they shut up. And I know you didn't flip out just for what I said about Glen."**

 **I sigh and take his hand, holding it on my bare thigh. He doesn't pull it away.**

 **"Bobby, I'm sorry for that, big time. And you're right, it really had nothing to do with Glen."**

 **"Then why? You sure seem mad about _something_ , and you came home all beat up."**

 **"I can't talk about it, okay? Hell, _I'm_ not even supposed to know."**

 **"To know _what_ , Sally? Tell me."**

 **"I _can't!_ I want to so bad, and they won't let me, and it's not fucking _fair!_ "**

 **Then, my brother's worst nightmare, I hug him again and sob all over both of us.**

 **We hold each other for a while, not speaking, until finally Bobby stands up and says, "I better go to bed now."**

 **"You can crash in here if you want. I could use the company."**

 **He hesitates, then shakes his head. "I could use the company, too, but maybe tonight Mom needs you more."**

 **"How do you figure?"**

 **"She's been lurking outside your door for the past five minutes."**

 **"I am not lurking!" we hear from the hall, then Mom's footsteps retreating.**

 **"I'll see you, Sally," my brother says, kissing my cheek and blushing. Then he's gone.**

 **I turn out my bedside lamp, stretch out on the bed, and wait.**

 **I don't wait long.**

 **"Did I wake you?" Mom asks as she enters my room a few seconds later, and I say no.**

 ** _Like I could sleep after the day I just had._**

 **Then we talk, and the last thing she says to me as she's leaving is, "Go back to sleep."**

 **How perfectly 'Betty' is that?**

 **Anyway, I don't recall our conversation word-for-word, basically Mom tried to snow me on why her not getting treatment is a good thing, then she forced her death letter on me and told me to be gone in the morning because "I don't want you alarming your brothers."**

 **When she's gone I kill the light again and just lie there. I want so bad to open the letter, but I've still got to face Betty in the morning and she'd know. So I stash it under my pillow and stare at the ceiling.**

 ** _Betty_. _My mother._**

 ** _Dying of lung cancer._**

 **I remember that time, driving back from Miss Porter's the day I first got accepted, when Mom let me smoke with her. So casual, a real mother-daughter moment, and suddenly I'm off the bed and digging in my purse for the almost-new pack of Marlboros hidden there.**

 **I go down the hall to the bathroom, lock the door, and stare at myself in the mirror just to see if I look as pissed as I feel.**

 **I do, and seventeen flushes of the toilet later that crumpled, empty pack makes a satisfying sound as it hits the bottom of the wastebasket.**

 **I step back into the hall to find Henry, Bobby, and Gene standing there staring at me.**

 ** _No Betty, so her meds must be working._**

 **"Hey, guys," I say, breathing hard and staring back at them through my hair.**

 **"You okay?" Henry asks.**

 **"I am now."**

 **"We heard you cussing," Bobby informs me.**

 ** _Cussing? That I don't remember._**

 **I glare at him and Gene. "If either of you ever even _looks_ at a cigarette, and I find out, I'll do worse than cuss, got it?"**

 **Then I stalk back to my room, slam the door, and throw myself face-down on the bed.**

 ** _Still later._**

 **Stuff I remember while hugging my knees in the dark:**

 **Mom shooting our neighbor's pigeons with a BB gun after _he_ threatened to shoot my dog.**

 **Betty slapping me after I cut my hair. The hair grew back, but the memory of that slap still burns.**

 **Betty making me see a shrink after I had a bit too much fun watching _The Man From UNCLE_ at a friend's sleepover.**

 **The time I ditched Glen at the Museum of Natural History because I got my first period. That time, at least, Mom was there for me.**

 **Betty trying to turn me against Daddy and Megan over his past. It didn't work.**

 **Filling out traveler's checks at the kitchen table, joking with Mom, and how she actually seemed to like me that day.**

 **The way Betty and Glen looked at each other later that day, and her calling me Jane Fonda. It ended bad, and Glen went off to Vietnam with the memory of me yelling at him.**

 **How proud Mom was to go back to school. And how proud I should have been of her.**

 **I fall asleep late, tears on my cheeks, and when I wake up there's my bigger little brother asleep next to me.**

 **Breakfast With Henry**

 **I'm up early the next day, and after my shower I dress myself in tight black jeans and an even tighter gray t-shirt. Then, carrying my sneakers, I pad downstairs in my sock feet.**

 **Lured by the smell of bacon, I enter the kitchen to find Henry at the table with the Sunday paper and his first cup of coffee.**

 **"Morning," I say, yawning.**

 **"Yes it is." He eyes my chest poking proudly against my thin shirt.**

 **"Jesus, Sally, can't you wear a bra?"**

 **"Henry, I never wear a bra, and you know it."**

 **"Yeah, but it's usually not so...obvious."**

 **"So quit looking," I tease. Then I pour myself some coffee, snag some bacon from the skillet, and sit down.**

 **Henry watches me add sugar and creamer to my coffee. "Sally, you know Betty frowns on you drinking coffee."**

 **I stop stirring and glare at him. "Betty frowns on lots of things, all of which I care about even less than I care about wearing a damn bra." I point my spoon at him. "And don't forget, she frowns on you working 12-hour days, too."**

 ** _Not that I blame you._**

 **He sighs. "I don't know why I even argue with you. You have an answer for everything."**

 **"Not really," I say, "but keep thinking that if you want to." Then I grin. "Now hurry up with _your_ coffee so you can drive me back to school."**

 **"School? But I thought I snagged you a few days' leave."**

 **"You did, but Betty has other ideas. She's banishing me so I don't upset the boys."**

 **Henry's face goes cloudy and he swears. "I've been telling her she needs to tell them. We've argued about it several times already."**

 **"I know, Bobby told me. He knows _something_ ' _s_ wrong, and I'm sick of not being able to tell him." I sip my coffee. "Next time he asks, just so you know, I won't lie anymore."**

 **"Fair enough. But why are you going back to school? We both know it's not to please your mother."**

 **"I'm gonna pack the rest of my stuff, then in the morning I'm gonna withdraw."**

 **He looks shocked. "Sally, no! You're so close to your final year, you've got Madrid-"**

 **"Screw Madrid, I'll go with Daddy someday. And you guys can put my unused tuition from Miss Porter's into the greedy little hands over at RCD."**

 **"Rye Country Day? But you told us you didn't like it there. It's why you just had to go to boarding school."**

 **"There was more to it than that, but none of it matters anymore."**

 **"Betty will never go for it," he says, being stubborn.**

 **"She probably won't care. But if she does, that's what I have you and Daddy for. To convince her and handle all the boring stuff."**

 **"Well, one good thing," Henry says thoughtfully. "The boys will be thrilled to have you back at Rye with them."**

 **"I like that part, too," I tell him. "And so will Mom."**

 **Back in Farmington**

 **When Henry drops me off back at school, he gives me some money and a hug and says, "Don't worry, sweetheart, by noon tomorrow, everything will be taken care of. Your mother and I will be here at three to sign the papers and bring you home."**

 **"You're my hero," I tell him, kissing his cheek and getting out of the car.**

 **Then I walk into my dorm for the final time and hope Carol isn't too mad at me for taking off so quick yesterday.**

 **She's there when I enter our room, crosslegged on her bed working a crossword and wearing only an old t-shirt of mine.**

 **And I do mean _only._**

 **"Hi, Sally!" she says, setting the puzzle down and making room for me to join her.**

 **I sit down on her bed, having just seen more of my best friend than I ever thought I would.**

 **"Lose your panties?" I ask casually, tossing my coat toward my own bed and removing my shoes and socks.**

 **"Maybe," she says, eyeing my breasts under the tight shirt. "Like you with no bra."**

 **Then the little wench reaches out and flicks her finger against one of my nipples, which obediently springs to attention.**

 **I glare at her. "Watch that shit, Murphy. How'd you like it if I fingered _you_ that way?"**

 ** _Did I just say that?_**

 **She arches an eyebrow at me. "We'd probably become closer friends," she tells me, then sighs. "Sorry about my lack of undies, okay? I wasn't expecting company."**

 **My turn to arch an eyebrow. "Company? Me?"**

 **"Yes, you." She looks hurt. "There's a rumor going around that you're leaving."**

 ** _People know already?_**

 **"What rumor?"**

 **"Well, Blanca and Sarah are telling everybody you're going off with your sugar daddy to live in sin and debauchery."**

 **I roll my eyes. "Blanca and Sarah are idiots, but they are half-right this time."**

 **Her eyes widen. "Which half? Sin or debauchery?"**

 **"You're a goof," I say kindly. "I _am_ leaving with a rich, older man, but it's only Henry. I have to move back home for a while."**

 **"Okay, but why? What aren't you telling me?"**

 ** _The same thing I'm not supposed to tell anyone else I care about._**

 **I take a deep breath and look down into my lap. "We just found out Betty has lung cancer. They're saying she has six months."**

 **"Oh, no!" She launches herself at me in a hug, we cry on each other, and just like with Henry I end up consoling the person who started out consoling me.**

 **After a bit she looks at me and asks, "What are you gonna do?"**

 **"Ah, not to worry," I say, just a tad bitter. "Betty's got it all figured out."**

 **I reach into my purse for the letter – which I'd read earlier - and hand it to her.**

 **She reads it to herself, glancing up once.**

 **"Intact?"**

 **I shrug. "Your guess is as good as mine."**

 **She hands it back when she's done. "Well, I like the part about you marching to your own drum, and how she said she loves you at the end."**

 **"I hate her."**

 **She stares at me, expecting me to elaborate, so I do.**

 **"Sixteen years of her crap, and _now_ she gets me? And get this, she has never, not once in forever, told me she loves me, so _now_ she writes it in a goddamn letter I wasn't even supposed to read 'til she was dead? Bullshit, Carol!"**

 ** _Yup. Just a tad bitter._**

 **That night after lights-out, I'm on my bed crying, and Carol's across the room on hers, listening to me blubber.**

 **"Hey, Draper, quit reading that letter and go to sleep."**

 **"I'm not reading it."**

 **"Okay. Quit thinking about it, then."**

 **"I can't."**

 **I hear her get up and pad over to my side of the room.**

 **"I'm here, okay? I've got you." She crawls into bed with me, drapes one bare leg over mine and puts a hand on my stomach.**

 **"Your feet are cold," I say, sniffling, but my voice is teasing rather than cruel.**

 **"They'll warm up," she mutters, and soon her breathing evens out and she's asleep.**

 **I take her hand off my stomach and press it over my heart, then my body slowly relaxes and I drift off to sleep myself.**

 **Much later I awaken to find Carol still there with me, only now there's a blanket over us and her hand is up under my shirt, warm and comfy on my left breast.**

 ** _Under_ my shirt?**

 **I wonder at that, at what it might mean, but it feels good there so I leave it right where it is.**

 **And yes, her feet _have_ warmed up, just like she said they would.**

 **"Thank you, Carol," I whisper, she sighs in her sleep and cuddles closer, and I swear I can feel my heart beating against her palm.**

 **Finally I doze off again, and in the morning there's a note:**

 ** _Rest well, sleepyhead. See you after my morning classes._**

 **I spend the morning alternately packing and crying, and at lunchtime, since Carol is supposed to meet me at Mrs. Beresford's office, I make sure to get there before she does.**

 **With Mrs. Beresford**

 **"You're early, Miss Draper," Mrs. Beresford says, not looking up from the papers on her desk.**

 **"Yes, ma'am. I have something I want you to give Carol later after I leave."**

 **Now she looks up.**

 **"A surprise farewell gift?"**

 **"Well, it didn't start out to be. I've been working on it for a year."**

 **She gestures at the item I'm holding. "What is it? A photo album?"**

 **"More like a scrapbook," I say, handing it to her.**

 **"May I look inside?"**

 **"Sure."**

 **She does, and as she flips through the pages her eyes get all teary.**

 ** _Oh, great. If she's crying, Carol's gonna be a weepy mess._**

 **"She will love this, Miss Draper," Mrs. Beresford says, sliding the album into her desk drawer. "You are a wonderful friend."**

 **"So is she. If it wasn't for her my first weeks here, the other Old Girls would have hazed me right back to Rye."**

 **She waves that off. "Maybe, but as I recall you were quite capable of fighting your own battles." Then she smiles. "I still remember that time in the locker room when you fended off Blanca Baez and her friends. The image of you standing there, stark naked and brandishing your field hockey stick, is one I shall never forget."**

 **I blush. "She snatched my towel right off my body and was snapping it at me. I had no choice."**

 **Mrs. Beresford nods in agreement. "There's a mean streak in that girl, and no kindness that I can see."**

 **"Y'all talkin' about me?" Carol says in her Southern drawl. "Or Baez the Bitch?"**

 **Our headmistress is shocked. "Miss Murphy! Your language lately simply appalls me!"**

 **Carol shrugs. "If you can look me in the eye and tell me I'm wrong, I'll take it back."**

 **They stare at each other, then Mrs. Beresford smiles, her eyes twinkling. "I can't, so Baez the Bitch it is."**

 ** _Ha!_**

 **Now she looks at me in my jeans and t-shirt and frowns.**

 **"Not proper attire, Miss Draper, but the look suits you." She glances at Carol, who _is_ in proper attire. "And as for you, Miss Murphy, while it is always a pleasure to see you, I must ask what brings you to my office at this moment. Are you planning to leave us, too?"**

 ** _Mrs. Beresford can be droll, which is why most of us girls love her._**

 **"No ma'am, not 'til June," Carol says. She smiles at me. "I just figured my best friend could use a friendly face right about now."**

 **"And mine is not?" Mrs. Beresford sniffs, pretending to be offended. But this is Carol, who never means to offend, so she smiles.**

 **"Well, then. Miss Draper, you will be pleased to know that everything has been arranged for your immediate transfer to Rye Country Day, effective next Monday."**

 **"So Henry called you?" I ask, my relief obvious.**

 **"He did indeed," she says, frowning at my familiar use of Henry's first name. "As did your father, to provide the necessary financial information for refunding your unused tuition."**

 ** _Daddy called too? Henry, you rock._**

 **Mrs. Beresford stands, so Carol and I do, too.**

 **"Sally," she says, "it has been a pleasure having you here, despite a few bumps in the road, and you will be missed."**

 **We shake hands, and then she says "By the way, Mr. and Mrs. Francis will be here at three sharp to pick you up and sign all the paperwork." She pauses, adding sadly, "I am sorry to hear of your mother's illness."**

 **"Thank you," I manage past the sudden lump in my throat. "Where should I wait?"**

 **"You may go back to your dorm," she says. "And take Miss Murphy with you."**

 **Carol looks puzzled. "But I have more classes..."**

 **"Not today, you don't," Mrs. Beresford says crisply as she comes out from behind her desk. "Now go. I'm sure you two need to say your goodbyes."**

 **"Thank you, Mrs. Beresford," I say, embarrassing her with a hug. "You're the best."**

 **Then Carol and I head back to our dorm for the last time together.**

 **Carol's Plan**

 **"This is so against Traditions, you know," Carol says, laying down four aces.**

 **"So let 'em kick me out," I reply.**

 **We're in our room, shoes kicked off, crosslegged on the floor playing rummy with a deck of Bicycle cards I'd smuggled in.**

 **"I don't have that luxury," she reminds me, then asks if I remember the time at the Chinese restaurant when Sarah and my dad flirted with each other.**

 **"Been trying to forget that. You are so kind to remind me."**

 **She plays three queens and ignores my sarcasm, something she is very good at.**

 **"Anyway," she continues, "the reason I ask is, something your dad asked us just occurred to me, and I realized you never answered him."**

 **I can guess where she's going with this, so I say, "I did so. I said I wanted dinner."**

 **She nods. "Uh-huh. And later at the Greyhound station, you told him how your goal was to get away and not be like either of your parents."**

 **"I told you about that?"**

 **Now she grins and slaps down three kings. "Later that night at the first hotel we stayed at. There was vodka involved."**

 **"Oh, God. What else did I tell you?"**

 **She looks at me and does a passable imitation of my dad: "'You're a very beautiful girl. It's up to you to be more than that.'"**

 **I play four threes, which for me is a major move in rummy. "Take that, Murphy. And yeah, those are still the coolest words my father ever said to me."**

 **"Which brings me to my point."**

 **I raise an eyebrow and wait.**

 **And wait.**

 **And finally she says, "Sally, what _do_ you want to do with your life?"**

 **I shrug. "A career in law. Maybe a family someday. To beat you at rummy."**

 ** _Three twos. I'm on a roll._**

 **She eyes me thoughtfully, which always makes me nervous.**

 **"What?"**

 **"You should work for me."**

 **This time I arch _both_ eyebrows at her. "Doing what, exactly? You have no job to offer me." **

**I toss down my cards and stand, bored with our game and thirsty.**

 **"Someday I will," she says, watching me as I walk to our mini-fridge and get us each a bottle of Pepsi. "And it'll beat practicing law for some agency that can't afford to pay you."**

 **"Carol, I like the idea of helping people who can't afford a big-time lawyer. People fighting the system."**

 **"Sally, look. I know you got that whole social justice thing going on, but-"**

 **My temper flashes. "Don't trivialize it! I get enough of that from Betty."**

 **"So who's trivializing?" she asks, ignoring my anger just like she does my sarcasm. "I _like_ your passion for helping folks, and all I'm saying is, you'll get more people to listen to you my way."**

 **Now I'm interested. "How so?"**

 **"Well, who would _you_ rather have representing your cause? 'Sally Draper, in-house lawyer for some piddly shelter', or 'Sally Draper, lead attorney for Senator Carol Murphy'?"**

 **"The second one, but that Sally Draper will be too busy helping rich old farts to worry much about helping guys just back from 'Nam."**

 **We both sip our sodas, then she says, "Sally, you will pick your causes, and I will back them."**

 **I stare at her. "You'd do that for me?"**

 **She stares back, her eyes shiny. "I'd do a lot for you, Draper, don't you know that yet?"**

 **She starts to cry, hard sobs that scare me. I crawl over to her and hug her.**

 **"Of course I know it, you goof. It's why I'm gonna miss your dumb ass so much."**

 **"Love you, too," she whispers into my hair, and then we're both sobbing.**

 **Anyway, we're all cried out and composed by the time Henry shows up with Betty, but Carol takes one look at my mom and starts crying again.**

 **"Oh, Mrs. Francis, I'm so sorry," she says, and my mother accepts this – and Carol's fierce hug – graciously enough.**

 **"Thank you, Carol," she says, and we all troop down to the office.**

 **Chapter 2: Carol**

 **The Scrapbook**

 **Carol re-enters their room – _Just mine, now_ – and kicks off her shoes.**

 ** _Now what?_**

 **She goes to her bed and sits, removing her socks now as well.**

 **She stares down at her bare feet, wondering if she should stow away on her parents' upcoming cruise to India and become a belly dancer or something.**

 ** _Okay, that's just dumb._**

 **Carol is not melancholy by nature, nor does she tolerate it in others, so now she shakes her head hard to dispel the feeling and when her hair falls in her eyes she doesn't bother shaking it back.**

 **She stands and pads aimlessly over to her desk, then stops dead when she sees the album there, with a note from Mrs. Beresford that reads: ' _Miss Draper left this for you._ '**

 ** _What in the world?_**

 **She picks it up, admiring the brown leather cover embossed with the word ' _Photos_ '. **

**She opens the album, and the first page holds an 8x10 color photo of Bobby Kennedy smiling at her from his 1964 Platform Committee appearance.**

 ** _He had such a nice smile._**

 **About to turn the page, she notices the words on the inside front cover, a note written in Sally's neat, precise handwriting:**

 ** _Dear Carol,_**

 ** _I hope you like this. I know how much you admired the man, and how much him getting assassinated must have devastated you._**

 ** _Hell, it devastated me, just like JFK in '63. I am proud to have you for a friend, and I hope one day some girl somewhere makes one of these about you. (Not 'cause you're dead, of course, but because you're awesome!)_**

 ** _I was gonna give this to you in November for your birthday, but now I won't be there. I really, really hope you like it, and I hope to see you over Christmas._**

 ** _Love,_**

 ** _Your Best Friend Always,_**

 ** _Sally_**

 **Carol reads the note twice, then – not quite the weepy mess Sally had predicted to herself earlier – she starts turning pages.**

 **More photos, a variety of _Time_ covers, and one from _Life Magazine_ showing RFK in '64 as a proud father with his kids. Newspaper articles and headlines, all looking like Sally had spent hours at the library Xeroxing them. And then:**

 **The famous photo of Robert Kennedy lying wounded, followed by one of his killer, Sirhan Sirhan _._**

 **Her fists clench.**

 **"Bastard," she mutters, staring at the face of the one person on earth she would gladly kill with her own hands.**

 **Her stepdad had overheard her once expressing that wish to Sally over the phone, and later he called her an ill-bred mountain girl.**

 **What she'd called him got her slapped.**

 **Thinking of the man now she frowns. Her adoration of Bobby Kennedy – a man her conservative stepfather hated with a passion - along with her stated desire to one day follow in his footsteps, are just two of the many things Robert Murphy despises in her.**

 **"Screw him too," Carol says to the empty room, closing the album gently and promising herself to call Sally tomorrow after she's settled in at home and thank her.**

 **"With all my heart," she whispers, opening her new treasure again to the first page.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3: Sally**

 **The Ride Home**

 **From Farmington to Rye is only 86 miles, but with the tension between Mom and me the drive seems endless.**

 **She's up front next to Henry – lucky him – with me slouched sullenly in the back seat, my coat and shoes off and my nerves ready to snap.**

 **"Must you slouch?" she asks, glaring back at me.**

 **"Must you talk?" I retort, and Henry sighs.**

 **"Girls, girls," he says, his standard way of addressing us when we argue. "You're both giving me a goddamn headache."**

 ** _Great. His nerves are worse than mine._**

 ** _Then again, he was stuck with her driving up, too._**

 **I don't answer, and Mom says, "Hush, Henry," and for a few miles the car is silent except for the news on the radio.**

 **I'm only half-listening, but when Henry says, "Damn Palestinians," I perk up.**

 **"What happened now? Another hijacking?"**

 **"No, thankfully. But the PLO is still wreaking havoc over there." He meets my eyes in the rearview mirror. "First Sirhan gets Bobby Kennedy here, and now this recent crap. Something needs to be done."**

 **"No shit," I say, thinking that Carol would have a few choice words to say about the PLO in general and Sirhan Sirhan in particular.**

 **"Sally, watch your language," Mom says out of habit, then looks at me all irritated. "I still can't believe you let Mrs. Beresford see you dressed like that."**

 **"She said the look suits me."**

 **She ignores that. "In my day, proper young ladies wore brassieres."**

 **"In your day, Mother, they wore corsets. And sorry if I'm not lady enough for you. It must be a great disappointment in your life."**

 **Henry sighs again and turns up the radio.**

 **And so it goes, all the way home, and then I see Uncle William's car in our driveway.**

 **"What are _they_ doing here?" I mutter, thinking maybe I should have stayed at school.**

 **Battle Lines**

 **I sit at the table with them, getting madder by the minute as Mom lays out her plans, and it dawns on me that Henry never saw this coming, either.**

 **"They belong here," I say suddenly, and everyone stares at me.**

 **"This doesn't concern you," Mom snaps.**

 **"Like hell it doesn't. They're my brothers, and the last thing they'll need after you die is to be shipped off to Philadelphia to sleep in a strange bed and go to a strange school."**

 **"You're welcome to come, too," Aunt Judy says, looking at me like I'd be anything _but_ welcome.**

 **"No thanks," I mutter rudely, and Henry finally speaks up.**

 **"Sally can stay here until she finishes at RCD, and I'd be honored for the boys to stay, too." He glances at Mom. "You know I love them like my own."**

 **She looks at him, her gaze softening, and maybe with a tear in her eye. "I know you do," she says. "But Bobby and Gene will need a female presence in their lives after I'm gone."**

 **"They'll have me," I say, and Aunt Judy almost chokes on her coffee.**

 **"You? But you're still a child yourself!"**

 **"If you believe that," I say flatly, "then you have no business raising my brothers."**

 **"Sally, don't be rude," Mom says, which of course makes me want to be even ruder.**

 **I get to my feet and glance around the table, my eyes meeting Henry's. "You're on your own, 'cause if I stay I'm gonna say things I shouldn't." Then I look at Betty. "You obviously hatched this plan without consulting Henry, and you had no idea I'd be home. But the worst thing is, the boys don't even know you're dying, much less what you're planning for them after you're gone." My hair is in my eyes, and I shake it back. "Where are they, anyway?"**

 **Henry answers that one, shooting Mom a look. " _Your_ mother suggested that mine pick them up after school. They'll be back tonight."**

 ** _How convenient._**

 **I look at Mom again. "What about Daddy? He can't be happy about this."**

 **"He doesn't know I'm sick, either," she says, not looking at me, and even my aunt and uncle are surprised by this.**

 **"Betty, he's the father of your children," William says. "You need to tell him."**

 **She doesn't answer, and I'm just staring at her with my mouth open.**

 **"So wait," I say finally, "what'd you tell him about why I switched schools again?"**

 **"I said you got into another fight and Miss Porter's kicked you out."**

 **I am so furious right then that I feel myself shaking. And my voice is so cold it scares me.**

 **"If you weren't already dying I'd strangle you."**

 ** _And yeah, that pretty much ended my part in the conversation._**

 **Talking to Dad**

 **I'm in my room a bit later blasting my records, when the phone rings and it's my dad. At first I let him ramble on about some race car he drove at Bonneville, but finally he can tell something's bothering me.**

 **"Sally, what's wrong? Boy trouble?"**

 ** _God, I wish._**

 **So I tell him everything, and at first he doesn't believe me, and when I try to convince him about the boys staying here, he says "Sally, grown-ups make those decisions."**

 **I hang up on him, then stalk around my room for five minutes, so furious I'm ranting out loud as if he could still hear me.**

 **Then I call him back.**

 **"And by the way, Miss Porter's didn't kick me out, I withdrew. You wanna know why? So I could move back here and help Henry cope with the boys, and help the boys cope with Betty, and if that isn't a grown-up decision I don't know what is, so put that in your damn pipe and smoke it!"**

 **I slam the receiver down, glaring at the phone and daring it to ring.**

 **It knows better.**

 **Granny Seconal**

 **Henry's mother Pauline has never liked me, or me her, and that first week after Mom's diagnosis she bullied Henry into letting her come stay with us.**

 **She wanted the boys to have a _'firmer female hand to guide them during this tough time'_ , but since I figured that job already belonged to me, this wasn't gonna end well.**

 **Then she tried to inflict her _'Sally needs better morals and discipline'_ crap on me, and the war was on.**

 **The morning after her arrival, Henry and my brothers are off somewhere, and this time when I come into the kitchen I see Pauline at the table eating a bowl of Farina.**

 **I'm barefoot, wearing my shortest nightgown, and my hair's not washed or combed yet.**

 **What you should know is, Pauline has always hated my hair long, and since my bangs grew out they hang in my eyes a lot, and she harps on it constantly.**

 **She scowls at me. "Your hair is disgraceful. You should cut it short."**

 ** _In your dreams, granny._**

 **"It's _my_ hair. _You_ should quit worrying about it."**

 **She _hmphs_ and studies the rest of me.**

 **"And the way you parade about half-naked with your little tits bouncing...It's just shameful!"**

 ** _Little? Ooh, that hurt._**

 **"My tits, too. And my house to parade around in."**

 **"Do you even _have_ a bra?"**

 ** _Jeez, now I know where Henry gets it._**

 **I shrug. "Sure, I kept one in my closet at school. But I only wore it if a teacher made me."**

 ** _It's still hanging there, something for Carol to remember me by._**

 **Pauline looks sort of mad now. "You're an impudent child. I should have a talk with Henry."**

 **My eyes narrow. "You do that, Pauline. It shouldn't take you more than a couple of seconds." Then I flash her a look. "Or should I say Seconals?"**

 **She glares at me, then without a word she gets up from the table and leaves the kitchen.**

 **Shear Terror**

 **She never says anything to Henry, but that night I wake up to see someone looming over me with a pair of scissors.**

 ** _What the hell?_**

 **Then my eyes adjust and I see who it is, and I can guess what she's about to do to me.**

 **I kick off the covers and shove past her to grab my old, trusty field hockey stick from by the closet door. I hold it in front of me for protection.**

 **"Get away from me, Pauline, or I'll yell for Henry!"**

 **Turns out I don't have to, because right then my bedroom door opens and Henry's there with Mom, both of them staring at us like they can't believe their eyes.**

 **"Sally, what are you doing?" my mother cries. "Put that stick down!"**

 **I shake my head. "She's got scissors!"**

 **"Scissors?" Henry looks over at his crazy mother.**

 **She gives me a sullen glance, then looks at him.**

 **"It's that hair of hers, wild like she is. I just wanted to trim it a bit."**

 **Henry stares at Pauline a long time, and for once when he says "You should go to your room now," he's not talking to me.**

 **The next morning she's gone.**

 **Bah, Humbug**

 ** _December, 1970._**

 **Christmas sucked this year, mainly 'cause everyone knew Mom wouldn't be around for the next one even _with_ the treatment she still refuses to get.**

 **"She doesn't love us enough," I'd muttered to Henry once back around Thanksgiving, and his palm smacked my cheek hard.**

 **I was too stunned even to cry, and he said, "Don't _ever_ let me hear you say that about your mother again. She loves us in her own way, and if that's good enough for me, then it's damn sure good enough for you!"**

 **"I'm sorry," I whispered, and walked very slowly out of the kitchen and up to my room.**

 **Anyway, no such drama at Christmas, but I did get a laugh with Pauline's present to me, which was a bra and which I'd seen her wrapping when she thought I wasn't around.**

 **So very late Christmas Eve night I snuck downstairs, took Pauline's package from under the tree, and hung that bra next to all our stockings.**

 **Christmas morning I'm the first one down, wearing my sheerest nightie, and even Daddy chuckled a little when he saw what I'd done.**

 **Then he made me go up and change, but whatever. I'd made my point.**

 **And Pauline hasn't spoken to me since, so that works, too.**

 **Now, when I say the holiday sucked, I don't mean the gifts did. I won't mention everything – there were too many – but here's a few:**

 **For Henry I got a red silk tie, an expensive Timex, and a leather belt; from him, I got an IBM Selectric typewriter and a big, leather-bound Merriam-Webster dictionary that weighs almost as much as I do.**

 **For Gene I got a gun-and-holster set, some Hot Wheels and GI Joe stuff, and whatever Hardy Boys books he didn't already have; from him (or whichever grown-up ghost-shopped for him) I got a set of scented candles and a hairbrush set I'd been wanting.**

 **For Bobby I got socks and underwear as his boring gift, and a Louis L'Amour boxed set in hardcover as his cool gift. And he got me a Kodak Instamatic camera, plus the film and flashcubes for it, plus two tickets to see _Butterflies Are Free_ at the Booth Theater, which both Carol and I have been dying to see. **

**For Mom I got smelly bath stuff, a bottle of Chanel No. 5, and a Panasonic transistor radio, a round blue thing that lets her listen to the news when she's too weak to come downstairs; from her I received the most recent set of Encyclopedia Britannicas.**

 **I feel so bad, my gifts to Mom were so piddly next to what she got me, but how do you shop for your mother when she's dying? I mean, what do you buy her?**

 **A magazine subscription you may have to cancel at any moment?**

 **A calendar so she can mark off each day she wakes up breathing?**

 **Or do you just buy her something useful and hope she gets some joy out of it?**

 **By midafternoon I'm hiding out in my room, so frustrated I want to rage and scream and punch something, but instead I pick up the phone and call Carol.**

 **She answers on the third ring.**

 **"Murphy residence, Merry Christmas!"**

 **"You need to get your butt here soon before I murder somebody."**

 **Silence, then she says, "That bad, huh?"**

 **"Worse. This whole day has been so surreal, with all the adults acting like everything is so goddamn peachy." I try to calm myself. "I've been alternating between wanting to curl up in a ball somewhere, or putting my fist through a wall."**

 **"I can be there in the morning."**

 **"Carol, that would be awesome, but William and Judy and my cousins are driving up from Philly tomorrow. How 'bout Sunday?"**

 **"Sure, I'll have Robert drive me. You gonna be okay 'til then?"**

 **"Yeah, I will. And thanks. Just knowing you'll be here soon helps a lot."**

 **"I'm glad," she says. "But I'm sorry you had such a lousy Christmas."**

 **"Don't be, okay? I'm happy yours wasn't."**

 **"Thank you." I hear her mom say something in the background that sounds like ' _Tell Sally Merry Christmas from me, then say goodbye. I need the phone._ '**

 **So we cut it short, but just talking to her has lifted my spirits like you wouldn't believe.**

 **I've been crosslegged on the bed with the phone in my lap, and now I set it back on my bedside table and pad barefoot to my desk, wearing white shorts and a black Stones t-shirt with the lips-and-tongue logo on it.**

 **My Christmas dress itched like crazy, and has been banished to the back of my closet 'til next year.**

 **I sit down at the desk, my new typewriter humming at me and my encyclopedias arranged alphabetically on my bookshelf.**

 **Waiting for me to make use of them someday, which I will, but not today.**

 **Today I need to figure out a better gift for Mom than bath beads and perfume, or a cute little radio.**

 **My eyes fall (not literally) on Bobby's gift to me, and an idea starts to form.**

 **I take the camera out of its box, and in a matter of minutes I've loaded a roll of film and snapped on a flashcube, and without reading the instructions I've figured out how the thing works.**

 **There's a knock on my bedroom door, and Henry says, "Sally, can I come in?"**

 **"Please do."**

 **He comes in and closes the door behind him, then just stands there looking at me.**

 **"Are you okay, sweetheart?"**

 **"Better than I was earlier, thanks to Carol."**

 **"But why were you so upset? Your mother thinks it's because you didn't like your gifts."**

 **"No! I love my gifts, just not the ones I gave Mom." I meet his eyes. "I need to do something more for her."**

 **"Sally, your mother loves her gifts, she made me turn off the stereo so she could play Christmas songs on that round Panasonic you gave her." He notices the Instamatic on the desk in front of me. "Got that thing figured out yet?"**

 **"I think so." I pick it up, frame him in the viewfinder, and click. The flash goes off, the cube rotating a quarter-turn when I advance the film.**

 **"Cool," I say, impressed with both the camera and my ability to use it. And that's when Henry puts my half-formed idea into words.**

 **"You know, Sally," he says thoughtfully, "I think I know what you can do for your mom."**

 **"Take her picture?" I ask, being a smartass.**

 **He grins. "Okay, that too. But think about it a minute. What's the one thing your mother loves more than life itself?"**

 **"Cigarettes."**

 **Henry stares at me, looking shocked, and I snap that picture, too.**

 **"That was cruel, oh wicked stepchild of mine," he says, grinning at me. "But be serious here. What else is she fiercely protective of?"**

 **And now I get where he's leading. "Her family. The three of us kids and you. And maybe even my dad, a little."**

 **"Exactly."**

 **He asks if I still have the new photo album he'd bought for me after I used my other one for Carol's RFK scrapbook.**

 **I nod toward my dresser. "In there, top drawer on the left."**

 **Henry goes to retrieve it, then sets it on my desk next to the camera.**

 **"It's blue," I tell him, stating the obvious.**

 **"Yeah it is," he says, agreeing with me.**

 **We stare at it, and finally he suggests that I make a list of people I'll want to include.**

 **The album has fifteen adhesive pages with clear protective sheets that peel back so you can add and remove photos.**

 **Henry's looking at the album with me, and now he says, "If you stick with 3x3 prints, this thing will hold 180 pictures."**

 ** _I'm gonna need more film._**

 **Adding Pauline**

 **The morning after Christmas, I come downstairs in my sock feet, wearing jeans and an oversized white tee with black letters on the front that read:**

 ** _Don't Flash the Photographer._**

 **I did that myself with a permanent marker, and I am very proud of my handiwork as I enter the kitchen with my camera in hand.**

 **Pauline, of course, is not amused.**

 **"That's vulgar," she sniffs, but hey, at least she's talking to me again.**

 **Now she notices the camera. "That's a nice gift your brother gave you."**

 **"Yes it is," I agree, suddenly shy as I face this woman whom I've never liked and who sometimes terrified me when I was a little girl.**

 **"Pauline, I know we don't get along, and maybe some of that is my fault, but I'd be honored if you would let me snap your picture."**

 **She eyes me suspiciously. "Why would _you_ want a snapshot of _me?_ "**

 **"I'm doing a family album for Mom. You're family."**

 **For a long moment she stares at me, then in her usual gruff way she says, "The honor shall be mine."**

 **So I get her picture, and an hour later when she leaves for home I get a hug, too.**

 **Bobby witnesses this phenomenon, and as our step-granny drives away I catch him scanning the sky.**

 **"What are you looking for?"**

 **"Flying pigs," he says in this totally serious voice. "I've never seen one before, and this may be my only chance."**

 ** _Ha, ha, ha._**

 **Gee, Why Don't They Want Me?**

 **That afternoon my mom and dad, Uncle William and Aunt Judy, and Henry all meet in Henry's study.**

 **Even the boys are there, but I'm not invited.**

 **Henry notices my pout. "Relax, Sally. This isn't because you're not a grown-up."**

 **"Then why are you keeping me out?"**

 **He winks at me. "I think Judy is a bit scared of you, and because you're staying with me regardless."**

 **This mollifies me a little, but I still wish I could be in there putting in my two cents.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 - Sally**

 **Meg and Mary, and What Judy Did**

 **Now, with everyone else in the house in the study without me, there is no one to amuse my two cousins, who are 13 and 11 and waiting for me in my room.**

 **"Who let you two in here?"**

 **"The door was open," Mary – the younger one - says, looking oh-so-innocent.**

 **"Likely story," I mutter, then notice their hair.**

 **Mary's is very short, sort of a pixie cut, while Meg's has been shortened to just above her shoulders.**

 **I stare, 'cause the last time I'd seen them both girls' blonde locks hung to their waists.**

 **"What the heck happened to your hair?"**

 **"Mom cut mine off because I got gum in it," Mary says.**

 **"It was my fault," Meg informs me. "She made me mad and I threw it at her." She sighs. "Wasn't aiming for her stupid hair."**

 **"Okay, but why is yours shorter, too?"**

 **Her blue eyes flash at me. "When Mom saw how upset crybaby here was, she reached out and snipped off my ponytail."**

 **I'm shocked. "But why?"**

 **Meg shrugs. "She said I deserved to suffer too." She goes to her duffel bag and pulls out her long ponytail to show me. "Everyone thinks I _asked_ her to cut it, but she's lying."**

 **She's in tears now, and I hug her to me, stroking what's left of her hair.**

 ** _And that's the type of female influence Betty wants for the boys?_**

 ** _Like hell._**

 **Confronting My Aunt**

 **I enter Henry's study without knocking and glare at Judy.**

 **"What'd you do to the girls?"**

 **She looks flustered. "What do you mean?"**

 **"Their hair, damnit. Why'd you cut it?"**

 **"Mary got gum in hers, and I had no choice."**

 **"Meg didn't have gum in her hair, though, did she?"**

 **Judy glances nervously at Uncle William, who is watching her closely.**

 **"No," Judy answers. "She wanted me to cut it."**

 **"She's lying," a quiet voice says behind me, and I turn to see Meg in the doorway, fingering her severed ponytail.**

 **"Meg, honey," Judy says through gritted teeth, "we'll discuss this later, in private." She looks around at the others. "I'm sorry for my daughter's rudeness."**

 **But now Meg has come up next to me, so upset her voice shakes as she glares at her mother.**

 **"No, Mom, we'll discuss it now. I never asked you to cut my hair, and you know it. You did it to punish me for throwing the gum at Mary." She looks at William. "Did Mom ever tell you she wanted her hair in a pixie like she gave Mary?"**

 **My uncle nods, staring daggers at Judy. "Several times. I said her hair was fine just the way it is."**

 **"Uh-huh," Meg continues. "But here's the thing Mom's _not_ telling you. My gum hit Mary in the back, about halfway down."**

 **"Meg-" Judy warns, but Henry shushes her, and I think he's starting to get where Meg's coming from.**

 **"How far up, sweetheart?" he asks Meg in his calm, gentle voice.**

 **"About here," she says, indicating a spot about six inches from the bottom of her ponytail. Then she turns on Judy. "You cut it _all,_ Mom, and used the stupid gum as an excuse. Then you cut mine off just to be mean." **

**She looks at my mom, her eyes shiny with tears.**

 **"Aunt Betty, I know you want what's best for everyone, and if you send Bobby and Gene to us I'll try to look out for them, but who the hell am I kidding? I couldn't even look out for my own little sister."**

 **Then her emotions catch up to her and she runs sobbing from the room.**

 **I look around at my family, then at William and Judy. "I don't know what's been decided here, but if my brothers ever stay with you, even for a visit, God help you both if you hurt them."**

 **Daddy stands up. "That's enough, Sally. The boys aren't going anywhere." He looks hard at William and Judy. "And if I hear of any more mistreatment of my nieces, I will have them taken away from you."**

 **"You won't need to," William promises, and the way he's looking at Judy I believe him.**

 **Back in My Room **

**I find Mary asleep on the floor and Meg sitting on my bed, hugging her knees and looking wiped out.**

 **I sit next to her. "You okay?"**

 **She shrugs. "I guess so."**

 **"How long are you guys here for?"**

 **"Until Wednesday, unless my scene with Mom just cut it short." She looks sheepishly at me. "I feel like such an idiot."**

 **"Why? You were great down there."**

 **"She was awesome," Bobby says, entering my room without knocking like he always does.**

 **"Thank you," Meg says, giving him a small smile.**

 **"So what happened after I left?" I ask my brother.**

 **"Nothing much. They'd already decided me and Gene could stay here even before you and Meg busted Aunt Judy for lying."**

 **From what he tells us, Mom put up the biggest fight, insisting that Judy would make a strong female role model for the boys, but then Daddy and Henry both said that should be me, and Judy – of all people – said that my love and devotion to my brothers was what they need right now, and Mom caved.**

 **"Judy said that?" I shake my head. "She must hate me now."**

 **"She's gone," Bobby says smugly.**

 **"Gone?" Meg and I say together.**

 **"Yup. Uncle William got on her for the whole thing with Mary and Meg's hair, and she got mad and drove to a hotel." He looks at Meg. "She said she'll pick you all up Wednesday to go home."**

 **"Now _that's_ awesome," Meg says, and we all laugh.**

 **Bichiya**

 **Carol's stepdad dropped her off about ten Sunday morning, unloaded her small suitcase from his trunk, and said he'd see her in a week.**

 **I've filled her in on all the drama she's missed, and now we're in my room listening to records and painting each other's toenails red.**

 **"What's that?" I ask, pointing to a silver band pinching the second toe of her right foot.**

 **"A bichiya."**

 **"Excuse me?"**

 **"A toe ring. My parents brought me a set from India after their last cruise."**

 **"Does it hurt?"**

 **"No."**

 **I wiggle the naked second toe of her left foot. "Where's the other one?"**

 **"In my purse. You want it?"**

 **"Sure."**

 **She reaches over to rummage in her purse, finds the other ring, and drops it in my palm.**

 **And now my left foot matches her right one, and I vow to go barefoot whenever possible.**

 **Carol grins. "I'll make a hillbilly out of you yet, Draper."**

 **"There's worse things," I say, grinning back at her. "Now shut up so we can discuss the play we're going to."**

 **She looks at me suspiciously. "What play?"**

 **I shrug and try to keep a straight face, which is something I've never been good at.**

 **"Oh, just some hack production about unincarcerated former caterpillars."**

 **It takes her a second, then her eyes go wide and she shrieks.**

 **"Oh, my God! Draper, you rock."**

 **"You just now figured that out?"**

 **"No! But how'd you score the tickets?"**

 **"I didn't, Bobby did. They were part of his Christmas gift to me."**

 **" _Bobby_ scored them? And you're taking _me_?"**

 **"Carol, he got them for us. You and me. I don't think he'd attend a play if you paid him."**

 **She stares happily at me and says, "Sally, that's awesome!"**

 **"Hey, that's _my_ word!"**

 **We look over, and there's Meg, fresh from a shower and wearing my Stones t-shirt like a dress.**

 **"Hi, Meg!" I wave her over. "Don't just stand there, come here and meet Carol. She's my best friend."**

 **Meg comes closer, her eyes never blinking as she studies Carol's face, then she nods.**

 **"I think you are," she says solemnly. "And I think you and me will be friends, too."**

 **Carol's green eyes widen, never leaving Meg's blue ones, then she returns the nod she'd just been given.**

 **"I think so too," Carol tells her, and whatever just passed between them makes me almost jealous.**

 **And then Carol says, in mock innocence, "So who cuts your hair, Broom Hilda?"**

 **Meg puts her hands on her hips and glares. "Are you making fun of me?"**

 **"Course not," Carol says, grinning at her. "Just calling your mother a witch."**

 **Meg gives her a small smile. "Okay then, but that's not the word _I'd_ use."**

 **My eyes meet hers in silent agreement, then Carol says, "Meg, Sally tells me you kept a souvenir. May I see it?"**

 **"Sure." My cousin goes to her duffel, retrieves her ponytail, and hands it to Carol.**

 **"Why would you want to hold on to this? Your own hair will grow back sooner than you think."**

 **Meg shrugs. "I know that. But I want to remember what my mom did." Her eyes blaze at us. "And one day when I'm bigger I will walk up to her in a room full of other rich bitches and slap her face with it."**

 **"I'd pay to see that," I say, and Carol nods.**

 **"Me, too," she agrees. "But trust me, Meg, the anger isn't worth it, and there are other ways to get back at her."**

 **And with that she tosses the ponytail into the wastebasket next to my desk.**

 **Meg is watching her face, digesting this idea, and finally she says, "Okay, how do I do that?"**

 **Now Carol goes to her suitcase. "By acting like what your mom did doesn't matter. By showing her you are a stronger person than she thinks you are." She comes back to my bed holding a small black leather case.**

 **Meg frowns. "I'd love to do those things, but you need to tell me how." She gestures at the case. "What's in there?"**

 **"My styling kit," Carol says, unzipping it. "We're gonna fix you up a bit." She nods at me. "See how Sally's bangs fall over her eyes just so, how her hair frames her face?"**

 **Meg nods. "It looks cool that way."**

 **"I can do yours the same, if you want me to."**

 **"That'd be awesome," Meg says, but she's eyeing Carol's various scissors and trimmers warily. "You won't make it shorter, will you?"**

 **"Not so anyone will notice. And you'll look good, trust me."**

 **"Judy will hate it," I say encouragingly, and Meg grins.**

 **"Let's do it," she tells us, and the makeover begins.**

 **Meg's New Look**

 **When Carol's done, Meg's hair doesn't look any shorter, but now it's layered and frames her face in a becoming way.**

 **"I love it," she says after checking herself out in my mirror. "What next?"**

 **"Ever have your nails painted?"**

 **"Are you kidding? My mom would shit a brick."**

 **"Might improve her disposition," I mutter.**

 **Meg grins. "It'll take more than that," she says, and we all laugh.**

 ** _A little later._**

 **"You like the orange?" Carol asks, applying black polish to my cousin's toes as Meg admires her newly-painted fingernails.**

 **"For sure," Meg says, perched on my bed in just her undies and an old maroon t-shirt of mine that Carol has cut the sleeves off of and cropped so it shows her belly button.**

 **"All done," Carol announces finally, capping the polish and blowing on Meg's toes.**

 **"Ooh, that tickles," Meg says, right as Bobby comes into my room, again without knocking.**

 **He sees Meg and stops dead.**

 **"Whoa!"**

 **Meg glares. "Bobby Draper, do I look like a smelly old horse to you?"**

 **My brother turns a nice shade of red and stammers, "Uh..."**

 **Meg hops off the bed, walks right up to him, and puts her hands on her hips.**

 **"Well?"**

 **"No, Meg," Bobby finally manages, "you don't look like any kind of a horse."**

 ** _My brother, the smooth talker._**

 **"You say the sweetest things," Meg tells him, then after a pause she asks, "So what _do_ I look like?"**

 **He shrugs, still blushing a little. "Like you, only with cuter legs and stuff."**

 ** _Stuff?_**

 **But Meg seems satisfied with his answer and rewards him with a warm smile.**

 **"Thank you, Bobby," she says, then looks down at her small breasts barely defined under the maroon shirt. "But my _stuff_ still needs to grow some."**

 **"What did you need, Bobby?" I ask, figuring he barged into my room for a reason.**

 **"Oh, yeah," he says, relieved to focus on anything but our half-naked cousin. "Henry said to tell you and Carol lunch will be ready in like half-an-hour." He glances back at Meg. "And your dad said that goes for you and Mary, too, unless you want to join him for a bite to eat with your mom."**

 **Meg looks at me and grins. "My dad thinks he's funny." Then she asks Bobby, "Where is he, anyway?"**

 **"In the study, having coffee with Henry."**

 **"Cool, I need to talk to them."**

 **And off she goes, bare legs, nail polish, and all.**

 **Chapter 5: William**

 **Meg States Her Case**

 **There is a soft knock at the door to the study, and Henry calls out, "Who is it?"**

 **"Meg."**

 **"Well, don't be shy, c'mon in."**

 **She enters, and both men gape at her. And William, for the first time, sees her as the young woman she will someday become.**

 ** _Someday, hell. She's almost there now._**

 **As his gaze takes her in from head to toe, Meg gazes back at him, her chin up and her eyes a dark blue shade he's never seen before.**

 ** _She's daring me,_ William thinks, and rather than chiding her for her scantily-clad appearance he decides to tease her instead.**

 **"I find your sudden lack of modesty refreshing," he says, earning a small smile from her, then can't stop himself from adding, "but I'm afraid your mother won't be quite so amused."**

 **Meg's smile disappears. "The hell with her."**

 **"Meggy," he says sternly, "That's the second time I've heard you swear since we've been here. Should I be worried?"**

 **Her temper, so often expressed in sarcasm at Judy, flares at him now.**

 **"Sure, Dad. You worry about that, and I'll worry about how to keep Mary and me safe from Mom the next time she flies off."**

 **She spins on her bare heels and heads for the study door, and it is Henry who calls her back.**

 **"Meg, honey, wait. Come sit down and let's all talk about it."**

 **She turns, looking at Henry a long moment, then walks back. Still sullen, she slouches in the other chair and rests both bare feet against the front panel of Henry's desk.**

 **Then, misreading William's scowl, she says, "Don't you like my black nails? Or is Mom not the only anal one in our family?"**

 **He wants to lose his temper, but she has never pushed him this hard before, and if he pushes back she'll likely bolt. So he keeps his voice level.**

 **"Your nails are fine, Meg. But Henry's desk is not a footrest."**

 **"Oh." Her feet land on the floor, then she curls one leg up under her. "Sorry, Uncle Henry."**

 **Henry waves it off. "Don't sweat it, honey. Sally's been putting her bare feet on the front of my desk for years."**

 **Meg's brows go up. "Did you ever slap her for it?"**

 **"Of course not!" Henry exclaims, shocked at the thought. Then he looks hard at William. "Is there something going on at your house I should know about?"**

 **William puts up his hands. "Hey, don't look at me. I've never raised a hand to Meg, and she knows it."**

 **Meg meets his glare with a defiant look of her own. "I never said it was you."**

 **Now she's on her feet, agitated, pacing the room, and William – as he seems to do so often with her – says the wrong thing.**

 **"Meggy, if this is still about your hair, you should stop dwelling on it. Hair grows back."**

 **Meg turns on him. "No shit, Dad! It's not about me and my stupid hair, it's about what Mom did to Mary."**

 **She resumes her pacing. "You weren't there, you didn't hear Mary crying, begging Mom to stop, the gum was gone and still she kept cutting off more hair, and when I tried to grab the scissors away from her she smacked me across the face."**

 **Again she stops, breathing hard and glaring at both of them.**

 **William stares at her, her anguish breaking his heart. "Honey, why didn't you tell me right away?"**

 **"Because Mom threatened to cut off the rest of _my_ hair if I told, and when I said 'like hell you will' she said she would hurt Mary instead."**

 **She returns to her chair and sits on it crosslegged, her eyes bright as she looks into his.**

 **"I know you love Mom, and you probably don't believe me, but I don't care. I almost ran away with Mary, every night I planned it, but I'm too young to get a job and it wouldn't work." She sighs in frustration. "So I'm stuck, I gotta pretend like everything's normal and keep Mom off our backs 'til I'm older."**

 **William pushes a hand through his hair, aware that she is watching him, waiting for his reaction. Finally he says, "How can I make this better? I can't just quit work, or I would."**

 **"I know that. And you can't just leave Mom, although it would serve her ass right." She takes a ragged breath and looks at Henry. "You can help me, though."**

 **"Anything," he says.**

 **"I hope you mean that," she says, "'cause if my mom pulls her crap again, I'll need a place to crash, me and Mary both."**

 **William starts to protest, but Henry raises a hand to interrupt him.**

 **"Meg, of course we'd take you in, as long as your dad agrees, and if you ever need me to, day or night, I'll even come get you."**

 **William almost says no to this plan, but the hopeful look on his daughter's face sways him.**

 **"If it comes to that," he says, "I'll bring them myself." He looks at Meg and sighs. "And then I'll call my lawyer."**

 **Chapter 6: Meg**

 **New Feelings**

 **That night Meg wakes up having to pee, and as she heads back to the guest room she almost bumps into Bobby coming out of his.**

 **Between them they have on one set of PJs, bottoms on him and a short nightshirt on her.**

 **"Hey, Meg," he says, blushing at the sight of her bare legs even as she – for the first time ever – admires the naked torso of a teenaged boy.**

 **"Hey, Bobby."**

 **They regard each other awkwardly, then Bobby says, "Meg, can I ask you something?"**

 **"Sure."**

 **"Well, I've been wondering...If we weren't cousins, and I asked you out, what would you say?"**

 **She gives him an appraising look. "Maybe, if you asked real nice."**

 ** _And didn't make horse noises at me._**

 **Bobby hesitates, then asks her, "And if I wanted to kiss you, would you let me?"**

 **Meg's eyes widen, then impulsively she stands on tiptoe and kisses him, a sweet, shy kiss that seems to last forever and leaves them both breathless.**

 **"Whoa," she whispers, all too aware of his hands at the small of her back, hot on her skin through the thin shirt as he pulls her tighter against him.**

 **They kiss again.**

 **The Monster Returns**

 **All too soon it's Wednesday, and her mother comes to get them for the drive home.**

 **"Hi, Jude," Daddy says, kissing her cheek, and Mary – her hair dyed purple thanks to Carol - says "Hi, Mommy!" like she hadn't recently been sheared like a stupid sheep.**

 **Meg watches her mother and says nothing, wearing her cropped maroon tee and the low-cut black cords Daddy'd gotten her for Christmas.**

 **Judy frowns, eyeing her bare navel, her painted nails, and her stylishly unkempt hair.**

 **"I'm gone four days," she mutters, "and my daughter morphs into some sort of hippie slut."**

 **Meg flushes, remembering her hallway encounter with Bobby, his mouth on hers and his hand roaming up under her nightshirt, and decides there are worse things she could be called.**

 **"That's me," she says flippantly, only her eyes showing her anger as she sits down to put on her socks and shoes.**

 **She prolongs her goodbyes as long as she can, sharing fierce hugs with Sally and Carol, a quick kiss with Bobby, and then she is left to face Uncle Henry and Aunt Betty.**

 **"Thank you for having us," she tells Henry, and their eyes meet.**

 **"Anytime," he says, giving her a hug.**

 **Then she looks at Betty and her eyes fill with tears.**

 **"I'm so sorry you're sick," she says, choking on a sob. "I'll make Daddy bring us to see you whenever he can."**

 **"I'd like that," Betty tells her, and Meg throws her arms around her in a desperate embrace neither of them is willing to break until William's horn beeps impatiently from the driveway.**

 **Chapter 7: Long Drive to Philly**

 **Meg**

 ** _She keeps the car too damn hot._**

 **This thought is not new, Meg has it every time they drive anywhere in the winter, but what _is_ new is her use of the forbidden adjective.**

 ** _Not totally new,_ she thinks, _you've been cussing even before Mom went off that last time._**

 **Before, though, she'd been with her friends, not daring back then to swear in front of her parents.**

 ** _But now I don't care._**

 **She'd even sworn a couple times during her talk with Daddy and Uncle Henry, not to mention their first day in Rye when she'd said the word _hell_ in front of practically her whole family, and nobody seemed to notice.**

 ** _Mom probably did, she always notices shit like that._**

 ** _There. She'd done it again._**

 **She smiles to herself, a small, wicked smile that no one else sees.**

 **William**

 **The first ten minutes of their two-hour drive home pass in simmering silence, until Meg breaks it.**

 **"Daddy, can you turn the heat down, please? We're roasting back here."**

 **He glances at her in the rearview mirror: Coat off, folded into a pillow between her head and the right-rear passenger door...Shoes and socks off, too, long coltish legs stretched out, her bare feet in Mary's lap while the younger girl plays _This Little Piggy_ with her sister's toes.**

 ** _She is different now,_ he thinks _, not just in the cropped shirt or the polish on her nails, or even the styled hair that her mother must hate most of all because it robbed her of her petty victory in snipping part of it off._**

 **"Sure, Meggy," he says, smiling at her in the mirror as he reaches out to lower the heater.**

 **And now Mary, mostly silent thus far in her assault on Meg's toes, startles them all with a loud "This little piggy cried 'wee, wee, wee' all the way home!"**

 **"Do the other foot again," Meg tells her sister, and William realizes the biggest change in his older daughter.**

 ** _She likes Mary now, whereas before the hair incident she'd hardly tolerated her. And now I know why she gets such a fierce, protective look whenever Judy comes near them._**

 **Part of him wishes he didn't know.**

 **"Honestly, William," Judy sniffs, interrupting his thoughts, "since when do we suffer the whims of a child? Turn the heat back up."**

 **Meg swings her feet off Mary's lap and sits up.**

 **"This is not a _whim,_ okay Mom? I'm just too frickin' hot to breathe, and you're too damn retarded to care." Then, with her eyes glittering like blue ice, she adds, "And I quit being a _child_ when you cut off Mary's hair."**

 ** _That's my girl,_ William thinks, wondering if his pride in her at that moment is against some parental code somewhere.**

 **Judy glares at her daughter. "That's enough, young lady! I don't know where this new attitude of yours came from, but you'd best lose it before we get home, or I swear I'll knock it out of you!"**

 **William sighs and pulls over on the shoulder.**

 **"No Jude, you won't," he says quietly.**

 **Meg catches his gaze in the mirror and mouths the words _Thank you._**

 **"You've never taken her side before," Judy says, fixing her glare on him. "Why this time?"**

 **"Several reasons, but mainly because I wasn't aware until recently of your tactics for disciplining our daughters. And despite Meg's rather blunt assessment of your mental capacity, she's right about the heat. This is a car, not a sauna."**

 **"Okay, fine. But what about that new look of hers? And Mary with the purple gunk in her hair?"**

 **"The gunk will wash out. And our Meg is growing up, her new look is no different than other girls her age." He narrows his eyes. "Plus, Sally's friend did a fine job fixing what _you_ did to her hair."**

 **"Are you also condoning her recent attitude, William? She doesn't respect me anymore."**

 **"Can I answer that, Dad?" Meg asks from the back.**

 **He nods. "Be my guest."**

 **Meg's eyes meet her mother's, unblinking and direct. "I _do_ respect you, mostly, and I appreciate what you and Dad do for us. But after what _you_ did to Mary's hair, and mine, I don't trust you." She takes a deep breath. "So like I told Dad and Uncle Henry back at Aunt Betty's, I'm still gonna do my chores, still gonna eat all my veggies, and still gonna brush my teeth every night like a good girl."**

 **She pauses, and Judy says, "But?"**

 **"There is no _but,_ Mom. I'm just not afraid of you anymore, and I won't let you hurt Mary or me again."**

 **Meg**

 **Saying the words feels good, she's needed to say them for a long time, and having her dad on her side makes it that much easier.**

 **But her mom is vengeful, and Daddy's gone at work a lot, so Meg knows she'll have to be wary.**

 **And sure enough, Judy's next words are full of scorn. "Oh, please. You're still my daughters, and I'll discipline you as I see fit. If your father ever has a problem with my methods, we'll discuss it after he gets home, and you can cry to him all you want."**

 **Meg flushes, and her voice goes cold. "If you ever hurt us again, it won't be me crying."**

 **William**

 **What scares him, hearing Meg's words to Judy, isn't the threat itself, but the anger behind it.**

 ** _What have we done to her?_**

 **He sees Judy open her mouth for an angry reply, and says harshly, "Shut up, Jude. You've said enough." To Meg he says, "You cool it, too, kiddo."**

 **Meg's eyes meet his, and she nods. "Okay, Daddy."**

 **Then she looks out the window, Mary's sleeping head cradled in her lap.**

 **Next to him, Judy stares straight ahead, silent and seething, and William knows nothing is really resolved.**

 ** _The pot is still simmering,_ he thinks, pulling back into traffic. _And God help us all if the damn thing ever boils over._**

 **Meg**

 **She watches the scenery flash past, the small towns and the rest stops, and as she fingers Mary's short purple hair her mind returns to that awful day she learned her mom couldn't protect them from the monster under the bed.**

 **Mom _was_ the monster under the bed.**

 **"What's wrong with her?" she'd asked Henry this morning while her dad was in the shower, and at first he tried to dodge her.**

 **"You should ask your father," he'd said.**

 **"I did. He won't tell me."**

 **Henry had sighed and mentioned something about her mom having a chemical imbalance in her brain since right after Meg was born.**

 ** _Oh, great. Mom's crazy and it's my fault._**

 **"Can't they fix that?"**

 **"No. But it can be controlled with proper medication."**

 ** _Mom must not be taking hers,_ she thinks now, leaning her head against the window. Then her eyes close and she falls asleep.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 8: Sally**

 **Remembering the Codfish Ball**

 ** _January 4, 1971._**

 **Four years ago, when I was 12 and Daddy and his second wife Megan were still sort of happy (they're not together anymore), I got to attend an awards banquet hosted by, ironically enough, the American Cancer Society.**

 **Anyway, Megan's parents were there to see my dad receive some award, and two of the things I remember about that night are the dead codfish staring up at me from my plate, and what Mr. Calvet said when he first saw how grown up I looked in my new dress.**

 **(There was also the 'award' I saw Daddy's friend Roger getting from _Mrs._ Calvet, but we won't talk about that.)**

 **I mention all this because today in Public Speaking our teacher had us share the most interesting thing anyone ever said about us. The idea was, we'd all tell our quote, then at the end of class we'd all vote on the best one.**

 **I went first, and what I shared was Megan's dad's words to Daddy the night of that ball:**

 **"One day your little girl will spread her legs and fly."**

 **Mr. Connors and the whole class were gaping at me, and then one kid in the back called out, "She wins!"**

 **I _love_ Public Speaking class.**

 **Chapter 9: Meg**

 **Mom's Good Day**

 ** _January 4, 1971._**

 **It is one of Mom's rare cheerful days, and Meg has learned to treasure them however long they last.**

 **This one won't last long, but for once it won't be Judy who ultimately ruins it.**

 **She'd entered Meg and Mary's room a moment earlier to wake them for their first day back at school, only to find Meg already up, crosslegged on her bed and brushing out her hair.**

 **"Good morning, Meg," she says now, flashing a fuzzy, Lithium-induced smile at her as she glances around the room.**

 **"Morning, Mom." Meg sets down her brush, her eyes wary and alert.**

 ** _She's not gonna like what I did to the beds._**

 **Meg had laid awake half the night working up her courage, then reversed the beds so Mary's is now next to the wall and Meg's is closer to the door.**

 **And her aluminum softball bat, in hibernation since last spring, now leans against the nightstand between the two beds.**

 **Her mother frowns, and her fuzzy look is replaced by a suspicious one.**

 **"Why'd you switch the beds?"**

 ** _To protect Mary from you._**

 **"It makes Mary feel safer," she says, hoping her younger sister will remember their cover story.**

 **"Oh, okay," Mom says, fuzzy once more. "She's so pretty with her hair that way."**

 **Meg's fists clench so hard her nails bite into her palms.**

 **"I'm glad _you_ think so," she says, in a tone mean Judy would never tolerate.**

 **Fuzzy Judy says, "Someone sure did a hack job on yours, though. You should let me fix it."**

 **Meg stares at her in disbelief.**

 ** _Man, next time I need to get high I'll just pop one of Mom's pills._**

 **"My hair is just fine, Mom, so keep your damn scissors to yourself."**

 **Her mom's face gets a hurt, petulant look to it. "What'd I say, Meggy, to make you so snippy?"**

 ** _Snippy? Ha!_**

 **"Don't call me Meggy."**

 **"Why not? Your father does."**

 **Meg blows at a strand of wayward hair tickling her nose. "That's right, Mom. _Daddy_ calls me that, but you don't get to." **

**Her mother starts to argue the point, then notices the bat.**

 **"Why's that there? Softball doesn't start until April."**

 **"I know when softball starts, I'm on the damn team."**

 **"Answer my question," Judy says, not so fuzzy anymore.**

 **And out of nowhere, Mary's voice in her head:**

 ** _Fuzzy Mommy was a bear,_**

 ** _Fuzzy Mommy cut my hair,_**

 ** _Fuzzy Mommy wasn't very fuzzy,_**

 ** _Was she?_**

 **No, and not very patient either, as she snaps "Goddamnit, Meg!"**

 **Meg shakes her head to clear it, wondering where that _Fuzzy Mommy_ stuff came from, and when she finally speaks the best she can do is, "Huh?"**

 **"The bat, Meg. What's it doing out of the closet in January?" She sneers. "Or is _that_ supposed to make Mary feel safer, too?"**

 ** _Shit, the damn Lithium wore off._**

 **"Not her. Me."**

 **"And who, pray tell, are you concerned might attack you?"**

 **Meg is suddenly sick of playing this game.**

 **"Some manic bitch with scissors," she says, hopping off the bed so nimbly that Judy takes an involuntary step back.**

 **They face each other, and Meg is shocked to realize they are almost the same height.**

 ** _And she's afraid of me._**

 **"You'd attack your own mother with a baseball bat? After all I've done for you?"**

 **Meg is shaking and near tears as she says, "I would never _attack_ you, and if you ever come at me I won't need the bat."**

 **"Mighty cocky, aren't you?" Judy says, but the fear is there in her eyes, and Meg hates what they are doing to each other.**

 **"No," she says tiredly, "just being honest. But you won't hurt Mary again." She starts to unbutton her pajama top. "Now go, so I can get dressed and get Mary up."**

 **To her surprise, Judy goes without another word.**

 **Nutmeg**

 **An hour later, after seeing herself and Mary through their showers, teeth-brushing, and getting dressed, Meg yells goodbye to Judy and she and her sister head out.**

 **Merion Elementary is just a few blocks over on Bowman, and as they walk Meg unbuttons her coat and stuffs her hat and gloves in her backpack.**

 **"It's cold," Mary says helpfully. "You'll get sick."**

 **"Don't care. I'm sick of winter."**

 ** _I'm sick of a lot of things, but whatever._**

 **Under her coat she wears a white blouse tucked into her black cords, and since the half-inch of snow they'd had lately is mostly gone, she has on her new Nikes instead of boots.**

 **"Mary, do you remember Grandpa Gene at all?"**

 **Mary frowns in concentration. "A little. He usta bounce me on his knee, or sometimes he threw me in the air and caught me. And he liked ice cream."**

 **Meg smiles, recalling those things too, but her smile vanishes when she realizes they are no longer alone.**

 **Three girls have surrounded them, one from her class who thinks she's tough, and two girls about Mary's age Meg doesn't know.**

 **She and Mary stop walking, and now her nemesis looks them over and grins. "Nutmeg and Mary Poppins, how's it going?"**

 **Meg moves closer to Mary, who is obviously frightened.**

 **"Get lost, Marisol. And take Thing One and Thing Two with you."**

 **She glares at them, a chilly breeze blowing her bangs in her eyes, and Marisol's eyes go mean.**

 **"Fuck you, Hofstadt." She gestures at Meg's shortened locks. "So hey, what happened to all that pretty hair you were so proud of? I heard some crazy bitch chopped it all off."**

 **"Not all of it," Meg snaps, still too mad at Mom to bother defending her. "And what some crazy bitch did to my hair just ain't no concern of yours."**

 **"We'll see about that," Marisol says, reaching out and shoving her so hard Meg stumbles backwards and almost falls.**

 **And then, just as Meg is about to launch herself at Marisol, a familiar voice from the curb:**

 **"Save it for _after_ school, ladies."**

 **All five girls look over to see Meg and Marisol's teacher gazing at them from his car.**

 **"Hey, Mr. Mackin," Meg says, none too happy to see him.**

 **"Morning, Meg. Are you okay?"**

 **"I've been better. And your timing sucks."**

 **His eyebrows go up. "Meaning I happened by too late, or too early?"**

 **"Too early."**

 **"I see." He turns his attention to Marisol and the two girls with her. "Miss Sanchez, I suggest you and your sisters head for school, before I remember you were spoiling for a fight and turn the three of you in to the principal."**

 **"It wasn't us," one of the younger girls protests, "it was Marisol!"**

 **"Shut up, stupid!" Marisol hisses, then glares back at Meg as they walk away. "Another time, Hofstadt."**

 **" _Any_ time, Marisol! Any damn time you choose!"**

 **When they're gone, Mr. Mackin offers Meg and Mary a lift, but Meg shakes her head.**

 **"We'll be fine. I want to talk to my sister alone before we get there."**

 **"Okay," he says. "But perhaps you and I should chat sometime, as well."**

 **Meg shrugs. "Fine by me," she tells him, and he drives off.**

 **She and Mary resume their walk to school in silence, until finally Meg says, "Mary, how many friends do you have in your class?"**

 **"Three or four. Why?"**

 **"Who's the best one? The one you can count on most?"**

 **"Alexa Steele. And she hates Martha and Carmen."**

 **"Who're they?"**

 **"Thing One and Thing Two," Mary says with a grin, and they both laugh.**

 **"Bring Alexa by my table at lunch, okay? I'd like to meet her."**

 **Mary promises to do just that.**

 **Mary's Friend Alexa**

 **When Mary brings Alexa Steele to her table during lunch, Meg's first thought is, _No way this girl is eleven._**

 **Alexa is tall and lanky, closer to Meg's height than Mary's, with light green eyes and straight brown hair to her shoulders.**

 **And more chest than any eleven-year-old has a right to.**

 **Meg looks at her sister. "I thought you said she was in your class."**

 **"She is," Mary says. "She got held back a year from being sick."**

 **Meg feels herself flush as she turns back to Alexa. "Sorry 'bout that. I wasn't trying to be rude." After a pause she adds, "I hope you're okay now."**

 **Alexa shrugs. "It was just a killer case of the flu, but my mom freaked and kept me home every time I got a sniffle." Then she smiles. "And _I_ sure as hell wasn't gonna argue, you know?"**

 **"I hear ya," Meg says, then asks, "Did other kids give Mary shit about her hair in class?"**

 **Alexa shakes her head. "Not really. The troll sisters made some comments, but when I asked them to shut the hell up they did."**

 **"I'm not surprised," Meg says scornfully. "They're chickenshits just like Marisol."**

 **Alexa's eyes darken. "Speaking of that bitch," she says, "you might wanna set her straight on a couple things."**

 **"Like what?"**

 **"She's been tellin' everybody you backed down to her, and if your teacher hadn't showed up she'd a kicked your ass."**

 **Meg fights back her temper and says, almost to herself, "Oh, I'll set her straight, all right."**

 **She looks around the cafeteria for Marisol, sees her a few tables over with her friends, and calls out "Hey, Sanchez!"**

 **Marisol glances up, glaring at her, and Meg gives her the finger with both hands.**

 **Marisol in the Coat Room**

 **The afternoon passes slowly, Meg and Marisol glare back and forth at each other, and the rest of the class is anticipating a brawl in the playground after school.**

 **It never happens.**

 **Meg enters the coat room at day's end only to find Marisol already there talking trash with some other girls.**

 **"She won't show," she says. "The little skank is scared of me."**

 **Meg walks up to her, grabs a fistful of her blouse, and slams her up against the coat room wall.**

 **"You got shit to say to me?" she demands, but Marisol is too stunned to answer and barely manages to shake her head.**

 **"That's what I thought. And since you got no shit to say _to_ me, you need to quit saying it _about_ me." She tightens her grip. "And that goes for Mary and my mom, too."**

 **She lets go of Marisol's shirt and turns away to gather her things, then almost bumps into Mr. Mackin as she exits the coat room.**

 **She glares at him. "You heard all that?"**

 **"I did."**

 **"You got something to say, too?"**

 **"Not a word."**

 **"Well, okay then," she says, and beats it out of there before he can change his mind.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 10: Sally**

 **Winter Into Spring**

 ** _January – April, 1971._**

 **Not much going on right now, but I don't mind. When I'm not busy with school or helping Henry with stuff around the house, I'm pecking away at this journal or adding pictures to Mom's album.**

 **Meg and I talk on the phone all the time, she and Mary seem to be doing okay now that Meg basically laid down the law to Aunt Judy, and Uncle William is keeping her (my aunt, not Meg) on her meds.**

 **Anyway, Meg sent me a bunch of pictures for the album, there's one of her and Mary holding a banner that says _'We love you, Aunt Betty!'_ And next to it I put the one their friend Alexa did, a whole group of kids from their school holding another banner that simply reads, _'We do, too!'_**

 **I've gotta meet this Alexa girl, especially since Meg describes her as a younger version of me.**

 **" _You're_ a younger version of me," I told her when she said that, and I swear the girl choked up a little.**

 **So like I said (typed) before, things are pretty quiet. Mom is alert as ever, but needs to rest more than she did in the beginning, and Carol is busy with her last year at Farmington, and I...am...bored.**

 **Bobby's New Friend**

 ** _May 5, 1971._**

 **Early May now, and I finally know what's been going on at school with my brothers.**

 **Gene is indeed being harassed, and I will take care of this, but Bobby's tormentor is worse than any bully.**

 **She's a girl.**

 **"What happened to your neck?" I ask him as I fix our lunches one morning. "Did someone choke you?"**

 **"No," he mutters, blushing so fiercely I suddenly get what the deal is.**

 ** _He's got a damn hickey!_**

 **"What's her name, Bobby?" I ask, using my big-sister glare on him.**

 **"Whose name?"**

 **"The vampire girl who gave you the hickey."**

 **And now my brother's innate gallantry asserts itself as he comes to her defense:**

 **"She's no vampire girl, she's Valerie!"**

 **He stares at me, so miserable I reach out and muss his hair. "Relax, kiddo, I'm not mad at you. Just giving you shit 'cause it's part of my job."**

 **"The part you're good at," he grumbles, then we're both grinning at each other.**

 **"So how'd you meet? Is she in band?"**

 **"Nuh-uh," he says proudly. "She's a cheerleader."**

 **I think maybe my "No freakin' way!" hurt his feelings a little.**

 **"She _is._ And we've been going steady for two months already."**

 **"Bobby, that's great! So when do I get to meet her?"**

 **"Today, actually, she's riding the bus with Gene because I've got an emergency band meeting." He looks nervous now. "And I guess Mom and Henry'll want to meet her, too."**

 **"You _guess_ , huh? I'd say there's no doubt."**

 **Meeting Valerie**

 **I'm usually home before the boys, so when Valerie shows up after school with Gene we size each other up.**

 **She's tall for fourteen, nice legs but no chest, with shoulder-length red curls framing a pretty face. Her eyes are blue and direct, and despite a mouthful of braces she's got a confident, friendly smile.**

 **"I'm Valerie," she informs me, sticking out her hand.**

 **"Sally," I reply as we shake.**

 **"Val and Sal," she says, and for some reason I like that.**

 **And her.**

 **Anyway, since I've never given anyone a hickey, and the only thing that ever sucked _my_ neck was a mosquito, I wonder how one does it with braces.**

 **"Very carefully," Val says later when I ask her, and we giggle. Then after a bit she asks, "When did you get yours, Sally?"**

 **"My what?"**

 **"You know..." She nods at my chest. "Your boobs."**

 **I grin. "When I was about your age. So there's hope for you yet."**

 **"Will they ever get bigger?"**

 **My gaze sharpens, but she's not being cruel, just curious, so I smile at her.**

 **"Sadly, no. But you know what they say. More than a handful's a waste."**

 **She grins like a little imp. "But less than a handful really bites."**

 **I choke on my Pepsi and stare at her, this lanky girl with the curly hair and the braces and the clear blue eyes, and I think, _Valerie, honey, you are innocent, but maybe not so much as I thought, and there's some strength there too, and damned if_ you _aren't just what my brother needs._**

 **Gene's Secret**

 **It's just two days later that I'm home after school when I hear familiar voices outside the front door, but they're not coming in, they're arguing.**

 **Instead of opening the door, I listen through it, and this is what I hear:**

 **Gene: "You can't tell her!"**

 **Bobby: "We have to, okay? You should have said something a long time ago."**

 **Gene: "Valerie, tell him! I'm dead if I squeal!"**

 **I open the door, much to Bobby's relief and Gene's dismay, then my fists clench when I see the black eye someone gave my youngest brother.**

 **"What the hell? Who gave you that shiner, Gene? Talk to me!"**

 **He shakes his head stubbornly, but Valerie says, "I saw who hit him, but I was too far away to stop it." Her eyes glitter at me. "And I _know_ the little bastard, too."**

 **"You do? How?"**

 **"I have a kid brother, too," she says with a shrug, but Bobby won't let her off that easy.**

 **"His name is Zach Miller, he's eleven, and last year he punched out Val's brother."**

 **"What did you do?" I ask Val, but she shakes her head.**

 **"It was no big deal," she mutters.**

 **"It was so!" Bobby says, putting a proud arm around her waist. "When Val heard what happened, she went to this Zach kid's classroom and slapped his face. Right in front of his teacher and everybody!"**

 **"I like you," I tell her, and we bump fists. Then I ask, "What happened next?"**

 **She shrugs again. "I got a week off from school."**

 **"What about Zach Miller? I hope they punished his ass, too."**

 **"Hell," she says, "his mom came down and made him out to be so innocent, and no one saw him hit Toby. Everyone saw what _I_ did, so I got sent home."**

 **"That sucks," I say angrily. "We should find out where he lives and go over there."**

 **"I know where he lives. Over on Cedar not far from school."**

 ** _Well, okay then._**

 **"Gimme a sec to find my shoes," I tell them, and head back inside.**

 **Chapter 11: Betty**

 **Mean Words**

 **Betty watches Sally stalk into the kitchen, barefoot like some damned hillbilly, her black miniskirt barely reaching her thighs and her white blouse open halfway to her navel, and she almost doesn't recognize her.**

 ** _What happened to my little girl?_**

 **"Good afternoon, Sally," she says, and her daughter stops dead in her tracks and glares at her through unruly bangs.**

 **"My shoes. I need my damn shoes."**

 **"Who needs shoes to work in a cathouse?" Betty mutters, wanting to wound, but Sally's reply cuts just as deep.**

 **"Is _that_ what this is, Mom? Does Henry know?"**

 **And then Sally does the last thing Betty expects.**

 **She bursts into tears.**

 **Betty stares wordlessly, then holds out her arms. And Sally, after only the briefest hesitation, walks into them.**

 **Sally's sobs eventually taper off into sniffles, she pulls back, and they regard each other awkwardly.**

 **"That was way too intense," Sally says under her breath, and Betty can tell she's upset with herself for losing control.**

 **Now she watches Sally jerk open the fridge, almost as if the wayward shoes might be hiding inside, and starts to protest when her daughter pulls out a can of Henry's Pabst Blue Ribbon.**

 **But when Sally says "Want one?" Betty surprises both of them by saying "Sure."**

 **Chapter 12: Sally**

 **Keeping My Shit Together**

 **I don't know what got into me right then, except that maybe I finally had enough. Not of looking out for the boys, or of keeping shit running when Betty's too sick, and not even of having been the only adult in the house for most of the last seven months.**

 **(Nothing against Henry, 'cause he tries, but Mom's diagnosis is killing him too, just in a different way.)**

 **I'm just _tired._**

 **I mean, all that stuff I just mentioned is fine, it's why I came home in the first place, but I am just so goddamn sick of Betty's bullshit comments to me, her indifference to my brothers, and her insistence that everything is still normal in our lives.**

 **Plus, she still smokes.**

 **And okay, maybe I did sort of lose it, and maybe I had good reason to, but I'll be damned if it's gonna happen again.**

 **Betty Takes Charge**

 **It's ten minutes after my meltdown, and we're all looking at each other around the kitchen table: Gene with his black eye, Bobby and Val holding hands, me and Betty with our beers.**

 **And now my mom knows what happened to Gene, although mostly she heard it from the others.**

 **She looks at me. "Do you have anything to add, Sally? You've been awfully quiet."**

 **I shrug. "You know as much as I do, even more considering you and that Mrs. Miller bitch are so tight."**

 **"Sally!"**

 **"What, Mom? You want me to be nice? Her little brat clocked Gene, and last year he clocked Val's brother, and if you hadn't talked me out of it I'd be over there this minute slapping the hell out of her." I take a deep breath and shake back my hair. "So let's hear _your_ plan."**

 **"Well, I thought I'd call her and have a nice chat."**

 ** _I've been dealing with Betty's nice chats my whole life. Mrs. Miller woulda been better off with me._**

 **Calling Ursula**

 **Mom lets me listen on the extension, so long as I keep my trap shut:**

 **"Hello?"**

 **"Hi, Ursula?"**

 ** _Ursula?_**

 **"Yes, how may I help you?"**

 **"Ursula, this is Betty Francis. How are you?"**

 ** _Fake friendliness now._**

 **"Oh, Mrs. Francis! How nice to hear from you!" She clears her throat. "Reginald and I were so sorry to hear of your...um...predicament."**

 ** _Predicament? She's dying, you bitch!_**

 **"Thank you, you are most kind."**

 **An awkward pause, then Ursula says, "So what can I do for you, dear?"**

 **My mother does not mince words.**

 **"You can start by keeping your little monster away from my son. And if you don't, _dear,_ not only will Henry and I no longer contribute to your causes, I will personally see to it that no one else does, either."**

 **Shocked silence from Ursula, then she sputters, "How dare you! I know you're sick, but-"**

 **"You're _lucky_ I'm sick. And next time, maybe I'll set my daughter loose on you. She is very protective of her brothers, and far less polite than I."**

 ** _You still rock, Mom._**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 13: Betty**

 **Midnight Chat**

 **Betty knocks softly on Sally's bedroom door before entering. She is surprised to find her daughter wide awake and crosslegged on the bed in a Jimi Hendrix t-shirt.**

 **"You're still up," she says, almost accusingly.**

 **"And _you're_ still very observant," Sally shoots back, shifting her position so Betty can sit on the bed with her.**

 **She hugs her knees to her chest, her legs and feet bare, her hair mussed worse than usual, and for the second time today Betty wonders at this person who no longer acts like her little girl.**

 ** _If she ever did._**

 **Sally is watching her, unblinking and solemn.**

 **"You're still awake too, Mom. How come?"**

 **Betty hesitates, it is not her nature to apologize, but the words need to be said.**

 **"Sally, I want to apologize for my sharp words earlier. I didn't mean to imply you were a whore."**

 **Sally's eyes darken, and after a long pause she says, "Yeah, Mom, you did. But that's okay, 'cause I'm used to your shit now."**

 **The rebuke hits home, and Betty finds herself on the defensive.**

 **"My God, Sally! You don't give an inch, do you?"**

 **"Not usually, no. I can't. And as for earlier, no biggie, you said what you felt, I said what I felt, and now it's over." She pushes back a strand of hair. "I gotta learn not to let what you say hurt me anymore."**

 **She reaches out to take Betty's left hand in hers, studying it, rubbing the gold wedding band with her thumb.**

 **"I know this is hard for you," she says softly. "And if it was me suffering like you are I'd be a raving bitch."**

 **Betty arches a brow, and her daughter gives her a fake glare followed by a small smile.**

 **"Walked into that one, didn't I?"**

 **"You sure did," Betty replies, returning the smile. Then she sniffs the air. "I smell mint."**

 **"Under the bed," Sally says, so Betty reaches down and pulls out a half-full bottle of Peppermint Schnapps.**

 **"Jesus, Sally! Is this how you've been coping?"**

 **Sally shrugs. "Just on the nights I can't sleep."**

 **She takes the bottle from Betty, uncaps it, and takes a small sip. Then she offers the bottle to Betty.**

 **"Have some."**

 **Betty hesitates. "I really shouldn't..."**

 **"C'mon, Mom, live a little," Sally says, then realizes what she's said and flushes. "Oh, my God, I'm so sorry-"**

 **"Don't be," Betty replies, grabbing the bottle and taking a healthy swig. "That was good advice."**

 ** _Sally's gaping at her, but what her daughter doesn't know – doesn't need to know – is that once a teenaged Betty Hofstadt used to cry herself to sleep with a bottle, too._**

 **She hands the bottle back to Sally, who caps it and sets it on the bed between them.**

 **Sally stretches out one leg and wiggles her toes, admiring her toe ring. She glances up to see Betty watching her.**

 **"Does my toe ring shock you, Mother?"**

 **"No, actually. Is that why you got it?"**

 **Sally flashes her an annoyed look. "That'd be a stupid reason to do anything. I got it from Carol, and I wear it 'cause it looks good on my foot." Again the unblinking gaze. "Does _anything_ I do shock you?"**

 **"Not anymore, but there are things that worry me."**

 **"Like?"**

 **"Well, your swearing, your taste for alcohol, and your immodest attire, just to name three."**

 **Sally's eyes narrow. "I swear when I'm pissed, I drink when I'm stressed, and I wear _immodest attire_ 'cause it makes me feel sexy."**

 **She stretches out her other leg and crosses her ankles, absently fingering a loose thread on the hem of her t-shirt.**

 **"But here's the thing, Mom. When I chopped off my hair that time, you slapped me. When I got caught masturbating you sent me off to a shrink, and just today you basically called me a whore for wearing a short skirt and a tight blouse."**

 **"What's your point?" Betty asks, not sure she wants to hear it.**

 **"Just this. All those times, and a bunch of others I could mention, you only cared how it looked, the goddamn _appearance_ of things, rather than wondering what I was going through to act that way." Her voice turns bitter. "And now you're dying, and it's still the same old shit."**

 **Betty feels herself getting defensive again, and also a little angry. "Sally, I don't like where this is going. And I certainly don't like your tone."**

 **"Deal with it, Mom. It's about time we had this talk, so just shut up and listen for once."**

 **"I'm listening," Betty says, glaring at her. "But this better be good."**

 **"You tell me," Sally says, and Betty is surprised to see tears streaming down her face as she reaches under her pillow and pulls something out.**

 ** _Her letter, looking well-read._**

 **"Sally, I expressly asked you not to open that until after my death."**

 **"And I never said I wouldn't, so too bad." Then she starts to read: "' _Sally, I always worried about you, because you marched to the beat of your own drum. But now I know that's good. I know your life will be an adventure. I love you. Mom.'_ "**

 **They stare at each other in silence, then Betty sighs.**

 **"I'm sorry if my words saddened you."**

 **Sally clenches her fists, inadvertently crumpling the letter.**

 **"Mom, don't you get it? Your words didn't _sadden_ me, they proved that maybe you love me after all, but what totally breaks my heart is that you wanted to deny me that gift 'til after you were fucking dead!"**

 **More tears now, but this time Betty's crying too as the two of them cling to each other.**

 **Sometime later, after they have cried themselves out, Betty says, "You'd best get some rest. You don't want to be tired at school."**

 **"Tomorrow's Saturday, Mom."**

 **"Oh, that's right, silly me." She picks up the Schnapps. "Scoot over, then."**

 **"Feeling no pain, Mom?" Sally asks as she makes room, and if there's sadness in her smile at that moment, there's love too, and for Betty that's more than enough.**

 **Together**

 ** _They sleep side-by-side, long bare legs outstretched and the almost-empty bottle of Schnapps nestled between them._**

 ** _One younger, still a girl really, with her longer, more-tousled hair, wearing a rock star t-shirt and a toe ring._**

 ** _One older, still beautiful despite the sickness eating away her lungs, wearing a proper nightgown and a wedding band._**

 ** _They look like sisters._**

 ** _They sleep, and sometime during the night the younger one moves closer, her wet cheek pillowed against her mother's breast._**

 ** _She sighs, and on this night at least, the bitter, angry dreams do not plague her, and she rests peacefully._**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 14: Sally**

 **Birthday Girl**

 **Too excited to sleep.**

 **Tomorrow is May 22, 1971. No big deal to the rest of you, maybe, but** ** _my_** **17th birthday.**

 **Henry's promised me an early ride into the city, and $100 from him and Mom, plus I've got $200 from Daddy.**

 **Three hundred bucks and a day all to myself.**

 **God, I can't wait.**

 **Chapter 15: Glen - Manhattan**

 **Rude Homecoming**

 ** _May 22, 1971._**

 **They surround him on the street at noon, four kids full of rage, and they don't recognize him in the wheelchair, with his long dirty hair and beard, and his fuckin' leg blown all to hell.**

 **"Nazi!"**

 **"Murderer!"**

 **"Baby Killer!"**

 **One of them spits full in his face.**

 **He'd run with them once, him and Sally both, and he thanks God now that she is not with them.**

 **But these four are bad enough: Rolo, his former buddy for Christ's sake, and Sally's old roommate Sarah, now with her hair cut much too short, and two other girls he hadn't known well, Mandy and Carol.**

 **But now Carol hangs back, looking disgusted with the others.**

 **"Guys, maybe we should just leave him alone."**

 **"Oh, shut up, Carol," Sarah snaps at her.**

 **"Yeah,** ** _Senator,_** **" Rolo sneers, "save it for someone who cares."**

 **"You're an ass," Carol informs him. Then she gestures at Glen. "I hate the damn war, not** ** _him._** **"**

 ** _Thank you, Carol._**

 **Rolo grabs the handles of the chair and spins him, and that's when Glen sees the girl coming toward them up Broadway, a girl with long, messy blonde hair and nice legs, wearing a green dress so short it might be illegal.**

 **Their eyes meet, and she stops dead, her face going from shocked to pissed in a heartbeat as she kicks off her heels and starts to run at them barefooted.**

 **"Stop!" she screams, then, reaching them, she shoves Rolo so hard he falls on his ass.**

 **Sarah glares at her. "Draper? What the hell!"**

 **"Yeah, tease girl," Rolo says angrily as he gets up, "why you got ol' Baby Killer's back, huh?"**

 **Sally, with Carol standing defiantly beside her, grips the handles of the chair and practically spits the words at the others.**

" **Don't you assholes know who this is?"**

 **No one responds, so for the first time since they'd surrounded him, Glen decides to speak up.**

" **Yeah, don't you assholes know who I am?"**

 **Rolo goes pale and takes a step back.**

" **Bishop? Holy shit, man! I heard you deserted the movement, but I didn't believe it."**

 **Carol puts a hand on Glen's arm. "Welcome home," she says softly, her eyes never leaving her former friends. "And as for you three, I'm ashamed to even know you, and sorry for what just happened here."**

" **Speak for yourself, cunt," Rolo mutters, and Carol's fingers tighten on Glen's arm.**

" ** _What_** **did you call me?" she asks, her eyes flashing but her voice much too calm.**

" **You heard me," Rolo says, and Carol slaps his face.**

 ** _Twice._**

 **Then she glares at Sarah and Mandy, sounding more like the Tennessee mountain girl she is than the refined New Yorker her parents want her to be.**

" **Y'all want some, too?"**

 **Both girls shake their heads, so Carol turns to Sally.**

 **"I'd hang with you for your birthday, but you and Bishop got some catching up to do, and I'm stuck meeting my mom for lunch."**

 **Sally's brows go up. "Stuck? I thought you liked eating lunch with her."**

 **"I do, but Robert's meeting us afterwards, and they've been sparring again." She rolls her eyes. "I just** _ **love**_ **playing referee." Then she grins. "I'll call you tomorrow with the blow-by-blow."**

 **"Okay," Sally says. "And good luck."**

 **The two girls hug, then Carol pecks Glen on the cheek and strolls off** _ **.**_

 **Chapter 16: Sally**

 **My Happy, Sad Heart**

 **As Carol walks away, I glare at Sarah.**

 **"You're lucky I don't go to Miss Porter's anymore."**

 **"Oh, am I?** _ **You**_ **'** _ **re**_ **lucky I haven't fucked your father yet."**

 **My fists tighten on the handles of Glen's wheelchair, and it's too bad he's actually sitting in it right then, or I'd be running the dumb bitch down.**

 **Rolo stares at Glen, then turns his ugly eyes on me.**

" **I don't know what this asshole ever saw in you," he says, "but what you got just ain't that special."**

" **You wanted some," I shoot back, looking him over scornfully. "But what** ** _you_** **got just isn't worth a girl's time."**

 **Then I look at Sarah. "And you, Tinkerbell, what's with the hair? You look like a boy with tits."**

" **Fuck you, Draper," she hisses, her eyes murderous.**

" **You'd need Rolo's dick," I say sweetly. "If you could find it."**

 **And without another word to any of them, I turn Glen's chair around and wheel him down Broadway.**

 **Thankfully, they don't follow.**

 **Chapter 17: Glen**

 **Just Killing Time**

 **He listens to her chatter as she pushes him up one street and down another, not really paying attention. Finally he looks back at her.**

 **"Sally, has it even occurred to you that maybe I had somewhere** ** _important_** **to be today?"**

 **"Actually, no." She tugs at a lock of his hair. "Unless maybe you were going to a barber."**

 **"I like my hair long."**

 **"Okay, fine," she replies. "But at least let me wash it for you."**

 **This is new, she'd never been that kind of friend, and to cover his sudden nervousness he grumps at her.**

 **"Anything** ** _else_** **I can do for you, my lady?"**

 **"Yeah," she retorts, unperturbed by his sarcastic tone. "Lose the damn beard."**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 18: Sally**

 **Facing Mario**

 **I know Glen's getting impatient with me as I roll him around Manhattan, but I do have a destination in mind. And now, as we reach Fulton Street, I see it.**

 **Mario's Deli.**

 **I stop pushing and turn the chair to face the small, cozy restaurant.**

 **"Hungry?"**

 **"I'm starving," he says, "but we can't eat here." And the bitter smile I get from him bothers me. I've never seen that look on his face before.**

 **"Why not? His food is better than Katz's."**

 **"I wouldn't know. The man won't let me try any of it." He sighs. "Said if I ever came back he'd call the cops."**

 **I stare at him. "Wait, _Mario_ said that?"**

 **He looks at me like I'm dense. "I didn't ask his name, Sally. But yeah, he acted like he owned the place."**

 **"Why'd he bar you?"**

 **"Same reason Rolo and company were giving me shit. The uniform offends."**

 **Hearing this hurts, because I _know_ Mario, he and Henry have been friends for years. The anger surges in me, and I put a hand on Glen's shoulder. **

**"Wait here."**

 **And with that I jerk open the door of the deli and step inside.**

 **Mario smiles when he sees me approaching the counter, then frowns at my short dress and bare feet.**

 **"Ah, Sally, good to see you again. But where are your shoes? And the rest of that pretty dress?"**

 **"Long story on the shoes, and I like my dress just fine. Can I still get served?"**

 **"Of course." He winks at me. "Anything you want."**

 **I lean my arms on the counter and look right into his eyes. "I hope that goes for my friend out there, too."**

 **When Mario sees Glen out on the sidewalk waiting, his face goes red. "I have told that boy he is not welcome here."**

 **"Why?"**

 **"I have my reasons."**

 **"You're ashamed to tell me, aren't you? You damn coward!" My voice is rising like my temper, and his customers turn to stare at us.**

 **"Sally, please lower your voice," he says, almost begging.**

 **"What for, Mario? You afraid to lose business? Well, fuck that. That _boy_ out there lost a helluva lot more than you ever will, and for what? So he can come home and get spit on and cussed at and ridiculed, while all you fat, lazy pricks watch the stupid war on T.V."**

 **We stare at each other, and apparently my voice had risen even more, because several of his customers cheer.**

 **"You tell 'im, girlie!" one guy with a hard hat says, and a lady at the counter near us says, "Aw, have a heart, Mario. Let the kids have a table."**

 **Mario looks around, sees mostly hostile faces looking back at him, and sighs.**

 **"Well," he says reluctantly, "I suppose I can find you a table by the kitchen..." He sees my look and clears his throat. "There will be more room for the wheelchair back there."**

 **This is what I'd wanted all along, but now I shake my head. "Don't bother. Just gimme a couple patty melts to go, and I'll leave you alone." I take a ragged breath. "But from now on, Mario, don't look for me with Henry, 'cause you just blew it with me."**

 **A few awkward minutes later he brings my order, with fries added, and refuses to take any money from me.**

 **"I am sorry this happened, Sally. Please give Henry my regards, and I hope someday you will change your mind."**

 **Right then the construction worker and his buddy walk past on their way to the register, and the buddy says, "Y'know, Bill, I hear Katz's has pretty decent food."**

 **I look at Mario and I wonder why he's sorry.**

 ** _For Glen, or because I'd shamed him? And does it even matter?_**

 **"I always liked you," I tell him, fighting back tears and losing. Then I turn and head for the door as mostly everyone else in the place stands and claps for me.**

 ** _It's nice of them, and it almost helps._**

 **So anyway, I come out of the deli and the first thing Mr. Grumpy says to me is, "Took your pretty ass long enough."**

 **"I love you too, Bishop." I drop the greasy brown bag with our food into his lap. "Now let's go."**

 **He looks disappointed. "We're not eating here?"**

 **"Why would you want to?"**

 **He grins. "Because you fought so valiantly for me that his customers gave you a standing ovation."**

 **I feel myself blush. "Whatever. He was only gonna give us a table 'cause he knew he was looking like a jerk." I grab the handles of his chair and head us back the way we'd come.**

 **"So where we going, if not here? The shelter?"**

 **"Not yet, although I do wanna see it. I thought we'd eat at this little park I saw on Broadway."**

 **"Zucotti?"**

 **"Gesundheit."**

 **Another grin, which is quite attractive on him.**

 **"No, Sally, Zucotti is the name of that park." Then he says, "My neck hurts from looking at you."**

 **"You're no prize, either. And such a flatterer!"**

 **But I know what he means, so from then on he rolls himself along while I pad along beside him, the sidewalk warm under my feet.**

 **My still _bare_ feet, which he is now staring at.**

 **I stop and put my hands on my hips.**

 **"You got a problem with my naked feet, Bishop? Or maybe a fetish I don't know about?"**

 **Now I've embarrassed him. "Neither of those, I just remembered you lost your shoes coming to my rescue. Your feet must be killing you."**

 **"Not at all," I say, touched by his concern. "The stupid heels hurt worse."**

 **And wouldn't you know, when we get back to where I'd ditched 'em, they're gone.**

 **Zucotti Park**

 **I find us a nice bench in the park, one with a view of the Trade Center towers, and sit down carefully to avoid flashing my undies at any perverts jogging by.**

 **"I was looking forward to the view," _my_ pervert says from his wheelchair, and I grin at him.**

 **"We're here to eat, so relax."**

 **Then, realizing what I just said, I blush. And Glen tries really hard not to laugh.**

 **When he's composed himself, I take our wax-papered food from its sack and set it next to me, then tear the paper bag so it'll lay flat on his lap like a greasy brown napkin.**

 **I take my time, making sure my fingers brush against his thighs as I position it just so.**

 ** _Maybe Blanca was right about me after all._**

 **Chapter 19: Glen**

 **Lunch With a Friend**

 **They eat mostly in silence.**

 **He watches her, liking the casual way she rests one of her bare feet on the footrest of his chair, the right-side one _he'll_ never use.**

 **Her legs are tanned, longer than he remembers, and her dress shows them off to full effect.**

 **"I like your dress," he tells her suddenly, reaching out to finger the rawhide drawstring holding it partially closed in front.**

 **She goes perfectly still, her brown eyes gazing unblinking into his.**

 **"My dress, or what's under it?"**

 **"Both," he says, undoing the knot and pulling the rawhide loose.**

 **The dress gaps open, more than enough for him to confirm she's got nothing on under it.**

 **He stares at her, at those small, perfect tits of hers, and what amazes him is, she makes no move to cover herself.**

 **There's a boldness in her now, both in her appearance and her attitude, and while he likes it, he wonders what caused it.**

 **"Well?" she says, waiting for his verdict.**

 **In answer, he puts a hand on her thigh and his lips on hers.**

 **And lunch is, for the moment, forgotten.**

 **Chapter 20: Sally**

 **Am I Falling?**

 **"They are so majestic," I say much later, after the kiss is over and our food is gone. Glen has managed to transfer himself to the bench, sitting close on my right side, his hand stroking my thigh.**

 **"These?" he asks, gesturing at my breasts and moving in for another smooch.**

 ** _Well, hell. Why not._**

 **This kiss is longer, more urgent, and he's got the one hand inching higher on my leg and the other one making a total mess of my hair.**

 **What saves me is the old guy walking his dog, who yells "Get a room!" at us.**

 **I move Glen's hand to a less-dangerous spot on my thigh, then grab a brush from my purse and drag it through my hair.**

 **Glen, he of the one-track mind, stares down my dress.**

 **"I meant the Towers before," I inform him, once my hair is only half trashed and my breath allows me to speak again.**

 **Glen tears his eyes away from my chest and looks across Broadway at the WTC complex.**

 **"Yes Sally, they are grand buildings. But did you know how many thousands of homes and businesses were destroyed to erect the majesty you spoke of?"**

 ** _I'd like to erect your majesty,_ I think to myself, then out loud I say, "Yeah, I knew. Henry was on some committee that helped people relocate." I fight down my temper. "People like Mario."**

 **I'm looking at those towers, thinking how beautiful they are, and how so many people suffered to see them built. Then this sudden feeling of doom comes over me and I shudder.**

 **Glen notices. "Are you cold, Sally?"**

 **"No, I'm fine."**

 **"You sure? You can use my jacket if you want." He starts to remove it, but I stop him.**

 **"I'm not cold, okay? It's just, I dunno, this awful feeling just came over me."**

 **He says something to comfort me, then helps me gather our trash. Then I help him back into his chair and we head toward Fulton again.**

 **Turns out Vietnam Refuge – the shelter where Glen is staying - is only a block from Mario's, which makes me happy in a sick, twisted sort of way.**

 **Chapter 21: Glen**

 **Fair Warning**

 **As he rolls toward Fulton, with Sally walking next to him, Glen marvels to himself at her energy. Had he walked barefooted as long as she had today, his feet – back when he had two of them – would have been screaming at him.**

 **And yet, here she is, humming happily beside him, swinging her purse, and suddenly he stops the chair.**

 **"Sally."**

 **She takes another step before stopping, and looks back at him in concern.**

 **"What's the matter?"**

 **"Nothing. But you need to know, where we're going is not a happy place, there are guys there worse off than me, and I don't want you hurt by what you'll see."**

 **She shakes back her hair and glares at him.**

 **"Glen, listen to me. I am heartsick and furious over what happened to you over there, and over all the shit you must have seen. But that doesn't mean I need you to protect me from any of it. I'm a big girl." Then, narrowing her eyes at him, she says, "Part of me is still furious with _you_ , too."**

 **"I don't understand."**

 **"Then let me explain it to you. I got over that your dumb ass enlisted, 'cause you sounded so goddamn sincere in my foyer that day that I believed you."**

 **She waits for him to reply, but he doesn't, so again she continues.**

 **"Then, just when I finally convinced myself how _noble_ you were, I found out you lied to me."**

 **He sighs in resignation. "How'd you find out? My stepdad?"**

 **"I don't talk to him. Your mom let it slip by accident."**

 **She goes quiet then and stares down at her toes, and he feels like a shit for making her cry.**

 **"Sally?"**

 **She sniffles and wipes at her eyes. "What?"**

 **"I'm sorry."**

 **"I forgive you. And _I'm_ sorry for yelling at you again."**

 **"Again?"**

 **"Yeah, remember? I yelled at you that same day, when you and what's-her-name wanted me to go to Playland with you." She sighs. "Cost me a chance to say goodbye."**

 **"I'd forgotten that," he lies, well aware that he'd gone back to see Betty, and aware too that had Sally come downstairs and busted them, she'd have probably shot him herself and saved the Viet Cong the trouble.**

 **"So how's Betty?" he asks, and Sally freezes in place.**

 **"Oh, my God! Glen, I'm so sorry, I've been so happy with you today I completely forgot to tell you!" She squats on her heels in front of him, taking both his hands in hers.**

 **"Tell me what?"**

 **"My mom has lung cancer, her doctors gave her six months to live like seven months ago."**

 ** _Oh, God. Betty dying? That is so unfair._**

 **He says it aloud: "That is so unfair." And he wonders at his lack of grief. A year ago he would have been devastated by this news, but whatever he'd felt in his obsession for Betty is gone now, lying in some rice paddy over in 'Nam.**

 **What sorrow he feels now is for this girl in front of him clutching his hands so desperately, and he pulls her against him and lets her sob out her anguish.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 22: Sally**

 **Where Glen Stays**

 **Okay, so by the time we get to the shelter I'm an emotional wreck, and it shows.**

 **Glen, the little shit, just sits there grinning at me.**

 **"Come on, Sally. Everyone will love you."**

 **I eye him suspiciously. "Everyone?"**

 **"My fellow refugees and Mr. Wagner."**

 **"Mr. Wagner?"**

 ** _Must be an inner parrot in there somewhere, keeping my slut company._**

 **"The man who runs the place," Glen says helpfully.**

 **"Glen, no! I can't go in there like this!"**

 **"Why not?" He's still grinning.**

 **"I'll tell you why not! My hair, my feet, and my tits. And my face is probably all streaky from crying."**

 **"What's wrong with your tits?"**

 **"You lost my drawstring!"**

 **"No, I didn't. I threw it away. There's a difference." Then he turns serious, even taking my hand. "Give me your hairbrush."**

 **"What for?"**

 **"Just trust me," he says, so I do. And he proceeds to brush my hair for me, right there on the sidewalk.**

 **Not only is this the most romantic thing a boy has ever done for me – pretty sad, I know – but when he's done he kisses me breathless and says "There's more where that came from."**

 ** _Who is this boy?_**

 **At first glance the building looks like maybe it used to be a school, but it's hard to tell from outside. I roll Glen up the access ramp and inside, into a small entrance area. He points to our left. "Washrooms are over there, there's soap and paper towels."**

 **"Oh, thank you. Be right back."**

 **Once inside the ladies' room I wash my face, then the bottoms of my feet, then I stand at the mirror checking out how bad my breasts show.**

 ** _Note to self: Don't lean forward._**

 **Meeting Billy**

 **So I come out of the washroom, and at first there's no sign of Glen. Then I see a middle-aged black guy talking to two younger, bearded guys in wheelchairs.**

 **I'm pretty sure one of _them_ is Glen.**

 **They're in a rec room full of other vets, and as I head their way, the one who _isn't_ Glen starts yelling and hitting himself in the head really hard.**

 **Nobody else seems to know what to do, and I don't either, but that never stopped me before so I go over and crouch in front of his chair and grab his hands to keep them still.**

 **He stops yelling and eyes me warily. "Who're you?"**

 **"I'm Sally. What's _your_ name?"**

 **"Billy."**

 **"Nice to meet you, Billy."**

 **"Same here, Miss. But this place is for soldiers. You ain't a soldier."**

 **I grin at him, still holding his hands. "Nope, I'm not a soldier, just a girl. They won't let girls fight."**

 **"Too bad," he says, returning my grin. "You'd probably kick some VC ass." Then he frowns. "They'd likely make you a nurse, like my sister."**

 **"Your sister, huh? What's her name?"**

 **"Jessica. But she's dead," he says, and my heart goes still. "Hospital she was working in got blown to pieces."**

 ** _Oh, hell. I'd be psycho, too._**

 **"Billy, I am so sorry, really I am."**

 **The tears come unbidden, and Billy, bless him, says gently, "Don't cry, Sally. She didn't suffer, and she's with God now."**

 ** _I wish I was, too. I'd have some very rude words for Him._**

 **"That's right, she is." I wipe at my stupid tears. "But if she was here, I bet she'd be sad to see you hurting yourself."**

 **"Yes she would," he admits, looking sad himself.**

 **"And I bet Glen and Mr. Wagner and the rest of your friends are sad, too."**

 **"They're my _brothers_ ," he says.**

 ** _Sniffle._**

 **"For sure. And they don't want you hurting yourself either." I glance around from one solemn face to another. "Do you, guys?"**

 **"No ma'am," one says, and the others echo that or simply shake their heads.**

 **"See, Billy? None of us wants to see you suffer anymore."**

 **He looks ready to cry. "That go for you too, Sally?"**

 **"It goes double for me," I say, looking into his gray eyes. Then I give him a nice hug and straighten up.**

 **"Okay then," I say to the room at large. "Who wants to kick my butt at rummy?"**

 **Mr. Wagner – he's the black guy - finds the deck of cards, and apparently they _all_ want to kick my butt, because I don't win a single game.**

 **Marching to My Own Drum - Again **

**"Hello?" Betty's voice is raspy, then she starts coughing.**

 **When she's done hacking in my ear I say, "Mom, you gotta put down the cigarette. Those things'll kill you."**

 ** _I am a brat._**

 **"Sally Beth Draper! That's not funny. And where the hell are you, anyway?"**

 **"I'm in the city. Didn't you see my note?"**

 **"Where'd you leave it?"**

 **"On the wall by the phone. See it?"**

 **"Now I do. Does Henry know where you are?"**

 **"Yeah, he drove me in." I pause, then tell her. "Mom, I saw Glen."**

 **She actually squeals. "You did? Where? Oh, my God!"**

 ** _Down, Betty. I don't think he wants to fuck you anymore._**

 **"Relax, will you? I ran into him in Manhattan. In a wheelchair."**

 **"What were you doing in a wheelchair?"**

 ** _Okay, whatever Mom's on for pain, I want some._**

 **"Not me, Mom. Glen."**

 **"Oh, no! What happened to him?"**

 **"The _war_ happened to him, Mother. The same war you were so proud of him for joining."**

 **She ignores that. "Why is he in a wheelchair?"**

 **Logical for her to ask, but since it's Betty I get sarcastic with her. "I'm not sure, but maybe the whole 'right-leg-blown-off-below-the-knee' thing had something to do with it."**

 **She can't see my tears, so my words sound cold. After a few seconds of neither of us talking, she says, "Sally, I'm sorry."**

 **"Me too, Mom." I wipe at my eyes, which seems to be my new favorite pastime. "And I didn't mean to sound so cruel."**

 **"I know you didn't," Mom says, and I think she's crying too. "Where are you now?"**

 **"At this place called Vietnam Refuge. It's where Glen and a bunch of other wounded vets are staying." I pause again, remembering something she said once. "And you can call me Jane Fonda all you want, but what happened to these guys sucks. It's fucking sad."**

 **Her voice smirks at me. "So I assume you'll be on the first train home?"**

 ** _She thinks I'm pathetic like her._**

 **My hand clenches around the phone. "Actually, Mom _,_ I'm not catching a train at all."**

 **"What does that mean?"**

 **"It means I'm staying in the city overnight. Here. With my friend."**

 **I can hear Mom's shock in her silence. Then she says, "You're not going to _sleep_ with him, are you?"**

 **"Mom, I never did before, even though sometimes I wanted to, so I'm probably not gonna start now."**

 **An _hour_ from now might be a different story, but I don't say that out loud.**

 **Instead I say goodbye and hang up.**

 **Mr. Wagner is waiting when I come out of his office, and I wonder how much he heard.**

 **"Thanks for letting me use your phone," I say.**

 **"Anytime," he says back, then gives me a hopeful look. "Sally, please, if you have a minute, there's something I'd like to discuss with you."**

 **"Okay, sure."**

 **So we head back into his office, and what does he do? He offers me a job.**

 **"Sally, I was very impressed by the way you handled Billy earlier, and the others all seem to like you, so I think you'd be perfect for a new part-time position I'm looking to fill."**

 **"Me? What would I be doing?"**

 **He grins. "You'd be my Recreation Coordinator, which is a fancy way of saying I want you to keep them amused when I can't."**

 ** _Okay, I admit it. The idea excites me._**

 **"I'd love to, Mr. Wagner, but I'm not out of school for the summer yet, and I'm needed at home a lot."**

 **"That's okay," he says. "I only need you during the day on Saturdays."**

 **Our housekeeper Loretta comes in on Saturdays, so I can probably do this.**

 **"When can I start?"**

 **"How about a week from today, 8 a.m. on the dot?"**

 **I grin. "Too early a dot for me. I'll see you around nine or so, whenever Henry can drop me off."**

 **"Who's Henry?"**

 **"My stepdad, Henry Francis. He has an office here in the city, so transportation won't be a problem."**

 **"Okay, then," he says, "I'll draw up a contract. Did you have a salary range in mind?"**

 ** _Salary range? I'd do what he's asking for free._**

 **"Whatever you think is fair."**

 **"We'll work everything out next week." He pauses, taking in my revealing dress and bare feet. "You may dress as you like, but I'd recommend jeans and sneakers for comfort."**

 **I give him my wickedest smile. "No shirt?"**

 **He smiles back just as wickedly. "Our residents would certainly approve, but if the state found out they'd pull my funding."**

 **He stands, so I do too, and we shake hands.**

 **"I'll have someone show you to Glen's quarters," he says.**

 **"Thank you," I reply sincerely, then ask, "Is there a curfew for visitors? I told my mom I was staying over."**

 **He winks at me. "We boot _visitors_ at 10 p.m., but since I don't have a rule regarding new employees, you're on your own."**

 ** _I like this man._**

 ** _Someone_ ends up being Billy, and he smiles when he sees me.**

 **"Hiya, Sally! Where you be needin' to go?"**

 **"Glen Bishop's room, if you would."**

 **"I would indeed," he says, doffing an imaginary cap. "Would milady care to roll me?"**

 ** _Billy, you sly fox, you._**

 **"I'd be honored," I reply, not sure how he meant his comment, and flushing a bit 'cause I meant mine both ways.**

 **At Glen's room I say goodbye to Billy with a kiss on the cheek and a hug, and knock softly on the door.**

 **"If that's Sally, you may enter," he calls out, so I do.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 23: Sally and Glen**

 **Cold Truths on a Warm Night**

 **The humidity in his room hits her like a wave.**

 **"Jesus, Bishop, it's like a sauna in here." She nods at the silent window air conditioner. "That thing broken?"**

 **"No, just off. I like to sweat."**

 **"You're insane," she tells him, walking over to the unit and cranking it to _High._**

 ** _And I've got better ways to make you sweat._**

 **The thought sends a shiver through her, and her nipples go hard under her dress.**

 **She turns to survey his quarters, and Glen wonders at the sudden flush on her cheeks.**

 **"Nice," she says, taking in the small kitchenette, the large living area with a regular bed, a dresser, a desk, and a color TV on a stand. On the nightstand next to his bed, an alarm clock and a radio.**

 **"What were you expecting?"**

 **She shrugs. "A cot, a toilet, and maybe a hot plate. Shittier carpeting."**

 **He watches Sally pad to his open closet, where she pulls off her dress and carefully hangs it, then – naked save for her red silk panties – slips into one of his blue dress shirts and ties it off just below her breasts.**

 **Only then does she turn her full attention to Glen, who is himself wearing only camouflage boxers.**

 ** _Flat belly, muscles in all the right places, broader shoulders than she remembers._**

 ** _But, oh God, his poor legs._**

 **The right one has some sort of protective cup strapped over his stump, the left one is whole but withered from lack of use.**

 **"Those goddamn bastards," she whispers, hoping with all her heart that he'd wasted a few of them.**

 ** _And fuck Jane Fonda if she doesn't like it._**

 **Glen sees the emotions on her face, the unshed tears in her eyes, and her compassion angers him.**

 **"Not a pretty sight, is it?" he says, his voice harsh.**

 **"No it isn't," she answers, her eyes widening just a bit at his tone. "And being mad at _me_ won't make it any prettier."**

 **"Sorry," he mutters.**

 **"You sure are," she agrees, looking around. "Got any booze?"**

 **He gestures toward the kitchenette. "Vodka in the fridge. OJ too."**

 **"That'll work." She goes to the fridge, gets out the vodka and the juice, then grabs two red plastic cups off the counter.**

 **While she's doing that, Glen awkwardly shifts himself from the chair onto his bed, bumping his stump in the process.**

 **And even with the protective cup, that _hurts._**

 **"Oh, son of a fuckin' bitch!" he cries out, and Sally hurries over, dumping everything on his now-empty chair.**

 **"Are you okay? What happened?"**

 **"I bumped my leg, but I'm fine."**

 **"Like hell," she says, pouring vodka into each cup and ignoring the OJ. Then she joins him on the bed, sitting with one foot tucked under her and the other one pressed comfortably against his thigh.**

 **"Your shirt came undone," he informs her, accepting his drink and staring at her half-exposed tits.**

 **"Not my shirt, and unless you want me to fix it, I'd say shut up and enjoy the view."**

 ** _Who is this wanton girl,_ she wonders, _sitting here on Glen's bed half-nude? And why is her drink still full?_**

 **She downs her vodka and shudders.**

 **"Your turn," she says, refilling her cup even as Glen takes just a small sip from his.**

 **He starts playing with her toes.**

 **"Nice bichiya," he says.**

 **"Watch what you call me," she murmurs huskily, closing her eyes as he starts kissing her.**

 **His hand slides slowly up her leg to her inner thigh, and she feels her breath quicken.**

 **Then he stops, and her eyes open.**

 **"Don't stop there," she says, as her own hand covers his and moves it between her legs.**

 **"Sally, stop that!" he snaps, jerking his hand away as if touching her repulses him.**

 **She looks hurt. "Why should I stop? I thought you _liked_ touching me."**

 **"I do. I'm just not in the mood now."**

 **"Coulda fooled me," Sally says, flicking a finger against the bulge in his shorts.**

 **Even that brief touch makes him shudder, and in a crueler voice than he intended he says, "That has nothing to do with you."**

 **Stung by his sudden rejection, she lashes out bitterly.**

 **"It _never_ does, 'cause you'd rather stick it in Betty than in me." **

**He reacts without thinking, backhanding her so hard she almost falls off the bed.**

 **She stares at him, hurt turning swiftly to anger, and slaps him back.**

 **He looks stunned. "You'd slap a cripple?"**

 **Her words are blunt. "You're missing a leg. Your hand seems to work just fine."**

 **His slap has caused her hair to fall partially across her face like a veil, and the one eye he can see glitters coldly as she continues.**

 **"You are my oldest friend, damn you, and like Bobby said to me once, one of my only ones. I've let you kiss me, I've let you touch me in places no other boy ever has, and I even sucked your stupid little dick for you that time in the rain."**

 **He starts to reply, but she puts a finger to his lips and shushes him.**

 **"No, don't talk now, just listen. We've shared a lot, but you don't get to hit me again. Not ever."**

 **And with that, she jumps up, grabs her purse, and heads for the bathroom.**

 **"My dick may be stupid, but it's not little," he calls out, trying to be funny, but she just flashes a middle finger at him over her shoulder and doesn't look back.**

 **The bathroom door slams.**

 **Chapter 24: Sally**

 **Coming Clean**

 **I stand at his bathroom sink, shaking mad, hardly recognizing the wide-eyed girl staring back at me from the mirror.**

 ** _I shouldn't be here. Not like this, and not with him the way he is now._**

 **"I didn't ask for this," I tell my reflection, but there's this little voice in my head saying _Yeah, you sort of did._**

 **I hate that little voice, I really do.**

 **I strip naked – not hard to do since I'm halfway there already – and take a hot shower.**

 **A _long_ hot shower, perched on the special chair they installed for him, not so mad anymore but still horny.**

 ** _And yeah, curing that is partly why it's such a long shower._**

 **Time to Cut This Short **

**Back out in his room a bit later I slip back into my dress and hang his shirt where I'd found it. Then I pad over to where Glen lies snoring on his bed.**

 **I look down at him, part of me wanting to strangle him, another part wanting to stretch out next to him and ravish him in his sleep.**

 **The _sane_ part of me gets the hell out of there and calls a cab from the pay phone in the hall.**

 **The Other Cheek**

 **Betty's meds must not be working, because when I let myself in at 3 a.m. and enter the kitchen she's there at the table.**

 ** _Smoking_.**

 **"Hey, Mom."**

 **"Hey."**

 **She watches me pour a cup of coffee and stir in my usual overdose of powdered cream and sugar.**

 **"Sally, I wish you wouldn't drink so much coffee," she says, puffing her Marlboro.**

 **"Be glad it's not booze," I tell her. "And you're still smoking, so whatever."**

 **She ignores that and looks down at my bare feet. "What happened to your shoes?"**

 **"They got lost."**

 **"How?"**

 **"It's a long story, Mom."**

 **She puffs her cigarette again and blows the smoke at me. "We've got time."**

 **I sigh heavily. "When I first saw Glen, some kids were hassling him. I ditched the shoes so I could get there quicker. When I went back for them they were gone."**

 **Betty eyes the gaping front of my dress, but doesn't say anything. Then she notices my face.**

 **"Who slapped you? Glen?"**

 **I shrug and say nothing.**

 **"Damnit, Sally, answer me!"**

 **"Yeah, it was him. It's why I came home early."**

 **"But why'd he strike you?" Her eyes narrow. "Was he forcing himself on you?"**

 **"Actually, Mom, it was quite the opposite."**

 **"Meaning?"**

 ** _I am so bored with this conversation._**

 **"Meaning I wanted to fuck and he didn't."**

 **"Maybe," Betty mutters, "you're just too forward for him."**

 **"Or maybe he just didn't want what I was offering," I say, my temper making me reckless. "He's always preferred the older, more broken-in version of me."**

 **Betty's eyes widen, and then all of a sudden my other cheek hurts, too.**

 ** _And no, I don't need that little voice to tell me I'd asked for that one._**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 25: Sally**

 **Why Henry's Still Cool**

 **The following Saturday I come downstairs in a red blouse with the tails out, black jeans, and sandals, and Henry nods in approval.**

 **"You look nice," he tells me, and after a quick cup of coffee we're off.**

 **When Henry drops me off at the shelter with a promise to pick me up at five, he kisses my cheek and says, "I'm proud of you, Sally."**

 **"It's no big deal," I reply, but him saying that is, so I exit his car quickly and hope he didn't notice my sudden tears.**

 **Why Betty Still Isn't**

 **Betty's encouraging words as we left this morning were "I give it two weeks," so whatever.**

 **What Glen Did and Why He's Gone**

 **As I enter the rec room at a little before nine Mr. Wagner has all the men assembled.**

 **"Hi, guys!" I greet them, getting a chorus of "Hi, Sally!" in return.**

 **And one wolf whistle from some guy in back.**

 **"Gentlemen," Mr. Wagner says, beaming at me, "meet your new Recreation Coordinator."**

 **They clap and cheer, and Billy calls out, "Way to go, Sally!"**

 **It's then I notice his face is all bruised, and that Glen is not present, and my heart sinks at the implication.**

 **"Billy, what happened to your face?"**

 **"Glen Bishop did that to him," Mr. Wagner says angrily, and – rotten friend that I am – I feel no surprise at this.**

 ** _Only anger._**

 **"Where is he?"**

 **"Mr. Bishop is no longer a resident at this facility."**

 **My eyebrows go up. "No second chances in this place, huh?"**

 **Mr. Wagner sighs. "That was his second chance. He'd struck his former girlfriend in his room during a sexual encounter. Bloodied her nose, in fact."**

 ** _Paula. I remember her name now. And I am so glad that Glen fell asleep during my shower, or we'd have killed each other._**

 **"This happened when?" I ask, because for some reason it matters to me.**

 **"Several days after you ran into him." He pauses, eyeing me with a strange look. "Makes her his second victim, doesn't it?"**

 **I gape at him. "He told you?"**

 **"Not exactly. The next morning I saw him without you, he said you were rude to him and he made you leave in the middle of the night."**

 ** _Bishop, you lying bastard._**

 **I grit my teeth. "Like hell. I did say something rude to him, and we even exchanged slaps, but he dozed off while I was in the shower. It was my idea to leave."**

 **Mr. Wagner nods, like he suspected as much. "Can I assume he struck you first?"**

 **"Yeah, after what I said to him." I pause, feeling myself blush. "Please don't ask me for details."**

 **"I wouldn't dream of it," he says, smiling at me, "but I bet it would make quite a story."**

 **No Such Thing as Petty Cash**

 **Minimum wage here in New York is $1.65 an hour, which I only mention because that's what I figured my pay was gonna be, but Mr. Wagner has other ideas.**

 **He's got me on the books as a volunteer because whoever decides these things wouldn't approve a salary for me.**

 **"That's okay," I say. "I'll still do it."**

 **"But not for free. I shall pay you $40 a week out of petty cash."**

 **My jaw drops as I do the math.**

 **That's like five bucks an hour to hang out with a bunch of overgrown adolescents who've been through hell and already view me like a little sister.**

 **I almost feel guilty.**

 **Close Shaves**

 **Carol shows up at ten, just like we'd agreed, and I introduce her to Mr. Wagner.**

 **"Nice to meet you, Carol," he says. "Sally tells me you cut hair."**

 **"Yes, sir." She holds up the black leather case that has all her combs, scissors, and trimmers in it.**

 **She's wearing flats and a blue dress that hangs to her knees, and her hair is tied back in a ponytail.**

 **The three of us walk to the rec room, where the vets are all still gathered, playing cards or watching cartoons on the one T.V.**

 **The more ambitious ones are doing both.**

 **Carol surveys the room, hands on hips, and shoots me a quick grin before addressing them.**

 **"Hey! Y'all! Listen up!"**

 **Twenty-nine heads swivel to gape at her.**

 **"I'm Carol, and I'm here to make you guys presentable. I hope y'all used lots of shampoo this morning."**

 **There's a chorus of "Yes, ma'am's," and one bald, clean-shaven guy who grins and asks, "What about me? You gonna make me look nice, too?"**

 **She grins back. "Shine that dome, buddy, 'cause when I'm done scalping these Neanderthals you get your pick of the prettiest hair!"**

 **And just like that, she's got them, all except for this older black guy in a wheelchair who never participates in anything and seems to mistrust me.**

 **"What we gotta be _presentable_ for?" he wants to know.**

 **"Well, hell, _someone's_ gotta escort Sally and me to the next VFW dance."**

 **He snorts derisively. "Look around you, girl. Ain't no dancin' goin' on with this bunch."**

 **"Aw, give it a rest, Street," Billy yells, but Carol's eyes narrow and she grabs my hand.**

 **She marches us up to Street, lets go of my hand, and sits herself on his lap.**

 **"Dance us," she tells me, one arm around Street's neck and her eyes never leaving his.**

 **So I do, maneuvering his chair in short turns and stops, then spinning them in a half-circle, then reversing the whole thing as we move around the room.**

 **By now Street is grinning ear-to-ear, and of course all the other wheelchair jockeys want a turn, so Carol and I alternate being 'partners' from one willing lap to the next.**

 ** _Our parents would disown us, but damn, that was fun._**

 **So anyway, by four o'clock everyone who needed to be is shaved and shorn, and Vietnam Refuge has a new Assistant Recreation Coordinator, who will – by mutual agreement - split my 'salary' with me each week.**

 **With Carol in Rye**

 **I clear it with Henry so Carol can come home with me and spend the night. And with my mom in bed early, and Henry taking the boys out for burgers, we're raiding the kitchen for some dinner.**

 **"Wanna split a frozen pizza?" I ask, taking one out of the freezer compartment.**

 **"Only if you bake it first."**

 ** _Ha, ha._**

 **When it's done baking we park ourselves on the floor in front of the T.V. to watch _El Dorado,_ a western with John Wayne and Robert Mitchum.**

 **And James Caan, who I think is cute.**

 **"Isn't Dean Martin in this?" Carol asks me at one point.**

 **I shake my head. "No. You're thinking of _Rio Bravo_."**

 **"Oh, okay. I remember that one now. Same basic plot, mostly different actors, and Ricky."**

 **"Exactly."**

 **Ricky Nelson we _both_ like.**

 **Then the rancher's daughter Joey appears, with her uncombed, wild hair, and Carol says, "You could play her."**

 **"I'd never shoot John Wayne, though."**

 **"You would if he shot your brother."**

 ** _She has me there._**


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 26: Sally**

 **March on Mario's**

 ** _June, 1971._**

 **The next week at the shelter I still have most of my birthday money, plus some of my pay, so I ask the guys where they'd like to go for lunch, on me.**

 **And they all say Mario's.**

 **"Man cussed me out just passin' by," Street says, and some of the others nod in agreement.**

 **Billy adds, "We should make the asshole serve us," and** ** _that_** **they** ** _all_** **agree on.**

 **Carol catches my eye, and I can tell from the gleam in hers that she's got a plan.**

 **And sure enough, she looks around at everyone and says, "I have a plan."**

 **So my part in Carol's scheme is to waltz into Mario's a half hour later and act like nothing ever happened that time with Glen.**

 **Most of the same customers are there, including the construction guys and the lady who'd been down the counter from me.**

 **"Hi, y'all!" I call out as I enter, and I swear I sound more like Carol every day.**

 **"Hi, Sally!" Mario says as I perch at the counter. "It is good to see you."**

 **"Same here," I reply, only lying a little.**

 **"What can I get you?"**

 **"Just coffee for now, thanks." I look around at the other diners. "Did you guys hear about the anti-war convention that just hit town? My friend told me they're staying at the Hilton."**

 **Nobody's heard this, mainly because I'm making it up, but one of Mario's customers says, "Hey Mario, you're a big anti-war guy, maybe they'll hear about this place."**

 ** _Thank you, Mister, for helping me shovel the bullshit._**

 **Mario's phone rings, and he answers on the second ring.**

 **"Mario's...Yes, Miss, we're open for lunch today...Oh, yes, one of my customers was just mentioning your group." He grabs a pencil and a menu pad and starts to write. "Fifteen meatball subs...Uh-huh, I can add cheese for just a quarter more...Okay, great...And you want fifteen Italian subs with hot peppers on six...The peppers are included, yes, ma'am. Will that be all for you today? Okay, wonderful. Please hold for your total." He totals the order and says, "That will be $105.62 including tax...May I have your name, please? Thank you, Miss Murphy, you can pick up your order in about forty-five minutes."**

 **As he hangs up with this huge smile on his face, the woman down the counter looks at me like she knows something's up, and when I wink at her she grins.**

 **"Hey, Mario," she says to him, "I'll have that pie after all, make it lemon meringue." She looks around at the others eating lunch. "And if anyone else wants dessert, it's on me." To me she says, "How 'bout you, sweetheart? You want something to eat while you wait?"**

 **"Sure. An order of fries would be cool. And thank you!"**

 **"You're welcome," she says, and now it's her winking at me. "I'm Viola, by the way."**

" **Sally."**

 **Mario, looking like he just died and went to heaven, sets my fries in front of me, and I drown 'em in ketchup and dig in.**

 **Nobody leaves, and I think they all suspect something.**

 ** _Poor Mario, I almost feel sorry for him._**

 **Carol saunters in about forty minutes later, nods at me, and approaches the counter.**

 **Mario smiles at her. "Can I help you, Miss?"**

" **Well, sure. I'm here to pick up my order."**

 **She's using her own voice, and Mario looks confused.**

" **But the woman on the phone, she sounded much more...shall I say...professional."**

" **Huh," Carol says. "That's weird, 'cause it was definitely me you talked to."**

 **He eyes her suspiciously. "You're Carol Murphy?"**

" **I sure am, with ID to prove it." She gestures at me. "Or ask Sally. She'll tell you."**

 **I grin. "She's Carol, all right."**

 **Carol gets that I'm teasing and sticks her tongue out at me.**

 **Mario looks from her to me, then shrugs. "I'll get your order," he says, and heads back into the kitchen.**

 **He returns with a box holding thirty sandwiches, which he sets on the counter.**

" **That'll be $105.62," he tells Carol, handing her the check.**

 **Carol looks embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry, but I can't pay for these, I'm just a poor college girl."**

 **Viola and the other diners are grinning now, and Mario's stricken look makes this whole charade worth it already.**

 ** _Wait'll he sees the punch line._**

" **I got this, Mario," I tell him, slapping six twenties on the counter. "Keep the change."**

 **He snatches the money like he's afraid I'll change my mind, and that's when Billy and Street and the others start gathering outside, all of them in uniform and most of them in wheelchairs.**

" **Oh, look!" Carol cries excitedly. "My conventioneers are here!"**

 **It takes a second, but now everyone gets what Carol and I did. And I can tell that everyone except Mario approves.**

 **Bill the construction guy approaches Carol. "Little lady, may I help you distribute those to your friends?"**

 **She smiles at him, her real smile, and gives him a curtsy. "I'd be obliged," she drawls.**

 **And then everyone wants to help, and as they pass me many of them stick money in my purse.**

" **Why should you pay it all?" one woman asks, putting a twenty in, and I just stand there with tears on my cheeks and a stupid grin on my face.**

 **Mario doesn't say a word, he just stares, and finally he and I are the only two left in the place while everyone else is outside chatting with Mr. Wagner and the vets.**

" **Sally," he says finally, "I don't know why you did this to me, but you are a special person with a big heart. A bigger heart than mine, alas." He points to the box. "There is one sandwich left in there, it must be yours."**

" **It is, and I have someone I'm gonna give it to. Can I have a brown bag to carry it in?"**

 **He gives me one, and in with the sandwich – a meatball sub, I think – I enclose a note for Glen that I jotted on a napkin.**

 ** _Now if I could just find him._**

 **When I come outside a minute later Carol comes up to me all happy and flushed. "Oh, Sally, wasn't this wonderful?" And then she hugs me and rushes off again.**

 ** _Carol, if you ever do run for Senator, I wanna be there to see it. But you should run in Tennessee._**

 **Next I find Viola and thank her, and she surprises me with a hug of her own.**

" **Sally, your friend Carol told me of her plans for the two of you, and while I admire you both for your ambition, I admire you even more for what you did here today." She hands me a business card. "Keep that, and if you ever need anything, promise me you'll call."**

" **I will," I say, reading her card out loud:** ** _'Viola Silverman, Entrepreneur.'_**

" **What does that mean in your case?" I ask as I slide the card into my pocket.**

 **She grins. "It means I own a bunch of shit that makes me lots of money."**

" **That is so cool." I meet her eyes. "I like you, Viola, and I hope we can get to know each other better."**

 **I never say stuff like that, especially to grown-ups, but it feels right saying it to her.**

 **Finding Glen**

 **I ask around, and Street says he heard Glen was panhandling over by Battery Park, so Carol and I head that way after we're done at the shelter.**

 **We find him easily enough, over on State Street with a large coffee can in his lap and a cardboard sign that reads,** ** _Homeless, Please Help._**

 **He's not in uniform, and his hair and beard have been washed and trimmed short.**

 **He grins when he sees us approach. "Evening, ladies! Care to help a poor homeless man with a few shillings?"**

" **I brought you food," I say shortly, dropping the brown bag in his lap next to the can. "Read my note before you eat it."**

" **Hi, Glen." Carol drops in a twenty, looking surprised at my tone. "Who cut your hair?"**

" **Paula."**

 **I'd promised myself not to get mad at him, to let my note convey my disgust, but now my fists clench.**

" **Was that before or after you punched her in the nose?"**

" **You know about that?" he asks, his words more angry than embarrassed, and this irks me even more.**

" **I know a lot of shit about you, Bishop, and it all sucks!"**

 **And having said that, I turn and walk away, so mad I don't realize right away that I'd left Carol behind.**

 **Chapter 27: Carol and Glen**

 **Meatballs With Attitude**

 **Carol, usually so composed, stares between him and her retreating friend, totally flustered.**

 **"Wow," she says. "What'd you do to piss** ** _her_** **off?"**

 **"Nothing I'd care to discuss with you," he mutters rudely, and Carol's eyes widen, then narrow in anger.**

 **"Have it your way," she snaps. "I'm sure Sally will tell me."**

 ** _But why hasn't she already told me?_**

 **She starts to hurry after Sally, but then stops and looks warily at him.**

 **"So where are you staying now?"**

 **He gestures vaguely toward the park. "I have a bench near the Korean War memorial. You should visit sometime."**

 **The derision in his voice hurts, she's never done a damn thing to him, and her voice goes cold.**

" **I don't like you anymore," she says, then turns away from him and jogs after Sally.**

 ** _Great,_** **Glen thinks as Carol takes off,** ** _now they're both mad at me._**

 **He opens the bag, the aroma from the meatballs making his stomach growl. Sally's note is there, neatly written on the back of a Mario's napkin:**

 ** _This sandwich is for you. I know that when you are not hitting women or beating up your fellow war buddies, you must get hungry. I still care about you, but you have hurt me, and hurt so many others, that I don't know what to say anymore._**

 ** _See you around._**

 ** _Sally_**

" **She doesn't understand," he says aloud, crumpling the note and tossing it aside. Then he unwraps the sub and takes a huge bite.**

 **Chapter 28: Sally**

 **Carol Pissed**

 **Carol catches up to me, out of breath and flushed. She grabs my arm so hard I have to stop walking and face her.**

 ** _Shit, she's mad at_** **me.**

 **"All right, Draper, spit it out! What aren't you telling me?"**

 **"What do you mean?" I ask, but deep down I know. I have put off telling her about any of Glen's violent outbursts, and now it's coming back to bite me.**

 **Carol's eyes have gone a darker shade of green than I've ever seen before, and while I have seen flashes of her temper, they were never aimed at me.**

 ** _Until now._**

 **She gives me a small shove. "Sally, don't play dumb with me! You know goddamn well what I mean. Glen punched Paula, whoever the hell** ** _she_** **is, and I know** ** _you_** **well enough to figure there's more shit you're not sharing with me."**

 **"There is," I say in a small voice.**

 **She puts her hands on her hips and stares at me, then I can almost see the truth hit.**

 **"Oh, my God! He hit you too, didn't he?"**

 **"He slapped me that night I was at the shelter."**

 **"How come?"**

 **"I said something rude."**

 **Through her teeth she says, "Tell me what you said, or God help me I'll slap you myself."**

 **So I tell her, managing to keep Mom's role in the drama to myself, and finish with his violence against Paula and Billy.**

 **We come to a bus stop bench and sit down. And while I can tell Carol's still put out with me, she's processing what I've told her.**

" **The war did something to him," she says finally. "Something besides his leg." She gives me a fierce look. "You need to stay away from him."**

 **She's right, so I promise I will. Then I flag down a cab and kidnap her back to Rye with me.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 29: Sally**

 **The Summer Waifs**

 ** _June 21, 1971._**

 **The first Monday after school lets out, I'm making myself bacon and cheese omelets for breakfast when the doorbell rings.**

 **When nobody else answers it, it rings again.**

 **"I'll get it," I yell out, then under my breath I say, "And if it's the sweepstakes people with an oversized fake check, none of you lazy-asses gets a dime."**

 **But it isn't Publisher's Clearing House, it's Meg and Mary standing on either side of a really large suitcase as Uncle William gives me a wave and backs his car out of our driveway.**

 ** _What the hell?_**

 **"Hi, Sally!" Mary says happily, but Meg sees my look and her face gets scared.**

 **"Didn't Uncle Henry tell you we were coming?"**

 **"Apparently not," I say, rolling my eyes as I usher them in. "What's going on?"**

 **"Mom and Dad are going on their second honeymoon, so Mary and me get to hang out here all summer."**

 **Now, I haven't seen my cousins since January, and I'm thrilled to see them now, but the fact that no one bothered to _mention_ their impending arrival ticks me off.**

 **Meg looks ready to cry, thinking I'm upset with them, so I hug her and Mary to me and assure them of all the fun we're going to have.**

 ** _After_ I kill my stepdad.**

 **Anyway, as it turns out Henry told Betty, who was supposed to tell me, but her meds made her loopy and she forgot.**

 ** _Thanks, Mom._**

 **Meg and Mary look good, their hair has grown a bit since winter, and Meg is almost as tall as me.**

 **It's Meg who gives me the scoop on Judy, how she's been faithfully taking her Lithium for almost six months now, and that's why she and William have gone off to be alone together for a while.**

 **"Why'd she stop taking them before?"**

 **Meg shrugs. "I dunno. Dad says she was fine up 'til Grandpa Gene moved here, then when he died she couldn't cope."**

 **Our eyes meet, and I can tell we're both thinking the same thing.**

 ** _How's she gonna cope when Betty goes?_**

 **The Album**

 ** _June 24, 1971._**

 **I slipped the last photo into Mom's album yesterday afternoon, and we all presented it to her: Me, Bobby and Gene, and Meg and Mary.**

 **To be honest now, as I type these words, I don't remember much of what was said in Mom's room, just that we crowded around her and cried as she went through that album page by page.**

 **She did not cry, although the tears were there, waiting, but Betty fought them back the way she's fought the goddamn cancer all these months.**

 **At the end, when she closed the book and our eyes met, I saw it there, all the love for me – for _us_ – that she'd been taught to repress all her life.**

 **And I hope more than anything that she saw the love shining in mine.**

 **Paula and Steve**

 ** _July 3, 1971._**

 **The day before the Fourth, Mr. Wagner has me in the office going through our Accounts Receivable files while he takes the guys to some seminar about how they can 'easily and seamlessly assimilate back into society'.**

 **Or something like that.**

 **Carol has gone to Katz's to get us our lunch, so I'm by myself for the moment.**

 **Which of course is the perfect time to call the first deadbeat.**

 **The files are alphabetical, and the first place I reach is a roofing company.**

 **"ACME Roofing."**

 **"Michael Otis, please."**

 **"Speaking."**

 **"Mr. Otis, this is Beth Draper at Vietnam Refuge, we-"**

 ** _Click._**

 ** _Well, shit._**

 **My first impulse is to call back and tell Mr. Otis where to go and what to do there, but then I figure if the state frowns on half-naked female volunteers, they probably won't like me cussing out one of our contractors, either.**

 **So I set that file aside and call the next one, Adams Plumbing, with Josephine McCabe as the lady to talk to.**

 **" _The number you have reached has been disconnected. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please hang up and try your call again."_**

 **So I do as I'm told, and get the same recording.**

 **"Pay your phone bill, Josephine," I mutter, reaching for the next folder, but just then there's an impatient knock on the office door.**

 **"Come in," I say, not bothering to ask who it is.**

 ** _Beth Draper can be such an idiot._**

 **The door opens and two people enter, one's that girl Paula who showed up at my house that time with Glen, the other is an irate-looking guy in his twenties who maybe used to be a jock in high school.**

 **"Hi, Paula," I say, my smile fading a bit when I see the bruise on her cheek. "Nice to see you again."**

 **"Hi, Sally," she replies shyly, and there is a fear there now that wasn't there when we'd first met.**

 **"Who's your friend?" I ask her, nodding toward Mr. Personality, who is just standing there glaring at me.**

 **"He's not a friend," she says with a touch of defiance. "He's just my brother Steve."**

 **Steve shifts his glare to Paula, apparently not liking her dismissive description of him.**

 **And that's when Carol walks in with our subs.**

 **"Hey, Sally." She sets the bag from Katz's on the desk, then looks right at Paula.**

 **"You must be Paula," she says, putting out a hand. "I'm Carol."**

 **Paula shakes hands, but only after casting a timid glance at Steve.**

 **Steve's eyes fix on Carol. "Listen, _Carol,_ this is a private conversation, and I don't remember asking you to join."**

 **Carol has taken an instant dislike to him, but only her eyes show it.**

 **"Aw, too bad," she tells him. "I was so looking forward to hearing your bullshit." She perches on the corner of the desk and gives him her sweetest smile.**

 **"She's with me," I say quickly, before things get out of hand. "And since this is her office too, I wouldn't dream of asking her to leave." I shake back my hair. "So either Carol stays or you go."**

 **"Fine," he says angrily, dropping into one of the two chairs in front of the desk. "The bitch can stay."**

 **Carol doesn't say a word, but if those eyes ever look at _me_ that way I'm finding a hole to hide in.**

 **Steve looks at Paula, gesturing at the other chair.**

 **"Sit."**

 **"Arf," she replies, taking a seat.**

 ** _Good for you, Paula._**

 **But the sudden flush on Steve's face tells me he doesn't like to be sassed, and again I wonder at Paula's bruised face.**

 **"Who hit you, Paula?" I ask her, my eyes on her brother, and sure enough there's a quick flash of guilt before he hides it.**

 **"Bishop hit her, you twit! That's why we're here!"**

 **I'm on my feet, glaring at him. "You're a liar. Glen's crap happened weeks ago. That bruise on her face is fresh, so don't bullshit me!"**

 **He looks trapped. "Tell 'em, Paula. Tell 'em it wasn't me."**

 **She gazes at him a long time, making up her mind, then looks at me.**

 **"It was him."**

 **Steve's on his feet. "Why you little-!"**

 **From her perch on the desk Carol says "Sit back down," and something in her voice - a tone I've never heard from her before – makes him obey.**

 **"You're both a pair of meddling sluts." he says, glaring from her to me.**

 **"Means there's four of us to kick your ass," Carol informs him, ready to try, and it occurs to me she wouldn't need any help.**

 **Again I butt in before any blood gets spilled. "Why are you here, Steve?"**

 **"To give you a message for that crippled punk. You tell him if he ever hurts Paula again I'll beat the fuckin' life out of him."**

 **And now Carol's off the desk and in his face, her tough mountain upbringing on full display.**

 **"Crippled punk, huh? Bullshit! I'm not stickin' up for what Glen did, to Paula or anyone else," – here she glances hard at me – "but that _punk_ lost a leg fighting a stupid war he had no business joining, and until I see some medals on that pretty chest of _yours_ , you just shut the hell up!"**

 **She's breathing hard, glaring at all of us now, then she says to me, "I'll be in the rec room when you're done."**

 **Then she's gone, the door slamming in her wake.**

 ** _Wow._**

 **I turn to Steve, who looks sort of stunned.**

 **"You've made your threat, now I'll make mine. I don't know the deal with you, but if this girl here suffers another bruise at your hands I will see your ass in jail."**

 **"Or you could sic Carol after him," Paula says, and we grin at each other.**

 **Steve stands up, his anger back. "I don't need to hear this shit. C'mon, sis, we're leaving."**

 **"No."**

 **"Whaddaya mean, no? How else you gonna get home?"**

 **She looks at him, all her timidness gone. "I'm going back to Mom's. You can pound sand for all I care."**

 **He fights to control the rage I can see on his face, then without another word he turns and walks out.**

 **The door slams again, then a minute or so later Carol comes back in.**

 **"Is Steve gone?"**

 **Paula and I both nod.**

 **"Good." She flashes us a sheepish smile. "He gets my dander up."**

 **"I noticed that," I tell her, then I look at Paula. "Can I ask what happened with you and Glen?"**

 **"Sure. I came here to see him after he called to tell me he was back. At first he was cool, we smoked some pot, I even shaved him and trimmed his hair, but when I tried to get horny with him he got mad."**

 ** _Yeah, I know that feeling._**

 **"Why'd he punch you?" Carol asks.**

 **Paula blushes. "That's kinda personal, okay? Let's just say he was distracted, almost like he wished I was someone else."**

 **I flush, and they both notice.**

 **"Sally, what's wrong?" Carol says in alarm. "Your face is all red like you're having a heart attack or something."**

 **"I know who Glen was 'distracted' by."**

 **"Who?" they both say together.**

 **And God help me, I tell them what I've never told anyone, that my oldest friend and my mother had some weird thing going even before I'd met him, and how first Glen and then Betty both slapped me when I finally confronted them about it.**

 **I look at Carol with tears on my cheeks. "My last secret," I tell her.**

 **"I forgive you," she says, her eyes bright with tears of her own.**

 **"Wow," Paula mutters, then fixes her gaze on me. "I saw how they looked at each other that day at your house, and I know you saw it too."**

 **I nod. "Yeah, then he dropped that shit on me about enlisting, and all that other stuff got pushed aside."**

 **The three of us talk the afternoon away, then Paula gives me her two addresses, the old one in Rye with Steve and her mother's house in Queens, along with her mom's number.**

 **"You can reach me there," she says. "I won't be going back to Steve's."**

 **My eyebrows go up. "Then why'd you give me that one?"**

 **She shrugs and says simply, "In case something happens."**

 **Restless**

 ** _July 4, 1971._**

 **I'm with Carol in her new bachelorette pad – actually her parents' permanent suite at the Hilton – hanging out with her for the holiday weekend while my family (Meg and Mary, too) visits Pauline for the Fourth.**

 **I'd almost gone with them, until Henry announced we would all be crammed in at Pauline's instead of lounging around at some swanky hotel.**

 ** _Please._**

 **Earlier we'd gone swimming, then watched fireworks from her balcony, and now I'm letting her put my damp hair up in a twist like hers.**

 **"I'm not gonna like it," I tell her, sitting there in just my undies and a borrowed white blouse knotted into a halter.**

 ** _Clothes are so overrated._**

 **"Not asking you to," she says behind me. "I just want to see what you'd look like with your hair done up fancy."**

 **"Barf," is my opinion on that, and Carol rolls her eyes.**

 **Then I think, _Glen_ _wouldn't like it, either,_ and this sudden feeling comes over me that I should go find him.**

 **That I _need_ to find him, because even though he's a shit he's still my friend, and because some asshole threatened his life the day before.**

 **I jump to my feet and start stalking the room, looking for my black jean skirt.**

 **Carol stares at me, one last bobby pin in her hand.**

 **"Draper, what the hell? I was almost done!"**

 **"Gotta see Glen," I say, finding the skirt and tugging it on.**

 **"Glen? Seriously?" She puts her hands on her hips and glares at me. "After all that shit yesterday with Paula and her dipshit brother, you need to stay away from him."**

 **"I know I do, but right now I can't. Don't wait up for me."**

 **"Wait _up_ for you? Sally, it's _already_ one in the fucking morning, so please!"**

 **Carol hardly ever swears, so I know how mad I'm making her. I walk over and hug her tight.**

 **"Let me come with you," she pleads.**

 **"Thanks, but no. I need to do this alone."**

 **" _This?"_ Her eyes narrow. "What kind of fucked-up shit are you up to?"**

 ** _Yup. She's mad, alright._**

 **I'm still hugging her, and now I whisper the truth into her hair.**

 **"I don't know yet. Gonna play it by ear." Then I kiss her forehead and head for the door, grabbing my purse on the way.**

 **Something whizzes past my ear and bounces off the door, then it happens again.**

 ** _My flip flops._**

 **I turn, and she's staring at me, her eyes wide and shiny now.**

 **"At least put _something_ on your damn feet," she says, tears on her cheeks. "And make sure you come back safe."**

 **She's got me ready to cry too, so I hug her again, slip my feet into the flip flops, and head out.**

 ** _What the hell am I doing?_**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 30: Glen**

 **A Visitor in Battery Park**

 **He watches her approach, all long legs and bouncing tits under her skimpy clothes.**

 ** _But what's with the hair, all pinned up like that?_**

 **"Hey," she says, reaching the bench he's sitting on, her eyes quickly locating his chair within easy reach.**

 ** _She still cares,_ he thinks, and the realization shames him.**

 **To cover the sudden lump in his throat, he says gruffly, "A girl as pretty as you, dressed like that, shouldn't be out in this park so late. She could get hurt."**

 **"Then don't hurt me," she says, giving him a bold, unblinking look.**

 **Chapter 31: Sally**

 **Playing It By Ear**

 **"I never would, Sally," he assures me as I sit next to him.**

 **"Liar."**

 **He puts a hand halfway up my thigh and starts to move it higher.**

 **"Don't, Glen. I'm not here for that."**

 **"Then why _are_ you here, Sally?"**

 **"I saw Paula and her brother yesterday. They came by the shelter and confronted me about you."**

 **"They did?" He's eyeing me warily. "What'd the bitch say?"**

 **My eyes narrow, and I feel my temper waking up.**

 **"She's no bitch, and what we talked about is between her and me." I push at a loose strand of hair. "Besides, you should be more worried about what Steve said."**

 **"Which was?"**

 **"That if you ever hurt Paula like you did before, he will beat the fucking life out of you."**

 **"His words or yours?"**

 **"His, basically."**

 **Suddenly he looks scared, and mad, and there's hatred there, too.**

 **I wonder who it's for, Paula and Steve, or me, or maybe all three of us.**

 ** _Or maybe it was for himself, but I don't think of that right then._**

 **"Damnit, Sally! Why didn't you tell me right away?"**

 **"I tried. I came here, but you weren't around. And then I walked the neighborhood, but nobody'd seen you." I shrug. "I tried this morning, too."**

 **He sighs. "Thanks for trying, Sally. And say hi to Carol when you talk to her, will you? She was never like those other bitches at Farmington."**

 **I promise him I will, then all my moral outrage at his treatment of Paula deserts me.**

 **"There is one thing I need from you before I go."**

 **"What's that?"**

 **"I want you to kiss me senseless."**

 ** _I know it's wrong – even that stupid little voice in my head says so – but I say it anyway._**

 **"May I loosen that lovely hair of yours first?"**

 **"Please do," I reply fervently, and we both laugh.**

 **He tunnels both hands through my hair, freeing it from Carol's pins, and then he kisses me just like I'd asked him to.**

 **Chapter 32: Glen**

 **Making Sally Senseless**

 **He kisses her hard, tasting cherry lip gloss on her parted lips, his tongue in her mouth as she kisses him back just as hard.**

 **His fingers move up her thigh, under the skirt, and this time she doesn't stop him.**

 **Chapter 33: Sally**

 **Fingered**

 **"No fair, Bishop," I tell him later, my legs still trembling, "keeping those long fingers to yourself all these years."**

 ** _Four years now, since that rainy night when I'd tasted - among other things - my first kiss._**

 **"Who says I have?" Glen says, too busy smirking to notice my sudden blush.**

 **I hate when he smirks, especially at me. It makes me want to hit him.**

 **"You've been holding out on me," I say, resisting the urge and pouting instead.  
**

 **"Maybe," he replies, "but haven't I made up for it tonight?"**

 **"How do you figure that?"**

 **"Made you scream twice, didn't I?"**

 ** _He sure did._**

 **I notice him staring at me.**

 **"What?"**

 **"You might want to wipe the smeared lipstick off your face."**

 ** _There's something a girl doesn't hear every day._**

 **"I'll wash up at Mario's," I tell him.**

 **"Okay," he says, his fingers distracting me again, and for a while there I forget how to breathe.**

 **Parting Words Forever**

 **As I look for my flip flops a bit later, I catch Glen staring at me again.**

 **"Now what?"**

 **"You should maybe fix your shirt before you go."**

 **I look down at myself. Somewhere during all our groping and him kissing me everywhere, Carol's blouse came untied and slipped halfway off my shoulders.**

 **"Thanks." I re-knot the shirt, then spot my flip flops hiding under the bench.**

 **I lean forward to retrieve them, and Glen says, "Sally, I can still see your tits."**

 **"That's nice," I retort, stashing the flip flops in my purse and getting rather stiffly to my feet. Then I give him a look. "You know, I only came here to tell you about Steve and Paula, then leave and never see you again."**

 **"So what changed?"**

 **"I got horny."**

 **His sad smile breaks my heart.**

 **"Sally, shame on you, using me for sex that way. I've apparently taught you too well."**

 **I shake my head. "Another man in my life showed me how _that's_ done, not you."**

 **We're quiet now, something's different between us, broken somehow, and finally he asks if we'll ever see each other again.**

 **"Well, sure," I reply. "But not like we just were."**

 **Then I turn and walk away.**

 **Chapter 34: Glen**

 **Almost Asleep**

 **He watches her go, admiring her legs and still half-mad.**

 **"If only she had found me yesterday," he mutters to himself.**

 ** _Would it have mattered? Or would what he did earlier today – which Sally obviously hasn't heard about yet – still have occurred?_**

 ** _I should hit Ma up for some cash,_ he thinks, _and get the hell outta Dodge._**

 **Ten minutes later, with an escape plan firmly established, he falls asleep.**

 **Sally in the Rain**

 ** _For once his dreams are not filled with blood and chaos and men screaming, or the chilling silence that came when the screaming stopped._**

 ** _Tonight he dreams of Sally, of a cloudy night out back of her house at midnight._**

 ** _She'd been 13 then, waiting there for him in her short nightgown and bare feet, her hair mussed from sleep, her eyes wide and solemn._**

 ** _"What do you want us to do, Sally?" he'd asked, breaking the silence between them, and she came to him, clutching his shirt-front in a death grip._**

 ** _"I want you to make me feel," she whispered, her soft lips brushing his, and he kissed her, one hand buried in her hair and the other sliding up under her gown._**

 ** _They stood that way a long time, neither of them caring when the downpour came._**

 ** _Finally she stepped back, and this will be his last image of her, of a slim girl gazing at him through a wet tangle of hair, her nightgown plastered to her skin and her lips slightly swollen from his kiss._**

 ** _"Your turn," she'd said softly, reaching for his belt._**

 ** _And then there is nothing more, as Glen Bishop's dream comes to an abrupt end._**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 35: Sally**

 **Viola and Clyde**

 **I head over to Mario's, only it's been awhile and it's not Mario's Deli anymore, it's Vi's Diner, and when I walk in the woman behind the counter smiles at me.**

 **I stop dead. "Viola?"**

 **"Yes, ma'am. Hi, Sally!"**

 **"Hi," I answer, still stunned to see her. "Where's Mario?"**

 **As I perch on a stool, she leans close and whispers, "I got him buried out back, but don't tell anyone."**

 **Then she notices my appearance.**

 **"Sally girl," she says, her eyes twinkling, "you look like you've just been rode hard and put away wet."**

 **"And then some," I tell her, liking her phrase.**

 **She sighs. "At least one of us had fun tonight." Then, noticing my bare feet, she says, "Most of my customers wear shoes, but since I like you and the place is mine, you're good."**

 **"So where's Mario, really?"**

 **"The day after your stunt with the sandwiches, he put the place up for sale, I made an offer, and here we are."**

 **"Wow. I almost feel sorry for him."**

 **"Don't. I think he was relieved to sell, he said he was going to Chicago to spend time with his grandkids."**

 **"Good for him." I grin. "Just so none of them ever joins the Army."**

 **"You're terrible," she says, grinning back at me, "but so am I. I thought the same thing."**

 **We talk for a bit, Viola pours me a cup of coffee, and as I'm stirring in sugar and cream the bell on the door jingles and this homeless-looking guy enters, blinking like he's not used to the lights.**

 ** _And man, does he smell._**

 **His eyes fix on me.**

 **"Are you Sally?"**

 **I nod, gaping at him. "Who are you?"**

 **"Clyde," he says. "Man out back gimme twenty bucks to make sure you got this."**

 **He comes closer – gag - and hands me a note.**

 **This is what it says:**

 **' _I told you what would happen if he hurt her again.'_**

 **Out back, a motorcycle revs up and takes off.**

 ** _According to Paula, Steve has a motorcycle._**

 ** _Oh, shit._**

 **I shove the note in my purse and tell Viola, "I'll call you."**

 **To the homeless guy I say, "Thanks, Clyde."**

 **Then I grab the purse and run.**

 **Gone **

**When I get back to him, it's already getting light out.**

 ** _I'd be in trouble if Mom and Henry knew where I was, or what I'd done all night, but they don't and so I focus on Glen._**

 **He's there on the bench, looking asleep. But the wheelchair is on its side a few feet away, too far for Glen to reach, and in my heart I know he's not sleeping.**

 **I approach the chair, intending to right it, then stop cold when I see the blood on it.**

 **Blood and... _other_ things.**

 ** _Pieces of flesh, Sally. Those are pieces of flesh._**

 **I fight back a scream, tasting puke in my throat.**

 **I go to the bench.**

 **No, there's no doubt. He's not sleeping, he's dead, and I sit down and take his head in my lap.**

 **There's blood and gore leaking out of him and onto my bare legs, but right then I don't notice.**

 **"Excuse me, Miss, is everything all right?"**

 **I look up, and there's a cop – _now_ there's a goddamn cop - on a horse looking at me.**

 ** _Is he fucking blind?_**

 **I stare at the man, wanting to grab the chair and beat _him_ bloody, and the stupid horse too, but that would take too much effort so I don't.**

 **"I'm fine," I tell him flatly. "But my friend here is oozing shit all over me."**

 **There. _That_ got his attention.**

 **Questions and Kindness **

**They interrogate the hell out of me, even after Glen's body is gone, and when this young and pretty female cop asks for current I.D., I show her my Connecticut one, with Miss Porter's address on it. Then she asks for a phone number, and I give her the one for the dorm pay phone.**

 **"Contact name?"**

 **"Carol Francis."**

 **Carol's last name is not Francis, and she just graduated anyway, but she knows if she's summoned to a phone by that name it means _Cover Sally's Ass_.**

 **Then the lady cop asks if I know the way to the police station, and I glare at her.**

 **"No. Should I?"**

 **She puts her hands up like someone surrendering. "Hey, no offense, kid." She gestures at my loosely-tied blouse. "It's just, most girls I see showing _that_ much skin turn tricks for a living."**

 ** _Oh._**

 **I blush. "Sorry. Sometimes my inner slut gets the best of me."**

 **She surprises me by grinning. "Someday, kid, you gotta meet mine."**

 **Then Donna – that's her name – says "Come on, I'll drive you myself, so the lead homicide guy can take your statement."**

 **Kowalski**

 **At the station Donna cleans me off in the washroom, parks me in front of someone's desk, and says, "Sit tight, kid, a detective will be with you shortly."**

 **I read the nameplate on his desk.**

 **"Kowalski?"**

 **"That's him," Donna says. "But whatever you do, don't let him intimidate you."**

 **"Okay," I shrug, wondering just how bad this guy can be, and then there he is, scowling down at me.**

 **He looks like a weasel. A short, fat one with mean eyes, slobbering all over an unlit cigar.**

 **His impression of me isn't any better.**

 **"So, honey, what street corner did the crippled kid find _you_ on?"**

 ** _This is a nightmare. It has to be._**

 **To test my theory, I tell Kowalski to go fuck himself, figuring if I'm dreaming maybe I'll wake up, and if not maybe they'll just shoot me.**

 **He glares at me. "If you weren't a minor I'd slap your face for that."**

 **"And I'd sue your fat ass," I tell him, on my feet now.**

 ** _This is not me, this girl standing here in skimpy clothes mouthing off to a cop, but whoever she is, she's got everyone's attention._**

 **"Victor," Donna says sharply, "she's a witness, not a suspect, and you need to tone that shit down."**

 **"I'll decide who's a goddamn suspect," he snaps. "And listen, Marzec, who's the senior detective around here, me or you?"**

 **Donna rolls her eyes. "You are."**

 **"See, even Donna thinks you're an old dick," I mutter, as Donna's eyes warn me too late to keep my mouth shut.**

 **"Sit down, Sally," she says, no nonsense now, so I do.**

 **Kowalski and I glare at each other, 'til finally he says, "Okay, let's get started. Name?"**

 **"You have my name."**

 **He sighs. "Tell me anyway."**

 **"Sally Beth Draper."**

 **"Address?"**

 **"You have that, too. Ask me about Glen."**

 **"Okay, you little brat, we'll do this your way. What was your relationship to the deceased?"**

 **"He was my friend."**

 **Kowalski snorts, and I feel myself start to cry.**

 **"He _was._ Almost my only one."**

 **" _That_ I can believe," he mutters, and I give him the finger from down in my lap where he can't see it.**

 **He leans back, steepling his fingers and studying me. "So, Sally Beth Draper, if the Bishop kid was such a good _friend,_ why'd you tamper with my crime scene?"**

 ** _Huh?_**

 **"I didn't."**

 **He shuffles some papers. "Says here you were found sitting on a bench with Bishop's head in your lap. That's evidence-tampering in my book."**

 ** _You need a new book._**

 **"He was dead, and I held him. How's that tampering?" I blow a strand of hair off my nose. "Besides, at least I didn't mess with the wheelchair."**

 ** _Oh, God, I need to not think about the wheelchair._**

 **I shudder, looking down at my lap, and then I see it. A smear of drying blood and some other liquidy part of Glen on my leg that Donna must have missed when she tried to clean me up before.**

 **I stare at it, shaking now, and so angry.**

 **With my finger, I wipe the smear off my thigh and wipe it on Kowalski's big white desk calendar.**

 **"Here, have some evidence!" I scream at him, then run out of there sobbing.**

 **Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide**

 **Can't run in flip flops, so I ditch them right outside the station and take off.**

 **I'm halfway down the block when I hear Donna behind me.**

 **"Sally, wait up! C'mon kid, gimme a break!"**

 **She's been the nicest to me of all of them, so I stop and let her catch up.**

 **"Don't make me go back, please! Not to _him._ "**

 **She gives me a look. "I told you not to let him intimidate you."**

 **"I'm not intimidated," I flare at her. "I wanna kill the man!"**

 **Donna laughs. "You ain't the only one, trust me. Now come on, we've got someone else to finish up your statement. I think you'll like him."**

 **So we head back.**

 **Kowalski's Boss**

 **The desk calendar is gone, and so is Kowalski. The man standing behind the desk now is younger, handsome like my dad, and much kinder than the weasel.**

 **"You must be Sally," he says, smiling at me and offering his hand. "I'm Lieutenant Trevanti."**

 **Because he is a decent man, I remember my manners and say, "Nice to meet you, Lieutenant."**

 **And I shake his hand.**

 **We sit down, and he says, "I'm sorry about your friend, and for my detective's behavior toward you."**

 **"Thank you, sir." I look around. "Where is he, anyway?"**

 **"I assigned him to another case."**

 **"Good." I pause. "Sorry I was rude to him."**

 **"Don't be. He had no call to abuse you the way he did." He glances at the papers in front of him. "You board at Miss Porter's?"**

 **"Yes," I say, hating to lie but not wanting him to contact Mom or Henry.**

 **"Shouldn't you be there now?"**

 **"Normally, yeah, but we're on a weekend field trip for the Fourth." I sigh. "I suppose you need to call my chaperone?"**

 ** _Carol's gonna flip. I hope she can pull it off._**

 **As it turns out, she does just fine.**

 **Chapter 36: Carol**

 **Faking It**

 **She paces the room frantically, listening to the sketchy details on the news about the homeless vet found dead in Battery Park.**

 ** _Praying Sally isn't in trouble, or worse._**

 **They aren't giving the victim's name, but in her heart Carol knows it must be Glen, and the fact that Sally hasn't called is scaring her half to death.**

 **The phone rings, and she actually screams.**

 **"Hello?" she gasps into the receiver, her heart racing.**

 **"Good morning," a man's voice, soothing yet full of authority. "May I speak to Carol Francis, please?"**

 **"Sure, lemme get her for you. May I ask who's calling?"**

 **The man identifies himself as a cop, and she nearly drops the phone.**

 **Then, unable to help herself, she blurts out, "Is it about Sally? Is she dead, too?"**

 **"It is about Sally, but she's fine. She's sitting right here." To Sally, Carol hears him say, "Your friend is very worried about you." Then to Carol he says, "Now, about Ms. Francis?"**

 **"Oh yes, of course. I'll get her."**

 **She sets down the receiver, takes a deep breath to compose herself, and thinks, _Some Senator you'll make._**

 **Then she picks up the receiver again, making her voice prim and refined.**

 **"Hello?"**

 **"Yes, is this Carol Francis?"**

 **"It is indeed, Lieutenant. How is Miss Draper? Is she in trouble again?"**

 ** _Sorry, Sally. That's for making me worry._**

 **"No ma'am. We're taking her statement about a crime she may have witnessed."**

 **"Oh, dear! Was it related to that poor man in the park?"**

 **"I'm afraid I can't answer that."**

 ** _Idiot. Like Sally's not gonna spill everything when she gets back here._**

 **"I understand. When will you be releasing her?"**

 **"She's not in custody, ma'am, but I'll have one of my officers bring her to the hotel as soon as we're done here."**

 **"Thank you, Lieutenant, I shall await her safe return."**

 **She hangs up and collapses on the bed in tears.**

 ** _Oh, Sally, what the hell did you see?_**

 **Chapter 37: Sally**

 **Suspects**

 **After Lieutenant Trevanti hangs up with Carol, he asks me if I can think of anyone who'd want to hurt Glen, and I nod.**

 **I tell him about Steve and Paula's visit to the shelter and the threats Steve made, then pull the note from my purse and give it to him along with the addresses Paula gave me.**

 **"I'll need to keep these," he says.,**

 **"Okay. But could you write Paula's info on another piece of paper for me?"**

 **As he does, I describe that time with Sarah, Mandy, and Rolo on the street, and I make sure to cover Carol's back like she just did mine.**

 **"Sarah and Rolo hate Carol," I say finally, "and they'll say she was with them, but don't believe it. She helped me keep them off him." I pause, then add, "Rolo called her a cunt, and she slapped him."**

 **"Was that the young lady I just spoke to?"**

 **I nod. "Yeah, it was."**

 **Then we're done, and Donna drives me back to the Hilton.**

 **As I'm about to exit her car, she pulls me into a hug and says, "Kid, you ever need anything, you make sure and call, or look me up at the station, y'hear?"**

 **This chokes me up, and I promise her I will.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 38: Sally**

 **True Friends**

 **But the hug from Donna is nothing compared to the one I get from Carol, who practically tackles me as I come through the door.**

 **"Draper, you scared the shit outta me!"**

 **She holds me at arm's length, staring into my eyes, and surprises me with a hard kiss right on the lips.**

 **My lips respond, and when we come up for air she says, "I hope you don't take that wrong."**

 **We stare at each other, and right then something inside me shifts and my heart skips a beat.**

 **"I don't _think_ I took it wrong," I tell her, "but do it again just to make sure."**

 **Her eyes go wide, then she kisses me again, more gentle this time, and I think I'm done with guys for a while.**

 ** _Like I ever really got started._**

 **When the second kiss ends we're both breathless and flushed. I run my fingers through my hair, which could use a nice shampoo.**

 **"I'll take a shower, then we'll talk," I tell her, knowing she's anxious to hear everything.**

 **"I could use one, too," she replies, and we stare at each other again.**

 **Finally she sighs. "You first, Draper."**

 **"Next time you go first," I tell her.**

 **She gives me a look. "Next time we both go first."**

 **Becoming Closer**

 **Late afternoon now, we're both clean, both wearing only t-shirts and undies, and Carol's lying on the couch with her head in my lap.**

 **I've told her everything, crying at times, and her crying too, until there's nothing left to say and we're on our second bottle of Peppermint Schnapps.**

 **"I'm so glad we found each other," Carol says, then lifts my shirt and sticks her tongue in my belly button.**

 ** _Gasp._**

 **Her tongue moves lower.**

 **We stay on that couch 'til daybreak, only leaving it to pee or fetch another bottle from the mini- fridge, and when morning comes we both shower first.**

 **Meanwhile, Back in Rye**

 **The next night at dinner seems awfully quiet, so to stir things up I say, "I think I'm turning lesbian."**

 **Nobody looks up, not even Betty, and when the phone rings they all ignore that, too.**

 **I reach over and grab the receiver. "Hello?"**

 **"Draper, you bitch, what did you do?"**

 ** _Hello to you, too, Sarah._**

 **"What do you mean?"**

 **"The New York cops asked me if I killed Glen!"**

 **"Did you?"**

 **"No!"**

 **"Then you have nothing to worry about."**

 **And I hang up on her.**

 **Bad News About Paula**

 **Early the next morning I call the number Paula gave me, and an older woman with a raspy voice answers.**

 **"Hello?"**

 **"Yes, is Paula there, please?"**

 **"She's been hurt."**

 **My whole body goes cold. "What happened to her?"**

 **"Talk to Steve," she says, and hangs up.**

 **A Suspicion Confirmed**

 **No shower, tangled hair, yesterday's jeans and t-shirt...A quick swig of Schnapps, then another, and I'm on my way.**

 **I walk the few blocks over to Steve's and knock on his door.**

 **It takes a while, but finally he answers, dressed only in jeans and yawning at me.**

 **"Hey, Sally. What's up?"**

 **"What'd you do to Paula?" I push past him into the foyer.**

 **His glare chills me. "Ask your friend Bishop what _he_ did, why don't you?"**

 **"Because he's dead, and I'm asking you."**

 **He sighs, and the anger seems to go out of him.**

 **"She's at Bellevue, but it wasn't me that put her there."**

 ** _Oh, no. Glen, what did you do?_**

 **"What happened to her?"**

 **"She stayed in the city, thanks to you and your psycho girlfriend, and somehow Glen tracked her down. He accosted her on the street and they got into a shouting match over you."**

 **"Over me? Why?"**

 **"She threw it in his face that she'd told you stuff about him, sexual stuff, and he lost it. He punched her in the crotch, then shoved her so hard that she fell backwards and cracked her head on the sidewalk."**

 ** _That son of a bitch._**

 ** _(No offense, Mrs. Bishop.)_**

 ** _The same boy I let touch me in all my secret places, who loved to bury his fingers in my hair._**

 ** _Who liked to make me scream._**

 ** _Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit._**

 ** _Oh, Paula._**

 **And me, I knew what he was capable of, what he'd already done, and I went back to him.**

 ** _I feel dirty. And so damn ashamed._**

 **"She gonna be okay?"**

 **Steve shrugs. "Her doctor thinks so. They're releasing her in a couple days."**

 ** _Thank God._**

 **"Did the cops talk to you about Glen?"**

 **"Yeah. A Detective Marzec stopped by."**

 **"And?"**

 **"I denied any knowledge of Bishop's untimely demise, and since the note I left for you wasn't in my real handwriting, she finally left."**

 **"Did she believe you?"**

 **"Probably not. She told me not to leave town."**

 **I take a deep breath and ask him straight out. "How'd you know I was at Viola's?"**

 **"Saw you go in. Figured I had time for a stroll in the park."**

 **I stare at him. "Jesus, Steve! Why?"**

 **"You know why. Because he hurt my sister."**

 **"Okay, I get that part. But why _tell_ me? What if I turn you in?"**

 **He shrugs. "I did it, Sally, and I'm not sorry. But you were basically his only friend, and I figured you should know what happened to him."**

 **My anger flashes. "I _already_ knew, you asshole! I found his ass lying all bloody on the bench."**

 **He looks stricken. "Oh, God, Sally! I never thought you'd go back there that morning."**

 **I shake my head, not believing this. "You're sorry for what I saw, but not for what you did? That's fucked, Steve."**

 **Again he shrugs. "To you, maybe." Then his piercing eyes – a murderer's eyes – stare into mine. "You can use my phone to call the cops if you want."**

 **"You _want_ me to rat you out? That's fucked, too."**

 **"It's not that I want you to," he says, "but I wouldn't blame you if you did."**

 **It takes me a second to decide. Then I find his phone and call Donna.**

 **At Viola's Again**

 **So there we are at the diner a week later, me and Carol chatting with Viola, when the door jingles and someone drawls, "Well, well, if it ain't my favorite transient witness!"**

 **I know that voice, and I damn sure know what _transient_ means, so this does not bode well for my current good mood.**

 **I spin on my stool, almost falling off the thing when I see her.**

 **It's Donna alright, but she brought her inner slut with her: teased blonde hair falling loose over her shoulders, skintight red mini-dress cut so low in front you can see her navel, black nylons, and heels that would put me in traction.**

 **I'm wearing my short green dress, the one that used to have a drawstring, heeled sandals that show off my red toenails, and my hair is its usual tousled mess.**

 **I feel like someone's granny.**

 **Donna joins us, with every guy in the place drooling shamelessly.**

 **Every guy, and Carol too.**

 **"Ahem," I hiss at her, which helps not at all, and Donna grins at me.**

 **"Didn't I tell you?"**

 **I sigh. "She's awesome, but now mine needs therapy."**

 **Viola has no idea what we're talking about, so Carol fills her in.**

 **"I think they're comparing inner sluts."**

 **"I used to have one of those," Viola says wistfully as she heads back into the kitchen.**

 **As I introduce Carol and Donna, I get the brilliant idea that the three of us should all go visit my mother.**

 **Major Holes**

 **The back seat of Donna's unmarked detective car – a souped-up yellow '71 Plymouth Satellite Bobby's gonna love - is crammed with police stuff, so Carol and I squeeze into the front seat, practically in each other's laps.**

 **"This is so illegal," Donna says. "And probably not too comfy for you two."**

 **"Oh, we're _very_ comfy," Carol says, and Donna gives us a sideways glance as she drives. Then she grins.**

 **"Well, bless your hearts," she says.**

 **A few minutes later, as Carol and I giggle and cop feels on each other, we get another sideways look from Donna, but this one is not as cheerful.**

 **"Sally, we need to talk, and y'all need to calm down."**

 ** _Damn._**

 **Carol and I calm down.**

 **"Am I in trouble?" I ask timidly.**

 **"No, sweetie, you're not. But I'm not as stupid as Kowalski or as kindly as my Lieutenant, and your story that morning had holes in it big enough to drive a tank through."**

 **I meet her eyes. "I didn't want to upset my parents, not with the shit that's already going on at home."**

 **Donna nods. "I kinda figured that from my talk with the nice lady at Miss Porter's...Who was very relieved, by the way, when I told her you were okay."**

 **"I'll have to call her," I say. "And I'm sorry I made your job harder."**

 **She laughs. "Honey, you solved the case for us. But still, I am curious about one thing. Who, exactly, is Carol Francis? No one at Miss Porter's ever heard of her."**

 **Carol goes into her _Miss Francis_ mode.**

 **"Honestly, Detective, one would think an astute police person such as yourself would have deduced the answer to that by now."**

 **Donna grins. "Well, damn my eyes! Carol, you are a born mimic."**

 **Carol grins back. "T'ain't nothin'," she says, then turns serious. "Donna, why were you investigating Sally even _after_ she turned Steve in?"**

 **"Yeah," I put in, "I'm sort of wondering that myself."**

 **"Kid, I like you," Donna says to me as she pulls into our driveway. "I was afraid you were maybe mixed up in something over your head."**

 **"Thank you for caring," I tell her, ready to cry now. "And just for that you get to come in and meet my family."**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 39: Betty**

 **Unlikely Visitors**

 **Betty sits at her bureau brushing her hair when Henry pokes his head in.**

 **"We've got three extra for dinner, so I ordered four deluxe pizzas instead of three."**

 **She raises a brow. "Who besides Valerie?"**

 **"Sally brought Carol again, and there's also the sexy New York detective in the slinky red dress who drove them here."**

 **"I'll be right down."**

 **Girl Talk**

 **The red dress is not just slinky, it's scandalous, but Betty finds herself liking her daughter's newest friend.**

 **They have the kitchen to themselves now, the pizzas long since devoured and her family scattered: Henry and the boys outside ogling Donna's car, while Sally has Carol and Valerie, and Meg and Mary, up in her room listening to records.**

 **She remembers watching her children during dinner, the way Bobby and Val shared glances and the casual way they touched each other.**

 **The same glances and touches she'd noticed between Sally and Carol, and she wonders why this doesn't shock her.**

 ** _They look happy together. Maybe it's as simple as that._**

 **Now she looks at the younger woman and sighs. "So, am I right in assuming Gene is my only remaining child without a girlfriend?"**

 **Donna smiles. "'Fraid so. They were rather frisky on the drive from the city." She puffs her cigarette, takes a small sip of coffee, then asks, "Does that bother you?"**

 **Betty thinks on it as she puffs her own cigarette.**

 **"Surprisingly, no. I want my daughter to be happy, despite what _she_ may believe." She sips her coffee. "How did you and she happen to meet?"**

 **"She and I both like the same restaurant in Manhattan."**

 **This seems plausible enough, but Betty wonders what she's not being told.**

 **"Mario's?"**

 **"Used to be, 'til he sold out. Gal named Viola owns it now."**

 **"I didn't know that. Henry will be disappointed, he considers Mario a friend."**

 **Donna looks at her watch and frowns. "Oh, damn, I'm late." She grins. "Hot date with the hubby."**

 ** _Ah. That explains the dress._**

 **"Too bad, I was enjoying our chat." Betty stands. "Come on, I'll show you out."**

 **At the door they pause, and Betty says, "Donna, I'm glad my daughter knows you, although I think there's something you're both protecting me from." Their eyes meet as she adds, "All I ask is that you will be a good friend to her after I'm gone."**

 **Donna's eyes well with tears. "Aw, now you're chokin' me up. I'll be that and more, and what I hate most in the world right now is that you won't be around to see it."**

 **And Betty, who is not a hugger, hugs Donna now as they cry into each other's hair.**

 **Back Upstairs**

 **Later, back in her room once more, Betty reflects on this evening, and what she'd heard on the radio earlier.**

 **Glen Bishop is dead, his killer caught, and she suspects her daughter knows more than she's telling.**

 ** _Not hard, considering she's not telling me a damn thing._**

 **And now Sally appears, she and Carol both, standing just inside the doorway to Betty's room.**

 **"So can Carol spend the night? We just cleared it with her mom."**

 **"What about Valerie?"**

 **"Her parents picked her up an hour ago."**

 **She studies the two girls, so similar in their long hair and long tanned legs, both clad in t-shirts and shorts now before bed.**

 **And those matching toe rings, more significant than she'd realized.**

 **Yet there are differences too, if one looks closely enough:**

 **Carol, the Southern girl, slightly shorter, with a bigger bust and those striking green eyes most girls would kill for.**

 **And Sally, the rebellious one, her hair forever tousled, with direct brown eyes that miss nothing, so comfortable in her own skin she often bares too much of it.**

 **Betty notes the 'we' in Sally's comment and nods to herself. They already think as a team, and that's a good start.**

 **"Do you promises to behave yourselves?"**

 **Sally tilts her head. "If I say yes, would you believe me?"**

 **"No."**

 **"I wouldn't believe her, either," Carol agrees.**

 **"Shut _up!_ " Sally says, then looks solemnly at Betty. "What if we promise not to wake the boys with our screams of ecstasy?"**

 ** _She knows I know, or that's her subtle way of telling me._**

 **"If you two figure out how to do that," she says, arching a brow, "let me know. Then tell Henry to get his ass up here."**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 40: Sally  
**

 **Ginger and Mary Ann**

 **So Carol and I are all cozy in bed, pleasantly buzzed on Schnapps, when she says, "Draper, what should I name my inner slut?"**

 **My hand stops doing circles on her tummy. "She's yours. You should name her."**

 **"Yeah, but I only just met her because of you, so maybe you have some ideas."**

 **"Wait a minute," I say, my hand roving lower, "are you saying your slut is _my_ fault now?"**

 **"Yes," she breathes, which may or may not be a direct answer to my question. Then I have an idea.**

 **"I'll call mine Ginger," I tell Carol.**

 **"Then I'll be Mary Ann," she whispers, her tongue exploring my ear, and then for a long time neither of us says a word.**

 ** _Still later._**

 **"Carol, can I ask you something personal?"**

 **"Ask me anything," she says breathlessly. "Just don't stop whatever it is you're doing to me down there."**

 **What I'm doing is exploring, what she's doing is giving me my first hickey.**

 ** _On my left breast, near the heart._**

 **"How did you guys become wealthy?"**

 **"My mom married a rich guy."**

 **"What happened to your real dad?"**

 **"I've never told you this story?"**

 **"No."**

 **She sits up, tucking her legs under her, and I sit crosslegged facing her, both of us in just our undies at the moment.**

 **She takes my hand and kisses it, then holds it in her lap.**

 **"I'm glad you asked me," she says softly.**

 **"I was always afraid to before."**

 **"Don't ever be afraid with me, Sally, you know I love you to death. And I'll never hurt you."**

 **"I know that," I whisper, pulling her to me so that her head rests on my shoulder and I'm stroking her hair. "Now tell me about your dad."**

 **"He died when I was ten, the Black Lung got him, and Mom and me were left with no steady income." She takes a ragged breath. "It was hard, Sally, we were always hungry and both of us missing my father."**

 **Carol goes quiet, and I ask her what happened to save them.**

 **"The owner of the mine came by to check on us, he gave Mom a job in the mine office and moved us into his fancy house."**

 **"Were you happy?" I ask. She doesn't _sound_ too happy telling it, and my arms tighten around her.**

 **"My mother was happy. I was eleven by then, and when they started sleeping together it made me furious. I started acting out, fighting at school and cussing both of them." She sighs. "Finally they decided a change of scenery would help, so Robert sold his mines, they got married, and we moved here."**

 **"Do you miss Tennessee?"**

 **"Sometimes. But then I tell myself I woulda never met you if we stayed down home, so that helps."**

 **"I love you, too," I say, my eyes tearing up.**

 **We kiss and fondle some more, then something occurs to me and I stop the kissing part.**

 **"What would your parents say if they knew about you and me?"**

 **She shrugs. "My stepdad and me barely tolerate each other now, so I doubt anything would change. And my mom already knows I'm not into boys."**

 **"I can tell that, too," I tease. "You're into me, instead."**

 ** _No pun intended._**

 **Time passes while we play, then I get a horrible thought.**

 **"Carol, you said your parents won't care, but when you're a Senator other folks will."**

 **She stops kissing my chest and glares at me.**

 **"Draper, what other people think will never make me change how I am with you. I've never believed in happily-ever-after before, and even if the Ginger an' Mary Ann part of us doesn't last forever-"**

 **My heart stutters a little. "Don't say that!"**

 **She calms me with a tender kiss, then says, "I'm not saying it won't, and sure as shit I hope it does, but no matter what _you_ are the most important thing in my life. _That's_ what I was trying to say." And now she grins. "And them that don't like it can kiss my rosy red ass!"**

 **"You need to talk Southern to me more often," I say, so she does, and a long time later we fall asleep tangled up in each other's arms.**

 **The next morning when I open my eyes, I can hear Carol's laugh from downstairs as she and my cousins share breakfast with Henry and the boys. The note she left me reads:**

 ** _Dear Ginger,_**

 ** _When my wrinkled old butt is bedridden in some nursing home somewhere – hopefully like in 70 years or so – I want you in that bed with me._**

 ** _Remember that._**

 ** _Love you always,_**

 ** _Mary Ann_**

 ** _PS – Draper, Carol says that goes for you, too._**

 **So a few minutes later I pad into the kitchen in my shortest nightie, walk right up to Carol, and kiss the socks off her.**

 ** _Not that she's wearing any, but still._**

 **Then, with my whole family except Mom staring at me, I say "You got a date, Mary Ann my love, but that bed's gonna be awfully crowded."**

 **With that, I turn on my heel and head back upstairs.**

 ** _There. Now they all know._**

 **My Family is Not Normal**

 **So I'd been sweating about how my family would react to me and Carol, but mostly they seem cool with it.**

 **And I think I know why, too. Everybody loves Carol, but nobody except me ever liked Glen, not really. Mom sort of did, but with her it was all about the attention.**

 **The only negative comment I got was Mary's "Oh, that was so gross," but she's only 11 and hasn't discovered the joys of kissing yet.**

 **And the best response came from Meg, who at 13 already has.**

 **She knocks on my bedroom door later that morning not long after Carol got a ride back to the city from Henry.**

 **"Who is it?"**

 **"Your favorite cousin."**

 **I'm moping around, feeling lonesome with Carol gone, but Meg's voice cheers me up instantly.**

 **"Hey, Meg. C'mon in."**

 **She does, wearing my old Stones shirt that she'd pilfered from my closet back at Christmas, and I notice the hem only reaches mid-thigh on her now.**

 **"You're getting taller," I say, studying her. "And your hair's a little longer."**

 **"I'm glad you noticed."**

 **She looks around, arching a brow just like Mom would when she spots the bottle of Schnapps hiding in plain sight on my desk.**

 **"Missing her already, aren't you?"**

 **"You have no idea," I say with a sigh. "It's no fun being Ginger by myself anymore."**

 **"I know what that means," she assures me, closing the door and joining me on my bed. And now it's her turn to sigh.**

 **"What's wrong?"**

 **"That was so romantic, how you were with Carol earlier, but now I'm sort of jealous."**

 **I grin. "Not like Mary, huh?"**

 **"Heck no!" she says fiercely. "I wish someone would kiss me like that."**

 **"Isn't my brother a good kisser?"**

 **Her eyes widen at that, then she smiles. "No, Bobby's awesome, but I was kissing _him._ "**

 ** _Ah._**

 **We're quiet then, as she stares down into her lap, and finally I say, "Meg, look at me."**

 **Her blue eyes fix on mine, curious and maybe a little scared.**

 **"Just this once," I whisper, and kiss her the way I'd kissed Carol.**

 **There's something desperate in the way she kisses me back, a need for something missing, and I remember the girl I'd been that time in the rain with Glen.**

 ** _Make me feel._**

 **The kiss ends and we stare at each other, both of us breathing hard and flushed.**

 **"You better still like boys," I tell her, not sure _why_ it matters, only that it does.**

 **"For sure," Meg says, her eyes shiny with unshed tears. "But I love you for doing that."**

 **Then she throws her arms around me in a fierce hug, and we're cousins again.**

 **A Phone Call From Paula**

 **"Hello?"**

 **"Hi, Sally?"**

 **"Yeah, it's me, Paula. What's up?"**

 **"Well, I wanted to thank you, and Carol too, for helping me. And to say I'm sorry for what my brother did to Glen." She pauses. "I can't believe how brave you were to go over there and confront him."**

 ** _Brave, or really, really stupid._**

 **"Not sure how brave I was," I tell her. "I was just pissed."**

 **"I can understand that, believe me." Then she says, "Sally, there's something I need to tell you, but I'm not sure if I should."**

 ** _I hate when people do that._**

 **"Now you have to tell me, or I'll haunt you forever until you do."**

 **That gets a laugh out of her.**

 **"Well, in that case..." She takes a deep breath. "That whole day at Playland, Glen was in a snippy mood, and finally I asked him what was wrong."**

 **"And?" I prod when she goes quiet on me.**

 **"He ditched me. Said he had to bid your mom a proper farewell or something, and took off."**

 ** _Shit. I thought I'd heard their voices from the kitchen that day._**

 ** _"A more formal goodbye," he'd said to Betty in our foyer, probably figuring we'd share ours later._**

 ** _Until I got mad and ruined it._**

 ** _Then he went off to war, and the Glen Bishop who came back to me wasn't the same one who left._**

 ** _I want to cry, and scream, and shake my mother 'til her brains leak out her ears._**

 **And then Paula's voice in _my_ ear: "Sally, you still there?"**

 **Yeah, I'm here, and maybe I'll _always_ be here, but I'll never let whatever was between them diminish my love for my mom, or even Glen, as fucked up as he was at the end.**

 **So now I tell Paula that I'm not mad she told me, which I'm not, and assure her that everything is good between us, which it is.**

 **Then I say goodbye and hang up.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 41: Sally**

 **Birdie Flies Away**

 ** _July 19, 1971._**

 **So Monday afternoon Mom's doctor comes out of her bedroom for the last time and says, "She's ready for you now."**

 **We all start to file in, but the doctor puts a hand on my arm to stop me.**

 **"She asked for you last," he says gently.**

 **The meaning of that hits hard, and for the first time in forever I feel important to my mother.**

 **Now I sit by her bed and take her hand, so ice-cold in mine I start rubbing it.**

 **"Hi, Mom."**

 **"I'm sorry about Glen," she says, her voice clear but weak.**

 **"You heard?"**

 **She gestures at the round blue radio on her nightstand, the one I got her last Christmas.**

 **"The radio said he was found on a bench in Battery Park, beaten to a pulp."**

 ** _Killed by his own goddamn wheelchair._**

 **"It was me that found him."**

 **Mom's eyes widen at that. "So _that's_ how you really met that policewoman." Then she shudders. "That must have been a terrible ordeal for you."**

 ** _No shit, Mom._**

 **"Yeah, it was."**

 **"Were you in love with him?"**

 ** _Was I?_**

 **I ponder that, then shake my head. "I thought I was once, but..." And I shrug.**

 **Her next question is pure Betty. "He didn't get you pregnant, did he?"**

 **"No."**

 **"You never had sex?"**

 **"We kissed a lot, and touched each other. But no, he never put his thing inside me."**

 **"The way you talk," she mutters, then sighs. "Glen always had a rough time of things."**

 **"That's true."**

 **I want to ask her about their tryst in the kitchen that day, part of me aches to understand what they shared all those years, but then I think, _Let them have their secret._**

 **I have a few of my own, after all.**

 **"Do you think he's happy now?" Mom asks after a bit.**

 **"I guess so."**

 ** _He's waiting for you._**

 **"I hope so," she says as her eyes fix hard on mine. "Sally, I love you very much."**

 **I'm crying now, the tears pouring out as my heart rips apart.**

 **"I know that, Mom," I whisper. "I love you, too."**

 **She smiles sadly. "Good to know," she says, her hand tightening around my fingers, then falling away.**

 **Her eyes close.**

 **And just like that, Betty leaves me.**

 **Henry Takes Charge**

 **I'm on hold later with the funeral home when Henry comes into the kitchen and busts me.**

 **"Who you talking to?"**

 **"The funeral home."**

 **His eyebrows go up. "Why?"**

 **I hand him Mom's letter. As he reads it I can see him start to tear up.**

 **He looks at me, his voice kind. "Sweetheart, hand me the phone."**

 **"But-"**

 **"Please, Sally? Your mother had no right putting this all on you."**

 **"I don't mind."**

 **"Yeah, but I do. You've been a godsend, Sally, and I couldn't have managed these past months without you."**

 **He takes the receiver from me and hangs it up, then reaches out to muss my hair.**

 ** _I like when he musses my hair._**

 **I watch as he goes to the liquor cabinet, pulls out the Jack Daniel's, and fills two of our large shot glasses.**

 **He hands one to me.**

 ** _Okay, this is different._**

 **"To Betty," he says, raising his shot in a toast.**

 **"To Mom," I answer, raising mine, and we down them.**

 **"Tell you what," he suggests as the whiskey warms me all the way to my toes, "why don't you hang out here with me, and _I'll_ make the calls."**

 **"Okay," I say, my eyes going wide as he refills our shot glasses.**

 **So I listen to him handle everything as I sip my shot, and I think, _Shit, I coulda done that easy._**

 **Saying Goodbye**

 ** _July 22, 1971._**

 **We bury Mom in West Lawn right next to Grandpa Gene, the sun so bright it hurts my eyes, and I'm all sweaty under my very short, very clingy black dress.**

 ** _Back at the house before we left, Pauline ordered me to change into something more decent, but I told her to lay off and mind her own goddamn business._**

 **" _Did you hear what she just said to me?" she demanded of Henry, but he took one look at the anger on my face and told her maybe she should follow my advice._**

 **Anyway, Mom has a nice turnout, including a lot of people I never met 'til today, plus a few people from Daddy's job: Roger ( _him_ I've met before), and Peggy with some bearded guy she's engaged to, and Joan.**

 **Even Donna's there, and Paula with a frail-looking woman who must be her mother, and Mr. Wagner with all the guys from the shelter, looking sharp in their dress uniforms.**

 **And of course Daddy's there, standing with Henry and Pauline, and Uncle William with one arm around Aunt Judy and the other around Mary.**

 **As for me, I'm off to the side with Carol and Meg, Bobby and Val, and Gene clutching my hand.**

 **"Is Mom in Heaven?" he asks me, then squirms as I hug him against me.**

 **"I don't know, kiddo, but I think she should be."**

 **We all watch as Mom's coffin goes into the ground, and when Billy and the other vets show their respect by saluting, I almost fall apart.**

 ** _Goodbye, Mom. I hope you'll find some peace now, since you never found it here with us._**

 ** _With all my heart I wish that for you._**

 ** _I love you, Sally._**

 **Epilogue**

 **Sally**

 **In my room that afternoon I move around like a zombie, changing from my dress into my Hendrix t-shirt and trying to remember where I'd stashed my current bottle of Schnapps.**

 ** _Ah, there it is, hiding in my underwear drawer._**

 **Then I just sit on my bed, the bottle warm between my legs and tears drying on my cheeks, and I think Daddy was right.**

 **It _is_ up to me to be more. More than just a very beautiful girl, if I am one, and more than whatever it is my life has made me so far.**

 **It's always been up to me.**

 **THE END**


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